My wife and I have been together for 6 years, married for 18 months. Our sex life used to be amazing. Atleast twice a day, 6 days a week. Slowed slightly over time,but still atleast 4 times a week. That is until our daughter came along 2 years ago. (She is a handfull and the wife suffers with tiredness more then than I do) Her "desires" sky rocketed when she was pregnant but since daughters birth went to once a month/ six weeks. Improved a little then slowed again as of late. I am at a point where I don't initiate because I don't want to push my luck and offend her, she is to scared to start anything when she does actually want it so we find ourselves walking on egg shells and both frustrated in different ways. We have got to a point where we both realise there is a problem and she needs to see a doctor. I am supportive and never push the issue. Main problem is I am back to having the sex drive of a teenage boy and want to rip her clothes off every time I look at her, while she is slowly getting to a point where she wouldn't actually be bothered about never having sex again. Apart from the 1 random day of lust she gets. Has anyone been through this? Does it get better in time? Does it get worse before it improves? Any tips to move things along?
been there, done that! the tiredness and nil-sex-drive thing. It's easy to say be patient. Things will return. In my case they did - wonderfully. It doesn't always follow that script. To be honest, childbirth can start the breakdown of a relationship. I know of cases where this has happened. Tiredness is the killer. I'm sure you do your bit, but just maybe be aware that a couple of hour's sleep is gold to a tired new mother. try and alleviate that aspect and maybe things will improve. Usually around the age of 2, the children naturally get more used to routine and this will also help that tiredness. however, don't come to a porn site for serious advice - see your GP .... together! Good luck.
That's sad. I hope you two can figure it all out. You say you're both walking on eggshells. That's the worst part. Keep the communication channels open. Talk to her about it. When the toddler is sleeping, just talk to her. Don't try to have sex, just ask her how she's feeling about it and if there is anything you can do to make her feel better, in general, not only about the sex. Let her know you desire her, like you've told us, but that you understand she's tired. Ask her to talk about how she feels, her thoughts. Tell her you're in it together and that you don't want this to become a taboo. The aim is to let her know she can talk to you and come to you for a cuddle, as well as for a talk, as well as for sex, as well as for everything. Within some couples, the woman even avoids all contact with her man, because she thinks every time she'll just touch him, as in kissing, or cuddling, he'll immediately take it as an invitation for sex, but it can be she's too tired for sex and only wants to keep the contact going. Let her know a cuddle can mean just a cuddle. And act on it: a cuddle shouldn't be more than that, unless you really feel she's there for more. At least for a while. I understand you're frustrated. It's just that, sex not happening, the worst that could happen now would be the subject becoming taboo, something you can't talk about together. I hope for you that if you can at least keep touching each other, without that leading to sex, she'll eventually get her libido back. Because when we can relax, we're more sexual... I don't know if that makes sense to you. If you're close, she'll get a sniff of your pheromones. If she's relaxed, she'll have that rush of serotonin... these things together may be the good stuff to ignite her libido. Slowly, but surely. Another idea is to let her see you naked.
Our dear daughter is very much routine driven. She just also happens to be very temperamental so can be energy draining so I am fully understanding of my wife's tiredness. When I can I'll leave her in bed for a few hours. We do house work, school runs and such between us. In fact I do so much that she has accused me of making her lazy lol. I am also very affectionate with her, always have been. We always cuddle on the sofa watching TV when the kids are in bed. But anything more than that it feels like she pulls away. I try to hug her, kiss her but she seems uninterested. She has admitted a few months ago that she does fear that she will lead me on if she's to affectionate. I think if I'm honest that probably hurts more than the lack of sex. There has been 1 occasion that she complained of being in pain with her hip and I felt she was uninterested during sex that I stopped for her to get comfortable and decided to stop completely. She asked if I was going to start again but I just told her to get her pj's back on and go to sleep. She didn't seem happy but I'd rather have nothing than her just lay there and "taking it" seeming uninterested
