Wife's illness and the unknown??

First real post here and let me say from the start I am not good with words and writing. We are a couple in our early 50's and my wife had a brain tumor found in 2015. She did the extraction, radiation and chemo. She seemed to do fairly well with the mental part for what all they done. About 2 years later she went though some mild behavior problems of sneak smoking and sneaking out in the middle of the night to buy cigarettes. She quit smoking in 2013 and after I would catch her she would honestly say she didn't know why she was doing these things. We finally got some cognitive testing done and she was refereed to a psychiatrist. They started her on a low dose med to slow her brain down and it worked and things started getting better. In the last 4 months her brain seems to be unable to make decisions and she has no ability to do a thought process. It is now apparent she has a form of dementia and will need help the rest of her life. Her past memory is good but she just can't think things thru. We are faced with someone being with her most of the time as she has mild panic attacks when left alone for over a hour. We are now trying to find someone to live with us to help out with her and around the house. We have 4 horses and some land I love to take care of. She isn't ready to give up with life and I am not either How or where do you find someone that you can trust to come into your home. We don't have a lot of valuables but would like to keep what we got. There just don't seem to be anyone that wants a carefree life that is honest. Any advise on bringing a person into your home would be greatly appreciated.

 

Your post was so touching.
I am not much help as I live in the UK.
We do have carers for such dilemmas as you face.
We also have a system of police background checks on these carers.
I would imagine you have the same.

Learning a new skill really helps with dementia.
What are her interests?
Never show your concern about her, she will pick up on that.
I could post so much more for you.
Let me see what other posts you receive first.

 

Are there any agencies local? Does your wife have any friends that would help.. you have any?

 

She use to have a lot of friends but after the shock of the brain tumor went away so did the friends. She has about 3 that say they will come and help but always find a excuses to bail out. Most of the home health agencies are very expensive and they do like to steal anything they can. Kind of defeats the purpose of having help when I would have to watch the help. We offered a friend that was going thru some rough times free rent, free food, no bills to pay, have any time of she wanted, work any other job she wanted for vacation money and traveling plus a small salary and she said she couldn't live on that. I just don't know what people want. We have become a country of hate and greed.

 

I am deeply sorry to read this.
I am going to make inquiries for you.
We had a friend with terminal cancer, his sister got him an Au pair from another country.
He has since passed away, so I can ask his sister.
The most trusted and kind lady I have ever met, so I will try my best for you both.
Obviously, if I do find this information, I will PM it privately.
Thoughts and prayers sent.

 

Thank you for your kindness

 

I only wish I lived nearer.
Waiting to hear back about the trusted Au-pair.
Best to go on a vetted person.