Girls: if you had a penis for a day

Well there ya go! See, you have done almost all the things I would want to try if I had one for a day! It's like having a new toy, you have to see what it can do hahaha!
8.5 inches holy fuck! Can I see? Lol
What would you do if you had a vagina for a day?

 

Stick things in it all day long.

 

get a whole bunch of free stuff.

 

Omg what am I missing here? I want free stuff!

 

Hey there, I'm the great Irminsul and for far too long we've been listening to these men with penises talk about their hard times and our female rights, well ain't that the pits? So I thought I'd take you all on an imaginary journey about if I could have a penis for a day.

Ohh if I could have a penis for a day, I would live my life the really easy way, I'd stand to take a piss and bask in the suns bright rays, if I could have a penis for day.

So for one whole day, a penis I could have, why I'd probably wake up in the morning and give that thing a grab then stumble into the bathroom staring at my beer gut belly flab, if I could have a penis for a day.

Then I'd shuffle down the stairs after I'd gone to the loo, then guess what I'd do next, you shouldn't even need a clue, I'd get the wife to make bacon and eggs like all good hubbies do, if I could have a penis for a day.

So I'd head on over to the office and start some work there, sit with all the blokes and complain the missus sex affairs, amongst a whole host of porn magazines we got scattered everywhere, if I could have a penis for a day.

Now when I think I need sex I'd just go out and buy it, or I could rape me some women but you know that I'd deny it, and I'd end up at the tavern with the other men and lie about it, if I could have a penis for a day.

But I don't have a penis and boys it don't need to be, because some of y'all pigs let me tell you it's plain and simple to see, that if I had a penis for a day I'd be raping young women like me, so I don't want to have a penis for a day.

I don't want to have a penis for a day, I don't want to live my life the easy way, I'll struggle long and struggle hard but that's okay because I'll never have a penis for a day, no I'll never have a penis for a day.

 

Ooh ooh I got it! Real answer.

I'd lie about how big it was!

 

You said 'penises' and 'hard'.

 

Ohhh I forgot about this. I thought it was fantastic. Lol.

 

come to canada

pop out a few kids and the government will send you a good paycheck and free social housing

youll also get lots of extras that working people dont get ..such as free dental coverage...and to top it off you wont even be taxed on your income..in fact theyll refund you taxes you didnt even pay

 

you could even get on the internet and pretend to be a woman.

 

ever notice how all "women" on the internet are insatiable fuck whores, and yet, spend all their time on the internet instead of getting laid

You would think that being gangbanged in every orifice 4 times a week would eat up a lot of one's free time. Just like all these men with 12 inch dicks. Shouldn't you be off the internet and out spreading your love?

There are no small tits, small dicks or average looking people on the internet. That's a fact.

 

And every husband has a share wife and spends more time typing up stories and and forum posts than actually sharing their wife.

 

I guess if someone else is fucking their wives, they have all the free time to hang out on Hip Forums.

No. Wait. Wait a minute. Maybe their wives are fucking others BECAUSE they are too busy posting on Hip Forums.

*head explodes*

 

I'm actually surprised that for the majority the 2 women and 1 man seems to be non existent. I mean I'm obviously maturing into a mature forum, but dudes want other dicks here.

 

So basically if I had a penis for a day I'd sign onto hipforums and make up stories about my love life then I'd play with myself while reading my own posts. then I probably get tired and I'd wake up as Irminsul with no penis and I'd go out to the town and FUCK ALL THE WOMEN LIKE A MAN IS SUPPOSED TO!

 

no

you'd all be too busy spending the day wacking off

 

Yeah, over my own posts and stories. =p

 

Yeah, but don't you do that anyway?

 

I do...lmao.


Yup allot of all talk here.

 

I'minmyunderwear, in post #40, said in relevant part:
"self suck, everybody in the world has tried and failed at that.try and shoot cum in my mouth, fuck no, i've tasted a drip on my finger and that shit's nasty...."

My reply:
When I was a young and confused sort of guy, I got curious one day and tried this, quite successfully, I might add. The taste didn't bother me (like raw egg whites) and I just wanted to know what the big deal was about bj's. As it turned out, my young body was far more flexible than most, and this was easily accomplished, so I made quite the habit of it for a while. EVERYTHING went down my throat, including my nuts. I loved it. So much I'd lay there curled up like a dog for quite a while just enjoying myself. Never lost my love for women's bodies, though, and never developed an interest in other guys, but dang, it was magical to finally experience a good bj after hearing about it all those years, especially from self-professed female "experts", who, as it turns out, were woefully ignorant. I stopped years ago. A young lady spoiled me so bad I didn't want anyone or anything else.


Candybuttons, in post #41 replied to i'minmyunderwear thusly:
"What would you do if you had a vagina for a day?"


My reply to this is:
"Why, I'd be looking up i'minmyunderwear to see if he really does have 8.5", see if it fits and, if so, for how long will it last."


My life is considerably different these days, and has been for over 20 years. Many things I tried before I'd walk away from these days for various reasons. Enjoy.