Gay Communes

Discussion in 'Communal Living' started by Duncan, Jul 16, 2006.

  1. Duncan

    Duncan Senior Member Lifetime Supporter

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    I think it's great that communes and intentional communities are pro-family, vegetarian, self-supporting...

    But I was wondering if there are any gay communes out there. And I'm not talking about gay friendly which is a rather subjective term. Any search suggestions?
     
  2. makihiko

    makihiko Official hippie since 2005

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    there are none, just "gay friendly" ones, but none soley homosexual. I was wondering that a while back...if you want it commune wise you gotta make it yourself.
     
  3. raveledinchains

    raveledinchains Member

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    Actually there are quite a few Gay Male ones on IC.org listed if your one of those faerie types:

    Nomenus Radical Faerie Sanctuary in Wolf Creek, Oregon:
    http://directory.ic.org/records/?action=view&page=view&record_id=1301


    Zuni Mountain Sanctuary in Ramah, New Mexico:
    http://directory.ic.org/records/?action=view&page=view&record_id=2850


    Short Mountain Sanctuary, Inc in Liberty, Tennessee:
    http://directory.ic.org/records/?action=view&page=view&record_id=1068


    Starland in Yucca Valley, California:
    http://directory.ic.org/records/?action=view&page=view&record_id=2915


    Folleterre in Ternuay, Vosges, France:
    http://directory.ic.org/records/?action=view&page=view&record_id=20479
     
  4. Dragonwolfwizard

    Dragonwolfwizard Member

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    AS the person before me left the tags for Zuni, Short Mountain, there is also Wolf Creek in Oregon, also a Radical Faerie community, Starland is not going to be liveable for a while. Most are hippie oriented, but, you could certainly check out ones where there is only a few gay men, as so many men left the rural areas in search of acceptance, less harrassment & by far more sex with other hot out men in the bigger cities.

    I left Key West after 7 yrs when I got sober in the 90's. Most of the cmty's I went to had one or none. At Twin Oaks at the height of my time there we had 7 gay men, 4 lesbians and 2 transgenders. I am now in south central Texas as the only gay male here. I miss the company of others like me, most of the communities I have visited in the last 2 years have said I was the first gay man to arrive or even consider them. Lots of hot straight guys, who like to hug & talk to me yet, never any action. I hate going to Gay Bars with all the smoke & I am sober 12 yrs now. Internet dating is hard too, I love communal living, the freedom it provides me with alternative lifestyles, having another gay man would be great, yet, as you know finding the one man to cuddle with and move into something linger term is much harder to find. I will say that all of my 12 yrs in Intentional Living has been worth it, after living in so many gay enclaves in cities like Atlanta, Philly & Key West.

    I am open to more correspondence.

    Kenric aka DragonWolf Wizard
     
  5. Duncan

    Duncan Senior Member Lifetime Supporter

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    The unfortunate thing about the gay listings above is the fact that there is specific reference to radical faery groups. When I think of a gay commune, I am not thinking of a community of nudists or naturalists. I'm actually thinking of just living with gay men. Period.
     
  6. raveledinchains

    raveledinchains Member

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    Sorry I'm not sure what radical faerie at all means. I just took it as meaning they were more feminine then other gay guys?
     
  7. Dragonwolfwizard

    Dragonwolfwizard Member

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    I hear you!! I, so would like to live with all gay men, too. I feel we are a culture unto ourselves. I am not into Radical Faeries. Definition of a Radical Faerie as I can figure out is a gay man who feels he can be anything and likes to dress up in drag, makeup and garden, live and play. Most are way into dress up, I do not think all are femme, that is a stereotype, thinking about femme males. So many gay men are masculine and want to bend the rules of maleness. Zuni Mountain, Short Mountain & Wolf Creek are just areas of men who like to celebrate Pagan holiday, live together freely and it is their way of life, just another paradigm in queer life.

    Uhhhhh, I like queer, fag and homo so much better than "gay", to me gay sounds Way too much. I was around when the word was decided upon to describe us as a whole in the early 70's.The Advocate, then had a poll of its readership. Since I have been queer all my life, known since age 6, I can call myself as I feel most comfortable, besides after being harrassed for so many years it fits me. Irealize alot of men in my generation hate those words since it brings up many connotations not positive, as a Boomer I am living free of negativity, learning to be in a place of positive thought, living in the Law of Attraction & The Law of Love..........unconditional.

    Thanks

    Dragonwolf wizard
     
  8. badboybill

    badboybill Member

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    I am not a Radical Faerie, here is a description for those unfamiliar
    HTML:
    http://www.zms.org/zmspics.html
    , but I have met a couple of guys from Zuni Mountain and they are very nice guys. I suggest looking around on their site as well as others that are mentioned to find out what is out there.

    One of my long term goals is to create a Gay Male Commune. I have been planning this for over 10 years, but I am a few years (4 or 5 hopefully) from being able to start it. If anyone is interested in feel free to contact us
    HTML:
    http://directory.ic.org/22509/Gay_Mens_Rural_Community
    gaymenscommunity@yahoo.com
     
  9. Tsurugi_Oni

    Tsurugi_Oni Member

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    How will your commune grow past your generation? Are you going to adopt babies and convert them to the cause?
     
  10. jaysonpaints

    jaysonpaints Member

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    I am in Canada and would certainly be interested in a community with other gay men. If anything is going on or happening, I would love to be involved. I have thought about trying to start something like this, but need to find more folks who are interested ...
     
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  11. kyzipster

    kyzipster Member

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    I wouldn't dismiss the communities developed by the Radical Faeries. There's a good description of their history on Wikipedia. I've been to 8 large gatherings and there is a very wide range of people from all over the country, masculine, feminine, all in between. It seems to be more about feeling empowered as a gay person and detachment from mainstream society, gay and straight, embracing nature, paganism, whatever you want and nothing is forced on anyone, certainly not drag. I don't even identify as a 'Faerie' but have a great time and get a lot out of participating.

    There's a lot going on at Short Mountain Sanctuary in Tennessee. The sanctuary is around 200 acres with about 15 people living there long term I think and there are over 1000 acres surrounding it that are owned by queer people and several other intentional communities have formed in the area. Some people live independently on their own property. SMS welcomes visitors for camping for a small fee, I'd recommend visiting both during a gathering and when there's no gathering to get a sense of it.

    I've been considering a change to some kind of communal living but all of the Radical Faerie communities are in places with very cold winters. I've decided I do want to be in a queer community but the choices are limited and I'm craving good weather. I'd love to see something develop in Costa Rica, I found several straight communities online that seem interesting.
     
  12. ChronicTom

    ChronicTom Banned

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    I'm really curious about something...

    How do all you supporters for a 'gay' community feel when you see a community that is 'straight' only?

    Discrimination based on sexual identity is still discrimination no matter which you discriminate against.

    Starting or joining any community that preaches either end of that spectrum is just trading one form of sheepdom for another.
     
  13. kyzipster

    kyzipster Member

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    I've only visited the Radical Faerie communities and they are not gay only. All are welcome and quite a few heterosexuals of both genders, families with children, lesbians, bisexuals and transgendered people participate. I've met straight people who identify themselves as "Radical Faerie", no one asks and no one cares. I only know they were straight because they told me so. One guy told me in a very defensive and hostile way when I assumed he was gay, and I was not making a pass or anything resembling a pass.

    If you are 'straight', maybe you should visit so you can get a sense of what it's like to be part of a small minority in an isolated, rural community with only a small chance of connecting romantically with someone. Imagine living that way year round and as far as I know, you would be welcome to.
     
  14. ChronicTom

    ChronicTom Banned

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    So, it isn't really a commune you are talking about then, it's a pick up spot?

    You can say anything you wish here, but the simple fact is that this thread is specifically about gay only communes. In fact, the OP said;

    As for the rest of your reply, it doesn't matter why the commune says they are 'gay only', it is still wrong on at least two levels...

    1) it is sexually discriminatory... what business is it of anyone else, what sexual preference or leaning they have? Why does it matter if that is gay, straight, bi or any other form or variation.

    2) the commune would be run on the same basis as normal society is now, just with the discrimination reversed.

    I guess what it comes down to is what you want out of life. If you're gay, and your only complaint about 'normal' society is that you are discriminated against because of it, then yes, a gay commune would make sense.

    Personally, one of the first red flags I see when looking at any new community is a willingness to openly display discriminatory behavior, especially from a position that there are 'reasons' that it is okay to do so.
     
  15. kyzipster

    kyzipster Member

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    No, it's not a pickup spot and I did not imply that it was. Are you really trying to suggest that there is no sexual or romantic involvement between members of communes that are not gay identified? Sex may not be the first priority but for most people it plays a significant role in life, relationships and family. How do you think heterosexual families come into being?

    I was addressing the only gay communes that I'm familiar with, and from what I can see on this thread, they may be the only ones that exist, they're the only ones I'm familiar with and I've done a lot of googling. As I clearly stated, there is no exclusion of anyone based on sexual orientation, all are welcome, even encouraged to come. The discrimination you are complaining about does not exist and they fall within the category of this thread as I understand it, 'gay communes, not simply gay friendly'.

    You're right in a way, it is a society set up in reverse with gay people as the majority and straights as a small minority but no one is excluded, in the same way I would probably not be excluded as a gay person at a commune that was almost exclusively heterosexual. Come check it out, you would be welcomed.

    Discrimination is not the ONLY problem with mainstream society but it is most definitely a problem and a gay commune is a safe place to be ourselves absolutely. There are only a handful of gay, urban ghettos where that is true to the same degree in mainstream society. I've also come across discrimination in heterosexual communes that I've visited where I've been treated like the other. If we lived in a utopian society, I might accept your view, but homophobia is ingrained in our culture and it most definitely reaches to the "hip" among us. There's a homophobic comment in this very thread, a comment about converting babies.

    Your perceived victimhood here is a difficult thing to grasp. If you don't understand the need for members of a persecuted minority to create a safe place for spiritual exploration, I can't explain it further.
     
  16. ChronicTom

    ChronicTom Banned

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    If there is no exclusion of anyone based on sexual orientation, how do you figure they are 'gay communes'?

    I don't know what definitions you are using for your terms, but 'gay friendly, means that they are friendly towards gay's, as in they do not discriminate either way...

    a 'gay commune' implies the same thing a 'straight commune' does... sexual discrimination.

    As for 'within the category of this thread', I'll quote (for the second post in a row), what the OP said, with the appropriate part highlighted.

    My perceived victimhood?? Perhaps it is difficult to grasp because there is none?

    Why is it that you assume a person must feel victimized to stand up for something that is right?

    I understand that creating further separations in our society based upon factors such as that to the exclusion of others, is no way to move forward as a society. It doesn't matter if you are talking on a small scale such as a commune or on a large scale as in the world at large.

    The answer is inclusion, not exclusion, and if you don't understand the need for that, I can't explain it any further.
     
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  17. kyzipster

    kyzipster Member

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    I shouldn't have personalized the word 'victim' and I apologize, but if you're going to suggest that gay communes discriminate, then there has to be a victim of that discrimination. I have explained that the only gay communes I'm familiar, and the only ones mentioned so far in this thread, do not discriminate in any way, all are welcome. No different in any way from heterosexual communes that are 'gay friendly' and not all of them advertise as 'gay friendly'. You don't seem to accept that all are welcome, or something.

    The majority doesn't have to advertise as 'heterosexual' for very obvious reasons. I have come across some communities while researching online that cater to practitioners of a particular yoga, to women, to Christians, to families with children, to vegetarians, to sober people, to only non-smokers, eco-friendly, to people of independent financial means only. For the most part, all the communities seem open to all yet they have a particular focus and some go so far as to ban particular behaviors and habits. I have no problem with any of these approaches to communal living. If I don't believe their approach is a fit for me then I won't check it out. I see no difference between a gay commune that welcomes all and any number of communes with a certain theme or goal, that might fill a need for a group of people with a common interest. If you don't like the idea of a gay commune then don't go there but I don't think it's fair to make an accusation of discrimination, I see no evidence that it's true.
     
  18. ChronicTom

    ChronicTom Banned

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    You are definately right in that most communes and the like are based around some aspect that allows people to follow along a central theme.

    It is that very aspect itself that I disagree with, no matter the subject. The saddest part about us as humans is that we look for simplistic and easy to follow paths, even if they are only in name. That is why christianity, islam and all the other religions flourish and convince their followers to go to war with each other. It is also why extreme cults can pop up and convince their followers to commit mass suicide and/or murder. Because at the heart of it all, people want to follow something.

    On occasion, communes and such do come along that try to eliminate that as much as possible. They usually don't make it far in terms of people who join them though. Because the idea of being an individual, without a clear path to follow, scares the hell out of the majority of people.

    Which brings us back to the point :)

    If labeling a commune as gay, makes it no different then one that is labelled as gay friendly, or one that is labeled as hetrosexual, assuming they all don't exclude anyone based on other sexual identities, what is the point to the label at all? Well... beyond the point of giving people a label to follow... ie.. "I live on a (gay/gay friendly/straight) commune"
     
  19. kyzipster

    kyzipster Member

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    All I can say is that the Radical Faeries, which may be one of the only groups that has made an effort at gay communal living, is the most accepting, open society I've ever experienced with absolutely no rules on sexual orientation and almost no rules of any kind beyond the most practical. Perhaps the closest thing I've seen to your ideal but their gatherings can be particularly empowering to LGBT people who can have specific issues because of the society we live in. Some of us are not even aware of these issues until we explore an alternative that challenges us. I did not have this experience at other communities I've visited, the 'gay friendly' communities where I was the only gay person there as far as I could tell.
     
  20. ChronicTom

    ChronicTom Banned

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    Apparently I'm just confused, because none of that makes any sense at all...

    What makes them 'gay communes' if there are no rules regarding sexuality? This is the part that I keep harping on, because it makes absolutely no sense at all to call a commune a 'gay commune', if there are no rules regarding sexuality there.

    It is like saying, I'm going to make a club for red haired people, but allowing everyone regardless of hair color to join. What is it that makes it a club for red haired people if not having red hair?
     

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