Wierdest reasons for not coming into work.

Think of your craziest thing you would say to get out of going to work.

Such as

A family of racoons is hanging out in my front yard and they look like they have rabies

HAVE FUN :conehead:

 

I need to masturbate my cats

 

I don't know, but when I read the title my first thought was flaming diarrhea.
I doubt anyone will have anything to add to that conversation.

 

got to go to my annual cheeseball convention

 

(isn't this mighty similar to 'can't come into work today because..'?)

All my clothes shrank in the wash and the only fitting item left is a pair of polkadot dungarees..

 

because i need to lurk moar ...lulz

 

i'm going to martha's vineyard!

 

a kid is reading me a book.

 

my breath is burning

 

my nipples are sore. really they are.

 

Gotta grow my burns

 

winters coming and Im gonna dig a hole in the back yard and hibernate this one out

 

i stepped in dog poo and don't want to tread it into work's carpet

 

i forgot.

 

i am an ape with a symbiotic relationship to a mushroom who has yet to evolve into the age of conciousness.

 

my bridge across my moat broke i need to repair it

 

I fell and broke a hip

 

work blows.. so screw that!

 

i was hypnotized to relax and not give a flying fuck about anything. then the hypnotist died before he unhypnotized me.

 

my foot broke off in someones ass