Younger women attracted to older men. How common? What are the deciding factors?

I have kicked this around a lot in my head, particularly so this year as a woman 23 years younger than I has seemingly shown some interest in me. We're just distant friends though, and both of us are married, me happily. But, I really like her and have thought if something happened between our respective marriages, she is someone I would definitely like to get to know better. And I'm not just talking about sex here.

I then wake up to the realization that she's young enough to be my daughter and ask why she would be interested in me. Sure, I'm more fit than many guys her age including her husband, and I've never had issue attracting women. But still! She's young, educated, intelligent, and beautiful. She could have about any type of man she wanted.

I then think about some close male friends of mine who have had long term relationships with much younger women, or, are married to them. One is 60, his wife 33. The others are 60 and 30, 53 and 23, and 52 and 26 (I'm in my early 50s). It makes me curious, how common this sort of age disparity is and if it would happen more if it were more socially acceptable. The long-term odds seem against such relationships. Yet, they are out there, out of norm as they are.

So, what is it about older men that women would or could be attracted to? Would love to hear the thoughts of women on this but, welcome thoughts from men as well.

 

Experience

They want a man and not a boy

 

I don't know exactly, but my wife says that the best sex she has experienced was with a man 25 older than her. (Of course, she meant other than with me.)

 

Surprised there haven't been more replies. At any rate, since posting, I've learned of another couple with a large age difference who have been together for 10 years and appear happy. He's 74, she 44. Both good looking but age, as it does with us all, is taking its toll on him. It seems a relationship destined to fail, as do all the others with large age differences. But some surely survive, for one reason or the other. But how many is the question in my mind.

 

A good bank account? Maybe they're attracted to stability, experience and inteligence instead of the party and bone ya bye scene.

Why don't you ask her what she sees in you? Maybe she wants quick daddy romp to get it out of her system especially if she has trouble in paradise - then again, maybe that's a reason why there is trouble.

My guess on the half life of a relationship like that is usually until she finds finds someone more her age, especially when he isn't the superman he was at 65....

No matter how attractive it is, don't risk your marriage on anything serious with this girl.

 

Many tend to be short term relationships to gain experience .I dated a woman for a short period who was 10 years older than me . I learned quite a lot as she took charge of proceedings .

 

I have no intentions of risking my marriage. I am very happily married to a seriously incredible woman. I just feel that there's some sort of mutual connection with this young woman and I'm trying to gain some insight, out of sheer curiosity, why some younger women are attracted to much older men.

 

Well, as long as you can keep it 'platonic'....Greek for "keep it on your pants". I don't know, I think it would be difficult not to have some sexual attraction...

 

I'm not too worried about that. I rarely see this woman. Worse than a sexual attraction though, in my mind, is emotional. You run across people in life that, for what ever reason, you are drawn to, and you feel it in return. That is this woman. Oddly, today at lunch, some completely unrelated talk led my wife to give me a list of women she'd approve of if something happened to her. The young women I speak of here made number 2 on that list. She barely knows this woman, so it surprised the hell out of me! She apparently picked up on some energy between us on one of the small handful of times she has seen us talking.

 

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Don't know if she has any sexual attraction to me, and never claimed that I thought she did. I just know there is some sort of connection between us. Since my last post, I ran into one of her family members and, when this young women came up in conversation, the family member told me that she had noticed a mutual connection between us. That aside, while I think she's beautiful, and sexually attractive, it's far more than that for me. I just really like her.

 

So I saw her again the other day. It had been several months prior. The same thing is there, and I think I've figured it out. Her eyes. She has stole my heart with her eyes. I've always enjoyed speaking with others who will make direct eye contact. However, I've never encountered another woman that holds it the way she does for as long as she does, while talking and listening. It's different than normal communicative eye contact though. We gaze into each others eyes and it feels so good. I want to reach out to her face and caress it, slowly pulling her in for a soft kiss. I fantasize about that very thing many times a day and have for months. It has interfered with my work and makes me distant from my wife. It makes me feel like a pig!

My wife, who was my high school sweetheart, is the most selfless person I know, beautiful, loves sex, has been my best friend, supports anything and everything I have ever wanted to do, etc, etc. Yet, even though I don't know how much I have in common with this younger woman, it is she who has captured my thoughts. She has the physical attributes I'm most attracted to yet, oddly, I rarely think of her in a raw sexual way. It's just fantasies of being alone, talking for hours, gazing into each others eyes, caressing her face, and kissing her. She has let me know when she's going to be in my area and has told me she's going to be around more. I'm not certain but I'm not sure we even have that much in common. Still, I'm looking for every excuse I can find to talk to this woman. I feel like a fool, like a pig, like there is something wrong with me.

Any other guys or gals out there who can relate to such feelings?

 

Oh, there's nothing wrong with you......you are playing with fire, though....

 

I think you feel bad because the feelings and fantasies you are describing ought to be reserved for your high school sweetheart.
Your wife seems to be pretty relaxed about it, but I'd ask myself would she be if she read your posts here?

 

She'd be broken, and rightly so. I don't know how to get this young woman off my mind though. Not even sure I want to which makes me feel even worse. There's more to it than her eyes. Just something about her that has captured me.

 

Maybe so friend, but as the old saying goes, dance with the one who brought you.
I've been tempted before, the beautiful eyes, etc, but life, real life is constructed from the times you spend with the person who is truly invested in you...

Beauty is fleeting...

 

Wise words! We've been married so long (35 years and 100% faithful) that I think I'm jaded to all that is great about her. She is awesome and I love her to the core! The thought of newness, different, and falling in love again though releases some chemical in my brain that feels so good yet so bad. Puts me in knots.

 

Do yourself a favor. Sometime in the next day or so, allow yourself to see her as you once did. The youthful her, the new her. Let your mind travel back to that time.
I've been married for 35 years also and on occasion I see my wife as she used to be. In reality, it's my perspective that changes not her. She is who she always was, my love and my companion.

Whatever I might have been tempted by can't hold a candle to her.

 

Since you have a wife you are attracted to and still has sex with you, try to shake off the infatuation with this younger gal. Try imaging her throwing up, belching, having diarrhea, she stepped barefoot in dog poo, etc. to break the attraction link when you think about or see her.
My best friends wife has a female friend, that many of his guy friends are drawn to and flirt with like stammering idiots. She's merely slightly physically attractive, but her radiant personality could make the cover of Playboy or Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition! My friend gets nervous whenever he sees me speak to her at gatherings.
I just try to keep myself in check when I do, find one thing that is unattractive about her, and focus on that to break the spell. To me, it's a fun challenge of her being a woman I'm am drawn to irresistibly, and keeping myself in check!
You can do it & resist her, just stay focused and be aware of the effect she has on you!

 

You may very well be right. I think too that it is the notion of something new for me. I've sensed something from this young woman, even if it is a "polite interest" in me as you say, and my mind has run with it, due in part of her being young and attractive but, to a larger degree, of the idea of something new, different. I think it's why couples swing.