i put this in young hippies too but you guys might be able to help me out a little better... can't i ever like the nice guy? it's not fair, there'll be a really great, sweet, guy that likes me but i wont like him. whyyyy?!!! i want to know that exact question. i always want that guy who treats me like dirt and totally ignores me though, i wish i didn't...all i end up doing is moping about how this guy doesn't like me and even if he started to i probably would end up not likeing him anymore anyway because that's how stupid i am. ah, i hate myself. ana was right, i don't give anyone a chance. blah. im a horrible person, no one should like me...im a jerk.
Believe me, as one of the "nice guys" who is good to a woman and treats her with love, respect, kindness, generosity, and understanding, I wonder why the hell women can't figure out that the asshole "bad boy" guys are not worth their attention. To be honest, dreamer, it makes me a bit angry and frustrated that women do what you are saying you do -- go for the guys who treat them like dirt. I'm aware of how good it could be with a girl, but she looks right past me to the guy who's a self-absorbed jerk with his tommy jeans, highlighted haircut, tongue stud, attitude... and acts like an ass toward her, and she eats it up and begs for more. Frankly, women who do what you do are screwing it up for BOTH sides -- the women themselves, and the guys who COULD be with them and be good for/to them. I don't know what the answer is. You're attracted to who you're attracted to. It's kinda hard to change that. If you like chocolate ice cream and hate vanilla, how would you go about changing if you decided it would be more in your interest to like vanilla?? -Jeffrey
It's because you're smelly. Oh love, you know I'm kidding. Please don't be upset. I don't know why you're having problems right now, but I wish you the best of luck along the path of love & light. ~paix et amour~
Why???? Becuase they say you hate yourself and your a horrible person. Maybe your just saying that but words are very powerful. If you don't love yourself, sorry hun, good luck finding a boy that will love you. My first boyfriend was abusive. i didn't love myself and was unconciously seeking out a controlling father figure, because I grew up without a dad. I bet if you thought about it you'd figure out the reasons you have for always picking jerks. It might be alot more simple for you...the thrill of the chase maybe. Maybe you feel, on some level, you can fix them and make them into nicer people. You can't. Don't worry sweetie, you'll learn. You are attracted to who your attracted for reasons. What is behind those reasons? The universe is trying to teach you something here. I wish you the best.
Probably because of the old say.. "You want what you can't have" These guys are a chalenge to you. You dont care he he treats you like crap, but you want to be able to gain the affection from them because he is a chalenge. Those sweet guys that are putting their heart on the line for you dont interest you because it is too easy. Life is ment to be exciting right? So who wants to settle down with the sweet guy, and for that to be it? You wanna have some contraversie in your life.
Because being the "bad boy" usually means you do things your own way. This is taken as being strong, assertive, showing that you're in charge, saying fuck it to other people and proving your dominance. Chicks dig that. It's old-fashioned caveman shit, you're showing yourself to be the Alpha Male, you're cooler and more badass than others. Also more exciting, chicks dig that too. Ready to take chances, spontaneity, able to risk it all and win big. Risk is exciting, especially when you want more excitement and passion in your life. Probably a lot to do with evolution, women want a man who will assert himself and is strong enough to take risks and show others who's boss. It's not all about who's the strongest to be an Alpha Male. Showing that you're the coolest around and ready to do your own thing is a good trait in many ways. Lot's of good studies have been done in this area, it seems that the assertiveness and power angles come into play pretty widely. Can't help millions of years of evolution. The ego is just a surface thing, underneath all that we have vast pools of instinct that are responsible for many of our actions and feelings. A heart and brain disconnect I guess. As you get older things will maybe change, though plenty of older women still end up in the same boat. Reposted from your other thread as it's a bit long now.
yeah, i think it's probably about the chase/the hunt/the challenge. and probably the sexual energy these guys put out (pardon the pun). i had trouble with that as a youngin', too. the black sheep, the misunderstood boys were appealing...the ones who are sexy because they're rebels...hehe
thats not true i have always been attracted to very nice guys but very dominant types of guys...even if they deny this. dominant or alpha type of guys doesnt automaticly imply jerk i like nice guys who are strong.
There's certainly no exclusion from being an Alpha Male simply because you're a good person. Just as being a "bad boy" doesn't mean you're definitely a jerk. There's plenty of overlap, and the most Alpha of all Males are those who are strong, and know when to use that strength, and use that strength to protect and nurture their family and loved ones. That is true Dominance. I'd say those are the most rare of Alpha Males though, an Alpha who is wise and has the right motivation behind his actions. Usually takes time for a young Alpha to learn his way, making mistakes and being in the wrong, messing up, that will teach a good man many things. So you're totally right that being strong and dominant doesn't mean you have to be a jerk. Not at all. Just that is one characteristic that is attractive in the stereotypical bad boy. As is the rebellion aspect to the whole attraction that I didn't get into. Besides the attractiveness of a man who sets his own rules and shows strength in various ways, there's the fact of getting involved with someone who your parents/society says is a dangerous or wrong person for you. But that's pretty widely acknowledged for being the case, so I thought I'd delve into the aspects of strength and dominance that I've read about in various classes.
