Wierdest reasons for not coming into work.

A bullet bit me directly in the buttocks.

 

I got a fish hook in my eyeball

 

I yawned too much and my jaw got stuck open. TMJ.

 

I'm hemmoraging profusely at the moment...

 

i got my arm stuck in a postbox

 

My fridgerator is running and I gotta run and catch up with it....

 

my head is on fire

 

Someone tied me up and I can't get loose

 

stuck in a tree

 

i got the toothbrush wedged up my nose

 

my artificial intelligence quit working....;-)

 

'what's work?'

 

My dog swallowed the truck keys....

 

I am the reptilian god Imortalis and ive come to lay my eggs of prophecy

 

my scalp itches

 

my shoes are untied

 

I work for myself so I dont care if Im late

 

I hate getting up early...

 

gotta go to church FIRST!

 

There's a skunk wandering around my house.


... that really happened. =/