Working outside the home...

Discussion in 'Parenting' started by HippyFreek, Jun 26, 2006.

  1. HippyFreek

    HippyFreek Vintage Member

    Brian's job is a huge stresser for him. And it doesn't pay *that* well. So, we've been trying to scrape by, but with everything going on, we know it's just not happening.

    So I've started looking for work outside of the home. I found a good lead, as a 911 operator. It pays very well, so well in fact, that BRIAN could stay home with Moire. He could quit his job and be with his little girl. I'd love that.

    But...How do you do it? Leave your baby? I just can't imagine being away from her. I know she would be with her daddy and that is just as good as being with her mommy, especially since I can't breastfeed, but it still seems really hard to even contemplate.
     
  2. barefoot_kirstyn

    barefoot_kirstyn belly flop

    It's a hard thing to do....I totally understand where you're coming from...I'm starting college in the fall and the thought of Leane going into daycare is killing me.
    Be glad that at least Brian would be able to be home with her.:)
    Of course this is really hard for you right now, she's still just tiny.
    but it really does come down to what's best for you guys.
    I worked for a while part time, and every day it got easier. Leane was home with Cody, so it was easier than daycare, but still hard. I made a braclet with her name on it and a picute in my apron to look at and I talked about her all the time with customers, and that really did make it easier. Then when I got home I claimed her for the rest of the night.
    You'll be really sad at first, but all i can say is just enjoy all time time at home with her, you still will get lots of bonding and play time. Lots of people do it...I'd actually ask hippylandscapers wife (think she changed her name to skyes hippy mama).
    Good luck with this. I know how hard and stressful this can be...Cody and I hardly sleep because we're so stressed about money.
    ((((hugs))))
     
  3. Critter1223

    Critter1223 Member

    Sounds like it could be very good news, Holly. It would definatley be hard to leave little Moire, but to know she was at home, with her daddy would take away all worries. If it is better money for you both, with good benefits, go for it. You could work something out, maybe hourly wise, so you can spend quality time with her everyday~ Plus the benefits of no child care costs is priceless. I am a SAHM, and lucky to be one, But Sometimes I wish I had an outside job. Good Luck:)
     
  4. drumminmama

    drumminmama Super Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

    I worked part time off and on with Arlo, and then when he was at visitation after I split with his dad.
    It is doable. Someone has to work. and full time, esp as dispatch, nets benefits.
    Useful benefits.
    Here are some downsides:
    should you two split, the court will favor the parent who did stay home, unless you are in Oklahoma and not Christian.
    That person will be seen as primary caregiver.
    It sucks when baby's first word is dada.
    How old is Moire?
     
  5. mamaboogie

    mamaboogie anarchist

    I wouldn't do it, but that's just me. You gotta do what's best for your family and your situation. My DH found a job shortly after our oldest child was born that paid more than what we were both making put together before the baby. But before he got his new job, I had already decided it wasn't worth going back to work for various reasons. I have always intended to homeschool my children (won't go into all my reasons for this, just suffice it to say it was not negotiable). But mostly it was because my take home pay, after work-related expenses, and after paying daycare, would have been about $100 per week and that's just not enough to make it worth being away from my kid(s) all day every day, and that doesn't take into account when baby gets sick from being around sick kids and someone has to stay home with her, or when parents get sick from being around sick kid and can't go to work.

    Why can't your husband take the job as 911 operator?
     
  6. I don't know....but I figure there's scaping by and scraping by and you have to make that choice yourself...personally if I had a partner that was in a job they found stressful I would say get over it...if it didn't pay that well and I was bottlefeeding and trusted in my relationshp then I would probably have to look at things dfferently...but ultimately I am selfish and would cut costs and corners and make do in order that I would be there to experience as much as possible what was going on in my little ones life...in fact when I look at the choices I have made I think that is what I have done whilst still working towards the future for all of us.
    good luck and remember that your relationship with Moire is a special one that despite circumstances will always have it's own particular qualities unique to you and her!
    :)
     
  7. jgirl

    jgirl Hip Forums Supporter HipForums Supporter

    I couldn't do it. I worked my ass off in school and earned two degrees. I was working up to a great position in management and had so many goals...Before my son was born. After he came, none of it mattered anymore. I quit my job because it was just too hard, I tried going back to work, but it broke my heart. My mom was even staying with me to watch him and taking really good care of him. But when she saw him roll over for the first time, and I missed it, I was crushed and decided it wasn't worth it. I figure that they are only little for short time, and I will just hate it if I missed anything. Good luck, I think it is the hardest thing a mother has to do!
     
  8. HippyFreek

    HippyFreek Vintage Member

    Well, the good job lead turned into a pile of poo...

    I'm a marijuana advocate. And in the last three years, I've smoked marijuana. I'm not bothered by that fact.

    But to work for King County, you can't have smoked, sold, transported, etc any Marijuana. And they POLYGRAPH test you to make sure you're telling the truth about it! Frankly, I'll never qualify and I don't know if I want to.

    I'm just going to keep looking into going to school. I KNOW I can get the loans, grants, and scholarships needed to make ends meet. And then, with my degree, I'll make enough to support our family AFTER Moire is in school. :)
     
  9. barefoot_kirstyn

    barefoot_kirstyn belly flop

    School would be an awsome plan! There's usually a lot of financial perks if you have a low income family, as well. were you planning on going for the LC? I think u'd be awsome at that! You're so passionate about it!
     
  10. Dakota's Mom

    Dakota's Mom Senior Member

    I would have a problem taking any job where I had to be drug tested. I don't use any drugs, but it's the principle of the thing. Somehow I got by with never having a drug test on my current job. I don't know how it happened but it did. If they had asked I would have refused the job. I also don't think I could work for cops. I hate them pure and simple.

    I hope it works out for you guys. Seems like it's been just one thing after another lately.

    Kathi
     
  11. HippyFreek

    HippyFreek Vintage Member

    Yeah, I know! One thing after a bleeding nother!

    But this latest car accident could put us financially in the green. Our car is a total loss and they are cashing us out. If we can find a cheap enough replacement vehicle, we will have a couple thousand dollars to save...YAY!

    Plus, the lack of funds is just helping to put a flame under my ass and get me motivated to go back to school.
     
  12. Maggie Sugar

    Maggie Sugar Senior Member

    Good idea. Could Brian find something to hold you all over?

    Every Mama has to make her own decion based on what she needs, and what is available, how much her partner can make ect. There is no one right answer. This is a really difficult decision for single moms, with insurance ect.

    Do what you think is best. I did day care and then doula work (no one every drug tested me, but that was a while ago, I know my 20 yr old dd smokes a bit, and she passed her test at a local day care center recently) and then got my own business. THe day care was at first just "baby sitting" then in a day care center, then I did it in my home. Long hours ect, but I was home when my kids needed me, until I burnt out on it. You are good with kids, no? Maybe place an ad in the paper or just ask around. Then you can be with Moira, and still make some bucks. Just make sure if the parents want to claim you on their Income Tax that THEY pay all YOUR income taxes, including FICA and SSI. Usually they give up and don't claim you. :)
     
  13. drumminmama

    drumminmama Super Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

    your 10 yo got a daycare gig?s that a typo?
    In Colo, you have to be 12 to supervise YOURSELF.

    Support Brian in a new job search, but I'd emphasize that you want to be home now, and attend college and he can have his turn after you graduate.
     
  14. Maggie Sugar

    Maggie Sugar Senior Member

    NO, she's TWENTY! (LOL!) I'll change it. (ROTFL, a 10 yr old working and occasionally sparking up, OMG. ;) )
     

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