Words Of Wisdom

I'm sure this isn't the first thread of this kind, but I feel like sharing some free advice today. Feel free to share your own input.

First of all, don't sleep against a window that the sun is shining on in the spring/summer. It will burn your ass.

 

especially if you're not wearing panties....


see posthumous? that's how you do it.

 

you really WOULD be better off putting shoes on your cat.

 

Sunflower seeds are the most time-consuming snack ever.

 

pinon nuts are more time consuming and damned near impossible to eat.

don't buy a fish taco in the desert.

 

fish taco...

No comment.

 

If it aint broke you can fix that

 

duct tape fixes everything.

 

It didn't fix my cat. We had to use something much sharper.

 

and it makes a very poor condom.

 

correction: duct tape doesn't actually fix everything, it's just really really fun to say that and make wallets out of it and giggle at people who really really think duct tape fixes everything, and at people who call it duck tape..

 

Duck tape is a brand of duct tape isn't it?

 

Haha, yeah, Duck Tape is a brand. Their mascot is a gorilla. *nods*

 

I think Gorilla Glue should have a duck as a mascot to get back at them.

 

don't make fun of gorillas. they fling poo. especially if you're wearing reflective sunglasses. *nods sagely*

 

No one was making fun of gorillas. We know of the poo flinging ways of the gorilla.

I'm more concerned about their abilities to pummel me if I teased them.

 

you should learn how to change the channel on your satelite receiver, just in case you should lose your remote and get stuck on a marathon of whose line is it anyway.

 

Right now that would be pointless because we are temporarily using the local cable provider.

But, I will save this post and look at it again in 32 days when we once again have a satellite receiver.

Thank you.

 

you're welcome.

don't order the chicken.

 

you're not truly canadian if you never own something made out of duck tape at some point
duck tape does fix everything..in canada that is...but up here our technologies are fairly primative and therefore the duck tape solves most problems

words of wisdom:
"grab a beer and shut the fuck up"
"smoke this bowl and shut the fuck up"
"shut the fuck up"
"dead hookers are not something to cry over"