Why would he masturbate instead of having sex with me

some heavy fucked up shit all around.

You're not happy, he's not happy. Damn, that's cold.

 

OMG!!! You are so damn hard headed. ALL guys masturbate. We use pics, video's, imagination, and memories. WTF? How hard is that to understand?

 

the difference is, it's normal for guys to masturbate IN ADDITION TO having sex when it's available. but if they enter an exclusive sexual relationship, in which a partner is completely dependent on them for sex, and choose INSTEAD to masturbate...then ya gotta problem.

 

Remember...
it is a proven fact that Pornograpghy ruins long term marriages. Maybe after watching some, your husband wants something that the pornstars are giving him and you aren't...

 

I would like to see the statistics. Where did you find them?

 

"the difference is, it's normal for guys to masturbate IN ADDITION TO having sex when it's available. but if they enter an exclusive sexual relationship, in which a partner is completely dependent on them for sex, and choose INSTEAD to masturbate...then ya gotta problem."

OP is getting laid slightly more than the average married person. OP's husband is masturbating no more than average. There is no issue here

"Remember...
it is a proven fact that Pornograpghy ruins long term marriages. Maybe after watching some, your husband wants something that the pornstars are giving him and you aren't..."

Yeah...I'm sure the person that did the study was a fat x-wife who had let herself go and then wanted to know why her fat ass wasn't getting laid.

 

i'm not going to go back and reread the whole thread, but from what i saw she said she was getting laid about once a month. also he posted somewhere around here that he PREFERS masturbation to having sex, didn't he? you mean to tell me if your wife or gf was only putting out once a month, and preferred to masturbate rather than having sex with you, that you wouldn't have a problem with that?

 

She got drunk Saturday, was actually kind of funny. SHe wanted to go out with her friends but I wasnt having that as I knew they would keep drinking and be flirting. We were home and she really opened up. She made me realize that she really loved me and was open to anything, she made me feel like a king but it also made me feel bad because I realized how much I hurt her. She didnt really care that I jacked off, she just wanted to know that I could jack off to her and that I still find her attractive and she is still hot and I do think she is hot (all my friends think she is a total babe) and so I did jack off to her and that really made her happy. Guys can you imagine jacking off and cumming in a hot warm mouth? SHe has only recently started swallowing and I love it. She actually did that once when we were first dating but I told her I didnt feel right doing that in her mouth (wanted her to know I knew she was a class act) but anyway, she would have been doing it all these years but she remembered me saying that I didnt want to do it that way so she didnt, but man can she deep throat and she really loves swallowing. if we had talked at any time and I had told her to do this, she could have been doing this all along and loving it and you know I would have loved it. She has built me up over hte years telling me how goodlooking and sexy I am until I guess I just thought all women looked at me that way and I was happier "fantasizing" than enjoying what I have here at home. so with a little honest talk I see I can have my "fantasies" with her cause I do love her, I cant imagine life without her when I really think about it

 

She was getting lasi about every 5-6 days. Slightly higher than average for a married couple.

And her insecure but came up with the 'he'd rather masturbate thasn be with me' crap. It was irrational babble, IMO.

EDIT -->yuk. we need to let this god awful thread die already.

 

@Ilovemygirlfriend I don think this is always true. I was in a relationship where apparently this issue was an addiction and was going on before we started seeing one another. Sometimes men have this as an addiction which is why counseling would really benefit your relationship even if he just goes..@Whynotme. I feel for you as I went through this same issue. It stresses the relationship in more areas than just the bedroom. He needs to deal with this problem head on as it's not helping either if you.

 

hey honey why do you have to air our dirty laundry out here like this??

 

What happened with this!? I ask because I am in the same situation now. I am not stupid and I just figured all the same as your responses... "maybe it's not tight enough anymore after kids" "maybe it's boring" "maybe it's because the kids are home or awake" "maybe I need to spice things up" etc. and I have tried. I started sending naughty pictures, wearing sexy lingerie and panties, sending porn, talking dirty, new positions, you name it and I have tried. He always tells me he's "tired" or "his back hurts" or "it's because of my pain pills" but yet he's always in the restroom masterbating. Just like this girl, I won't say how I know, but I KNOW he is and I brought it up. I asked him if he wanted something else and to please be honest why he is doing this instead of having sex with me when I'm always there, but he says "I'm crazy" and that "he doesn't masterbate, that he is really using the restroom." I've asked him to do it for me and with me and he still denies it and says that it is awkward to do that with his wife. And just like she said, he waits for me to leave and then locks himself in the restroom to masterbate while I'm gone. I have asked people while I wasn't home, "where is he" because I will be talking with him and he will just stop replying and they tell me "he's been in the restroom forever." There is also times where he comes out breathing all hard and I can tell he's still hard and other times where I try and have sex with him just to see if I really am crazy and he will just be limp and can't because he's already fulfilled himself. I just don't know what to do anymore and he will not open up to me. It makes me feel horrible about myself and I'm just not sure how much longer I can live like this and knowing he is lying to my face and can't even be honest with his own wife whom he has been with forever. For myself, I feel like I can tell him anything and nothing is embarrassing or awkward for me to confide in him. Also like her husband, I notice when he actually DOES want to have sex, he always wants a blowjob or for me to face the other way and I feel like he does it to fantasize of something or someone else too.

 

Be free and seek to be happy because you sure sound like you're miserable.

 

I feel for you and the OP!

I HAVE to masturbate myself every 48 hours at minimum. If I don't do this, my testicles ache non-stop.

Now, my 1st choice would be to make love with my wife. However, since menopause, and, with her other health issues, I'm lucky to have sex with her once, maybe twice a year now. I'm very frustrated every single day. Masturbation is not my 1st choice, but, a necessary task.

Just so you know, my wife had a very low libido during our younger years too. She never initiated sex between us. She also denies ever masturbating, nor needing to ever masturbate! So, I was lucky to have couples sex once a month, if I was lucky. The rest of the time, I had to masturbate for relief!

I would love to be married to you, since you profess to actually want sex! Your husband is a fool for not taking you to bed instead of locking himself in the bathroom to masturbate. Oh, and, I would also love to masturbate in front of you as well. Mutual masturbation would be fun too!

I believe couples sex is an important part of a marriage. I would recommend to you that you also start to masturbate regularly too, if you don't already. If you can bring yourself to do this, I would also recommend that you let your husband catch you masturbating. He really should know that you have NEEDS too! Men love watching their ladies pleasuring themselves. This might also encourage him to get busy with you!

I hope you are able to resolve this and enjoy more happy endings!

Keep us updated.

 

How many kids, and which one looks like you

You seriously still wondering why he wants you face down?

PS: We can see if you like (like this button) you own post

 

Yes, maybe he is having a super stressful time in his life right now and is trying to cope?

 

It's a different feeling - more intense - personal and private. Married women do it all the time so why not husbands? It's very quick and easy (although it can be extended at will). Sometimes a man will just do it quickly in the office or along the forest trail when jogging (although it may attract bears)