Women conflicted about nudism/showing skin

My wife and I were watching an episode of the series “Reacher” last night. A scene called for both of the ladies wearing low cut evening gowns that showed some side boob….but no nudity.

My wife was appalled at this display of flesh. I made no comment about the amount of skin nor my thoughts as to how pretty they looked. Later, when we were naked, getting cozy and doing some fondling….. I questioned why she was so offended by two low cut dresses that didn’t show nipple or even areolas when she has had her tits and pussy seen by hundreds at the beach or club. She just said “That’s different!”

The sex was very good after that bizarre answer.

thoughts?

 

Yea my wife also seems to have a similar double standard. She is fine with nudism but for some reason has a problem with showing too much skin wen clothed.

 

I watched the show and I know exactly what you're talking about.

Some women - especially when raised conservative - draw a very hard line between nudity in a nudist setting, and uninhibitedness anywhere else. I call it "compartmentalization." No matter how much they might feel that social nudity is acceptable in a nudist context, they are hard-wired to react negatively to uninhibited behavior/clothing choices outside of that environment. They feel it's completely different.

My wife was already comfortable with "light clothing" when we met. Going braless/commando in the summer was natural to her. So she's not put off when she sees revealing outfits. It all depends what level of modesty is hard-wired in them.

But yeah, I also find it pretty wild when a nudist woman judges another woman they deem "provocatively dressed"; but then will hang out completely naked and fully exposed around other nudists. But I get how and why the compartmentalize; even if it's not entirely rational.

 

Ok, my thoughts. And I’m not trying to diminish anybody else’s thinking. But what I’m seeing doesn’t make sense to me.

I have to ask… Why is that a bizarre answer?! It sounds as though she sees low-cut gowns showing “side boob” as inappropriate for whatever the venue was being portrayed on the show. I am missing any relevance of your wife’s “tits and pussy seen by hundreds” to a situation she thinks is inappropriate for the amount of skin being shown.

I don’t see her answer as bizarre at all. In one setting her “tits and pussy” are appropriately shown and seen, and in another setting, areolas (not seen) but suggestive body parts of other women are not appropriate to be shown.

Everybody doesn’t feel that way. My wife will point out to me some very daring outfits on women. It bothers neither of us, but not everybody thinks as we do.

You say sex was very good after, but did it have anything to do with the scene portrayed? You leave us clueless. Perhaps you can clarify that.

Double Standard? I don’t think that applies to your wife. A double standard is more allowing one’s own self to do things one doesn’t allow others to do. Your wife is fine with being nude in a nude setting, but doesn’t want to show a lot of skin where she feels is inappropriate.

Again, it seems the wife, as in the first case above, is using appropriateness to the setting as well.

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I don’t think I’d call it compartmentalization. A good description of compartmentalization is what happens when some women to do something they see as morally wrong or would never do on their own. Such as going to a nude beach.

That’s the way it is for many men. That’s the way it was for me. Originally, my wife did not want to go, but, as many women do for their husbands, she went to please me. Being nude in public was abhorrent to her. This compartmentalization was initially how she coped. As time went on, that compartmentalization seems to have disappeared as did her fears. If I were to suddenly disappear, would she continue? I have no idea. Maybe and maybe not. For us, nudity is all about sex and we use it that way. Here is an example. We go separately to the beach. I enjoy my wife talking to other guys. One of our games is when a conversation happens with a guy, the goal is to give him an erection just by talking to him. For us, this would be totally inappropriate in a setting where children are around. But because it IS about sex, we seek out places where there are never any children.

Even in this third post it again is an issue of appropriateness to a specific setting. Just because a women gets nude in one situation doesn’t mean that everything is appropriate for any setting.

I don’t see any unreasonableness, bizarreness, double standard, or compartmentalization here. Just a particular judgment as to appropriateness for a given setting.

Given that we are men who like our wives to be seen nude by other men, we also enjoy inappropriate amounts of skin in just about any setting. I suppose it’s the nature of the beast.

But, consider if it were a guy doing that same thing. What would we say?

Amusingly, what would be our answer to a wife saying my husband’s “cock and balls have been seen by hundreds. Why does he have a problem with a guy wearing no underwear and wearing his pants open to just above his cock (but no sex parts showing) at the park?

And that’s the danger of seeing it from only one side. Or, am I wrong?

 

I think she can’t admit to herself that she enjoys being nude and her body seen/enjoyed by men. Her religious upbringing tells her it’s wrong. But at the same time, she is aroused by being seen. Sex is always great after a nude outing or if during foreplay I talk about attention she’s received at the nude club.

She is always judgmental about other women’s outfits being too short, too lowcut, too tight, etc. I think it’s a secret desire to dress the same way.

I doubt she ever would have done public nudity if it weren’t for my requesting it. In fact, her view of nudists is still prob very harsh. But, I can guarantee you that she finds it sexually stimulating!

 

My wife has often said, “ If I had that body, I’d wear that!” But she usually dresses very modestly, so I kind of think she wouldn’t wear ‘those outfits’, no matter her size, it’s just she’d like to feel free or sexy or liberated enough to wear whatever she wants…

 

Interesting discussion. My ex and I were naturists. While my wife had an understanding that the males at our club, especially when we were new members, were viewing her charms in a sexual way she was also aware that the conventions of the lifestyle required that they mask this prurient interest and present themselves as uninterested. In essence she and they pretended they weren't perving. This was acceptable. Whereas in "normal life" if she wore clothes, that while decent, were a little revealing the interest she attracted from males was undisguised prurient interest and that annoyed her, I don't think it's a double standard as such its just that the standards for both lifestyles are different and people adapt accordingly to fit in.

 

Nudist etiquette. Most commonly found at nudist resorts, where the "penalty" for staring, or making women uncomfortable, can range from ostracization to expulsion.

As a result, there is a strong incentive for men to avert their eyes, maintain eye contact, or keep them moving - no matter how "exposed" women happen to be in any given situation. Exceptions can be made; but usually only amongst acquaintances where trust has been established, or where the distance is so great that the "looking" is barely noticeable.
It might be a bit challenging for men initially, but with enough practice it becomes conditioned. We have some friends at the resort who will interact with me while fully "exposed" (usually reclined on their lounge chair); and I am myself "conditioned" to maintain eye-contact at all times, and at least "appear" that the visibility of their vulva has no effect on me.
Some women embrace that dynamic as it allows them to feel safe in being more comfortable in their nudity. Which is great. One friend was candid about appreciating the fact that she could relax and sprawl out without having to worry about her vulva being the center of attention. My wife too; although to a lesser extent. But I think many others still struggle with it; as their modesty is so ingrained that no matter how it is expressed to them that men are incentivized to not make them uncomfortable, it's not going to move the needle much.

 

I think it is also strange. The idea of nudity being sometimes "appropriate". I understand the idea of not trying to offend others that are not so keen on nudity, but for a nudist to be offended by nudity, now that is just being judgmental.