Wow is my relationship really that weird?

Discussion in 'Love and Sex' started by amdoch, Jan 29, 2008.

  1. amdoch

    amdoch Member

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    Alright here is a little back story :)
    I moved here from Germany and met this girl who i really love..I mean i am not giving you this teenager crap "I am sooo in love since we have been dating 2 weeks" but i am seriously thinking about proposing to her (been dating 2 years).
    Since we are both bi we give each other the freedom to be with other partners as long as we are honest enough to tell each other about it (she also gives me the freedom to be with other girls..she simply doesnt like being with other guys). Our current situation is that we have 2 girls who we are friends with benefits with (atleast me..she has something more going on with one girl) but here is the problem:

    I was messing around with,lets call her simply asian girl, at my house until my step dad (very strict against sex before marriage) walked in and looked very confused and furious -_-. I had to explain our whole relationship and since then he kinda has not talked to me..
    Is my relationship really that weird? I always thought it kicked ass

    Sorry for the long explanations =/
     
  2. MollyBoston

    MollyBoston Fluffer

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    Ha...oh, man, that's a tough situation. Yeesh. Has he talked to your girl about it? I gotta tell you: you should be prepared for a long life of him hating your guts. He will probably never understand or approve.

    I think you two get to have whatever kind of relationship you want, though. Is it unusual? Yeah, I think so. Most people can't make open relationships work, even if they try. But "unusual" doesn't mean it doesn't kick ass.
     
  3. Musikero

    Musikero Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

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    Yeah it's weird - but so what? It kicks ass, doesn't it? Don't expect your dad to understand though, especially if he's really strict and old-fashioned when it comes to relationships and sex.
     
  4. jrnyman

    jrnyman kermit

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    It's always tough when people, especially those close to you, find out about choices that you make that they don't understand. He'll probably come around eventually. It's all about what you and your lover/s think is good for you. If you're true to yourself you really can't lose. I have similar issues with my family. If you still live with your parents now might be a good time to think about getting your own place.
     
  5. jimmyjoe1

    jimmyjoe1 toker Lifetime Supporter

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    Wow you'r 20 so you love you'r girl . great isnt it just you and the girl , caus when you love somone as much as you love you'r g/f nothing or nobody should have any say in what you do . good luck hope all is good for both of you .
     
  6. TransAmRocker

    TransAmRocker Member

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    to answer your topic question: YES IT IS. However you have the benefit cuz she is aware that you're cheating and you are aware she is cheating. But, i dont think your "proposal" and maybe even "marriage" will last long.
     
  7. shadeslayer16

    shadeslayer16 Guest

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    it aint wierd, just ur decision, although i think after marraige perhaps your view of an open relationship will change.
    i cudnt have this sort of relationship with my girlfriend lol just the thought of other ppl puttin their hands on her makes me angry
     
  8. new-guy

    new-guy Member

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    its not weird at all ur lucky to have some as open and relaxed aboutit like the two of u are
    as for ur father tell him to look the other way if he is against it couse. its ur life and u old enough to make ur own choices young padawan
     
  9. Ausin

    Ausin Member

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    if you marry at 20 you will ruin your life, listen to the hippies who say its okay at your own peril...
     
  10. sarahrei

    sarahrei ~Lover~

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    ^ thats not always true, it depends on the people. It's clear that they have great trust in one another, and communication is good. My parents got married at 18 and they have been married for 36 years, and Cuff a fellow member on here got married at 18.
     
  11. Hideous Mangleus

    Hideous Mangleus Member

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    Times were different 36 years ago. Marriage at 20 aint a death sentence, but in today's world the likelihood of it succeeding is slim. Not impossible, though.

    As far as this topic goes, I'd seriously hold off on the whole marriage thing. Humans are incredibly emotional creatures. Particularly at your age. The chances of either one of you unwittingly falling for one of your liaisons is not unlikely.
     
  12. sarahrei

    sarahrei ~Lover~

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    Cuff is only 19 now, and she's very happy. Just because society as a whole is far too immature to handle marriage at a young age DOESN'T mean that all people that young can't handle it.
     
  13. new-guy

    new-guy Member

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    ^ true but i would feel (and do feel) unconformable about marriage at a young age if it works great but idk with school and work and dept (at leat thats my life) marriage would be too much my GF disagrees she wants to be married with in 2 years soo at 21-23. i want to wait till im out of school in 5 years and have a good job or possibly a home. am i wrong to think this way
     
  14. sarahrei

    sarahrei ~Lover~

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    Not at all, it really depends on the person. I'm 20 and I'm getting married shortly, but I also have my life in order.
     
  15. jrnyman

    jrnyman kermit

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    yeah and life wasn't all that different 36 years ago which is when my mom and biological father got married... she was 18 and he was 21 he left before I was born and until recently I never saw him at all. I think marriage is what you make of it. if anything I think marriages have more of a chance today because people see how fucked up stuff can get. it's all about what you want and how you get it I think.
     
  16. EarthChildOfPeace

    EarthChildOfPeace Member

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    hmm. my parents got married when my mom was 17 and my dad was 19. i don't desire to get married super early but is it wrong that i want to make having a family the focus and goal of my life rather than make my goal be a career. to me that would come second . but i have been told this is a very naive way of thinking and i should just get a good job before i start thinking about a family.
     
  17. jia

    jia Member

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    Your father is a dbag, it sounds like.
     
  18. Texplayboy

    Texplayboy Hip Forums Supporter HipForums Supporter

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    It sounds to me like you should have taken one on the chin and not exposed your girl. That would have blown over a lot quicker than telling the family that your future bride is bi sexual and you guys share asian girls... just my thoughts.

    But on the other side, I can say that open marriages work. I have been married for six years, and we have been together for 8, and still going strong. The only rocky patch was when we stopped communicating, once we talked that out, things were stonger than ever.

    Good luck.
    james
     
  19. heyashi

    heyashi Banned

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  20. addictedt0chaos

    addictedt0chaos Lunar Dreadlocks

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    Sounds like your in a healthy relationship to me. It's great that you can be so open and still together. Many bis find it hard to have that balance.. :/
     

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