Women who touch your chest as casually as if it's your shoulder?

I'm talking about outside the context of flirting when I say this. I believe that just because men don't have breasts shouldn't mean that women should be able to put their hands on their chests. But you see it happen now and then. You mostly get it from older women; often they will do it when when something comes to their mind while talking... something like "oh and I almost forgot...". You know what what I mean? It can be kind of hard to just say "don't touch me".

I remember saying to one woman "if you want to touch me, you can do it to my shoulder". She then said "do you feel violated?". I answered by saying "well is it necessary?". She then of course gave the "I didn't mean to offend" nonsense... she just couldn't take being corrected. I don't care if you didn't mean to offend!

Another time a lady was doing it to my arm as we were talking, and my arms were folded. I eventually unfolded my arms so that she'd stop touching my arm. I knew this particular woman wouldn't go as far as touching my chest.

Have you ever experienced this?

 

I've a dear friend who always hugs me; with a deep, loving, sensual, all-encompassing embrace.
She's also Queer as the proverbial three-dollar bill.
I hug her back. I love her and her full-throttle hugs.

 

Some people are just demonstrative, so it entirely depends on the person, how they have behaved in the past and with other people.
I accept that we have only one part of our body that is out of bounds for friendship, while women have two.
Thinking about it, I had a male friend who always greeted me with a big hug, but it was his normal greeting to everyone he knew well, regardless of gender. You would never believe me if I mentioned his name.

 

Ive never known that to happen of than in flirting where I have been tapped on the chest a few times. For me that just a confidant woman ,

Outside the flirting parameters then its shoulder tapping at worst . But again its a confident woman .

 

That's like saying Trump is confident because he plays handshake battles. For me it's a question of "why is that woman confident around me? and who else is she not confident enough to treat as an object?"

We're talking about chest tapping, which could mean several different things given the context. But it's always best to treat it as if it's a power move, and nip the problem in the bud in case that lady plans on making a habit of it.

Confident or not, if someone is not comfortable with it then they need to let her know her limits. And a lot of people don't know how to do this.

 

Elton John?

 

That was certainly a good guess, I could imagine him giving someone a good hug.
It was Richard Attenborough, who I worked with for 37 years.

 

But isn't our chest 'sort of' out of bounds? I think touching a man's chest is the equivalent of a man putting his hand on a woman's lower back.

 

Don't touch me unless I know you well. That's what I tell people who put their dirty hands on me. They back off and apologize right away.

 

Yes, and I love it when a woman touches my chest or puts her hands on my forearm while we’re talking in a casual gesture of trust

 

Everything needs to be seen in context and would depend on whether I felt singled out. I definitely would be unhappy if she was deliberately touching my nipple area. In other cases and depending on the person, I may not even notice.
It is very hard to honestly answer a hypothetical question. Has a bad experience in the past, possibly in your childhood and prior to the examples that you mentioned made you very sensitive on the subject.?

 

I feel like it's a very "therapist" thing to do; don't ask me why...

It might build my confidence; or at least earlier in my life it might have. Now, I think it would be offensive. I'd recoil in terror.

 

It stands to reason. I suppose I wouldn't have typed the thread otherwise.

 

Why would we not believe that Sir Richard Attenborough would hug you? I found him to be a very warm and welcoming person who had time for everyone he encountered. Him hugging people close to him seems eminently normal.

In relation to OP’s comments and other comments in this thread. Specifically where are you all from and is this a regional expectation?

I would think absolutely nothing off a woman touching my chest or arm. There is no hint of confidence, over-confidence or power involved. I don’t understand why anyone would take offence at that unless they had been previously traumatised or were suffering with an inferiority complex

 

Richard was a lovely person to work with. Sadly, he never recovered from the trauma when three members of his family including his daughter and granddaughter died so tragically.

 

If as you say it's outside the context of flirting then it's absolutely fine by me. Some women are much more confident and relaxed about touching and being touched themselves, it's just innocent body contact after all with no hidden meaning and more about trust and friendship. For me it's just the same as when I meet someone, some ladies kiss on the cheek, some on the lips, some don't kiss, some hug closely, some just hug very briefly. I don't think my chest is out of bounds at all.

 

Molehill and mountain come to mind

 

Please shut the fuck up. You obviously haven't met the sort of people I have, so don't act as if you have.

 

Wow, nice and rude.
I wasn't acting in any particular way, so very judgmental of you.
Surprised anyone wants to go anywhere near you let alone touch you.

 

You gave me advice regarding incidents you didn't witness. Never be that sure of yourself.