Ya might be a Redneck

If your standard of living improves when ya go camping

your prenuptial agreement mentions chickens

You have jacked up your home to look for the dog

Your neighbor has asked to borrow a quart of beer

You belch on your answering machine

None of your tires on the van are the same size

The doghouse & your living have the same shag rug

Starting your car involves popping the hood

You rebuilt a carburetor while sitting on the toilet

You've slow danced in the waffle house

Your garbage man is confused on what stays & goes

You actually wear shoes that the dog brought home

 

adding to the list...
You paint your car with house paint.
Your dog goes "oink!"
You think the Nutcracker is something you did off the high dive.
You judge drive time solely by the number of beers you need to take.
Your home has more miles on it than your car.
You consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.
You think the stock market has a fence around it.
Your stereo speakers used to belong to the Moonlight Drive-in Theater.
You own a homemade fur coat.

 

You were married 3 times & still have the same in-laws

You think possum is the other white meat
You carried a fishing pole into Sea World
You believe dual air bags refer to the wife & mother-in-law
You think the OJ trail was a Sunkist & Minutemaid taste test

 

You go to family reunions to pick up chicks.
You wear a tube top to a funeral.
You smell the armits of your shirt before putting it on to see if it's clean enough.

 

You have a seperate refrigerator just for beer.

Your home is mobile, and your car isn't.

Your front porch collapses and kills more than 3 dogs.

(my favorite) Your Mamma doesn't take the Marlboro out from between her lips before she tells the State Trooper, "Kiss my lilly-white ass!"

 

I must finally be getting tired guess some of these sounds like something I could do. Ok I've been awake for maybe over 31 hours, and this last hour my posts are getting really wierd so I'm gonna nap for awhile and hopefully wake up normal again.

 

haha aw i love jeff foxworthy
you know youre a redneck when you mow your lawn and find a car
when your working tv sits atop your non working tv
if youve ever opened a beer during a ulagee(sp?)
if youve ever slept at a waffle house
if you have a smaller gun rack on your gun rack
and one of my favourites .... if youve ever had your nipple bitten off by a beaver

 

Well, crap, I'm guilty of that ^^^


If your entire wardrobe can be acceptably worn with or without a baseball cap...

If your family tree looks like a wreath......

If more than one person at your holiday party answers to the name 'Bubba'....

If there is a transmission in your bathtub.......

If your comb has more teeth than your mouth.........

 

HOLY SHIT! i can't believe that first one, because my husband and i were jsut talking about some friends of ours and making the same comments!! you'd think these guys were flat busted broke, until you saw all their camping toys. their camper is better than their house, as is the truck, all 4 quads, the archery gear, fucking everything. it's hysterical.

 

Can a black person be a redneck too?

 

hey, wait a minute!! the beer fridge is an essential for any family pool hall / football viewing home bar!

 

"I don't know why more black people don't like bowling.........you take one BLACK ball..........knock down ten WHITE pins..........













..............with RED NECKS!" -- some comedian

 

ya might be a redneck if you talk funny.

how was that one? I came upw / it all by maself.

 

aintcha got no sense, boy?!

 

Redneck

 

sheeyit! i tell you whut! 'druther be a redneck.

 

you might be a redneck if

You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge'.

You consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.

A seven course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack

One of your kids was born on a pool table.

Someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle

Your house doesn't have curtains,but your truck does.

Anyone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, y'all watch this!".


Your child's first words were "Attention K-Mart shoppers!"

 

you would know........

 

Me too. It's funny to go back to my hometown and see that some of them haven't changed at all.

 

i got anuther one

yuo mite be a redneck if yer stupid