I would apreciate other peoples opinion on a certain subject. Im going to keep it as short and complete as possible, I used to date a girl who worked at the same company as me, besides the highs and lows I liked our relationship very much, hey company was great I met her family we all traveled together to her weekend home etc.. In April 2007 because of a couple of reasons and her going to london for half a year (was planned and paid for even before we ever met) we broke up. We kind of lost contact but reinitiated it strongle in November whilst she was still in London. We talked about seeing eachother I mentioned wanting to get back together etc... In December she returned, we started to see each other, went on several dates but the mood was not quite the same, she seemed especially fisically distant but the company was still very nice. But as time passed (3-4 weeks) she became even more distant... not really showing to much interest. I believe i was a great guy since her return, I picket her up to go out all the time, planned a trip to the beach even bought her an Ipod for cristmass with a very thought full engraving on the back (part of the Romeo and Juliet Dire straight song). But because of her distance which made me very dissapointed, sad short fused with people etc.. (at this point I started to suspect of her "loyalty" to me her ex boyfriend and present whatever you want to ccall it) all because I really like this girl and wanted things to work out... This part I really dont like to think and/or mention but I migh as well spill it, we had planned a trip together during the new year but she ended up going to a friends familys house in a nother city... I dont have Orkut, sh doed so I went in to hers to check out scraps through a friends account. I saw messages exchanged between a guy and her basically saying "It was nice getting to know you and maybe during carnaval well be back in you town" I told her I saw the messages and shw just said that guy is a friend of my friends family etc... reading the message went straight through my fucking heart like an icicle !!! Back a few steps... I sent her the e-mail breaking up and she answered back saying I really like you and I dont want to lose contact Im returning the dvd´s you left here at home.. nothing to deep !! That was 2 1/2 weeks ago.. today my cel rang and it was her, she said "hey how are you... you did not pick up the dvd´s, are you mad at me, did you block me on msn" i said "we just did not bump in to each other online etc.." I kept my cool... it was a very short phone call about 1 min. To finish she sair "well ok talk to you later"... you know very shalow. Where i would usually continue the conversation i just said in a friendly way "ok good bye" Now I would like your opinion on the reason of the call... Did she call to sort out the dvd issue ? Did she call because she misses me and wanted ME to initiate conversation ? Was she expecting Me to initiate conversation as i always did in the past ? Listen ive got to go to a bar... I honestly hope you people read and opine !!!! THANK YOU !!!
Honestly? I think you guys do not have good communication and you're both playing games with each other. Communication is the cornerstone of a solid, healthy relationship. I would gander that she's still interested in you and misses you. She's more than likely using the DVD's as an excuse to see you and take your temperature. She knows she potentially messed up by misleading you depending on your agreement with each other to see other people. Was it clear and defined? Or were you both still getting to know one another? I'm not really clear on this. If it's the former and you both agreed to be exclusive, than you're certainly justified in feeling pissed off and hurt. If it's the latter and there was a lot of ambiguity, then again communication comes into play. If I were you I would follow my instincts. If you care about her and are just healing from having your heart broken, give yourself some time to heal and look at that. Perhaps she merely triggered something that was already in your space, let's say from some other emotional thing that may have happened in your life, with your folks or in another relationship. Relationships bring up our shit. Right in our face. It's easy to be single and only have to deal with one person. When you're building a relationship with someone, inevitably you're going to butt heads because it's two individuals getting together with their own way of communicating and seeing the world. There will be conflict eventually. How you manage and deal with it is an indication of how long your relationship may last or whether or not you should be together in the first place. It helps when you have disagreements and misunderstandings to directly approach your partner and work out your differences, getting a better handle on where you're both coming from. I'm sure you probably know all of this. Relationships can also be vehicles for tremendous personal growth and to share the ultimate energy which is LOVE. If you've got all kinds of games going on and are not clear in your own space, it makes it more difficult to have and experience a genuine, grounded, healthy relationship that makes you both feel good for the most part. In this case, perhaps you're both perceiving something about one another that isn't even true! You obviously don't believe her story about this guy being a family friend. This is where you gut instincts or intuition comes in. If you don't trust her, how can you be with her and what difference does it make if she is attempting to get back with you if you're no longer interested? If you want to end all communication, be clear with her exactly why you are not interested in talking to her and this will hault the game playing with the DVD's. However, if you really care about this woman, you may need to think about your approach and what you want in your life and relationships. What qualities are you attracted to (with her) exactly? Does she meet your expectations or are you both just filling up emotional holes? It's all about striking a balance with your male and female energy. You're yin and yang are out of whack with each other. The best person to talk to about this is her if you want to resume a relationship with her and also to end it. Either way, I wish you the best.
First of all thank you very much for taking you time and patiently answering this long post with interesting and extremely helpfull opinions and observations !!! Again thank you very much for the help, I hope to hear from you soon !!
How do you think I ated during the phone call ? Remember I mentioned above she has a history of only looking me up when I back off. She called mentioned the dvd´s, I ususlly at that point would initiate conversation but I was only friendly and finished the chat quickly. Even though I really wanted to bring up the subject of us, I think the way I acted will make her even more bothered and woried because ive never backed off twice in a row. But then again we are not being transperant to each other and continuing with the games which is what i definitely dont want. But honestly I do feel better for having acted the way I did in comparason to when I used to do the oposite. So whats you opinion ??
