Wierdest reasons for not coming into work.

Its actually the 1000th reply.....1001st post

 

I can't come to work because I have to squeeze in an illegal post..

 

I'm in time out for conversing in a game thread

 

Mistaked Gorilla Glue for KY Jelly.

 

Someone stacked pallets outside my doors so I cant open them

 

Someone duct taped me to my bed while I was sleeping.

 

I have to babysit my dog

 

I figured out the secret of the universe and need to write it down before I forget.

 

I just saw myself on Americas most wanted

 

I want to post last before the thread closes.

 

I cant.....today is my eyebrow trimming appointment day

 

I'm still sore from my new ass tat.

 

I fell up the stairs

 

There's a Dukes of Hazard marathon on today.

 

the barometric pressure is too high

 

I can't find my bloomers.....

 

I got up on the wrong side of the bed and got lost....

 

I swallowed a whole bottle of viagra.....

 

going for a ride on the farm....

 

erection harder than a woodpeckers lips....