Why is there so much fighting here in H. F.

Why has almost everybody here become so confrontational here. We all have opinions that we are entitled to and nobody here has seen it all or done it all. Why can't we just listen to how a person feels about a topic and then give our opinion without bashing the other person or calling them an idiot.
If they say something did or didn't happened or that they don't like or don't like something why is up to us to prove them wrong. Just state your opinion and roll on.
This is supposed to be a place to discuss topics with an open mind and not fight. Is that not what being a hippie was all about.. acceptance?

 

Because the place is about free speech, so people are speaking freely. It's the internet, so we are losing a massive portion of communication in body language and sound, allowing misunderstandings to flourish. Many people often are just trying to engage in decent discussion but they get misunderstood, someone doesn't like their tone etc, and it becomes a slanging match.

It's important not to confuse intelligent discussion with "just letting everyone have their opinion and moving on". If opinions can't be challenged without the person getting all offended and starting a bitter argument, no intelligent discussion can be had beyond "I think this." "Oh. I think this."

I think one of the most important things for internet discssion is to separate yourself from your opinions, and other people from theirs. That way, when an opinion is challenged, it doesn't mean you're attacking a person, and when it is yours, you don't feel offended or threatened. That's key to adult discussion and exploration.

 

Well, first off, despite the name, this place is not frequented by only 'hippies' and even those who do consider themselves that, do not usually agree what it means...

A lot of confrontation happens because some people feel it is okay to express their opinion and that nobody should be able to say anthing that disagrees with it.

When someone does, (as is guarenteed to happen) disagree with their opinion, they take it as a personal attack and attack back...

And then they whine when it gets turned back on them and start making claims that they didn't mean what they originally said they meant.

 

Precisely.

 

Some people have a problem grasping the difference in between discussing an opinion, and attacking a person.

Here is a clue... When you say "You are wrong" that is an attack..

When you say, "I think..." or "my opinion is..." that is a discussion.

 

Well I've never actually told you that you are wrong, Tom, but lets keep this thread tidy for the topic at hand. I addressed what I believe to be the source of our misunderstanding in the other thread.

 

I was speaking about generalities... the fact that it ties into the last thread is just because that is the subject at hand.

As for what you did or didn't do... it's a very silly thing to discuss on a forum where it is still posted...

 

Hardly.

 

People are going to get such a disappointment if they click that link and see how lame the thread becomes after I make the post that offended you so much.

 

Well ok, supposedly

 

I think debating is ok on the forum...I enjoy a good debate on topics I'm familiar with. And a lot of what you see is debating, but like what Fingermouse said, you can't hear tones and see gestures, so things get outta hand because people take things a certain way.

I think, overall, we do respect each others opinions and we usually agree to disagree in the end. The hardest part is when someone gives negative rep over an opinion...I've been neg repped over simple opinions plenty of times because there are a few people who can't handle it.

 

Giving rep (positive or bad) is just as valid of expression of opinion as any other.

Just as hiding (or not hiding) that rep, (good or bad) is another valid expression of opinion.

The only time neg rep bothers me, is when the person is not involved in the thread and the only participation in it they have is giving rep, either good or bad. It comes back to that thing about people feeling they can express their opinion into a 'void'.

 

That is just the piont, we all have opinions and we should be able to accept the fact of it just being someones opinion and they have the right to express it even though it may not be how we feel about the subject. I agree with discussion because that is what this is about.
I don't agree with the attacks, and I know it hard not to take things personally. I am guilty of that myself but I am trying to be better at that. I just wanted to put this thread out there so maybe everybody would try to put a little more thought into what they read and what they write and to remember that everybody has thier own opinion.

 

What gets missed around here a lot is that people love (sometimes not knowingly) to be very passive/aggressive... "I'll be polite when I tell them they are wrong and their opinion doesn't matter, or make a joke out of it"

Most of the time, these comments are let pass by 99% of people...

When they arent just let go, then the poster cries foul and says, well, you should be like everyone else and just let it slide...

Instead of saying, yeah, I shouldn't have said that... they want to 'defend' their position, even though they know they are doing what they falsely claim the other is.

It's part of what we have allowed ourselves to become, and the only way it will change is when people stop allowing it to happen.

 

mega lolz :biggrin:

 

That is very true, Tom, and I do agree with that when it comes to giving rep. But if you made a post saying you love the color red and I reply saying I like blue and you neg rep me, I usually find that to be slightly off balance. And the personal attacks usually come in the neg reps which creates tension throughout the forums.

The only time I'm not open-minded (or trying to be...it can be tough with some opinions) is when people purposely disagree for the sake of starting arguments (trolls).

 

I think the fact that everyone has their own opinion is just a given. It's with what happens beyond that point that the trouble starts i.e with interpretation over the internet etc. Plus there are a few who really are just looking for trouble or who aren't aware of how discussion works.

 

yeah, tom negged me for my opinion about assange a while back. no discussion - just neg repped because i had unwittingly disagreed with him

so i think he's talking out of his ass... how'd i do???? :mickey:

 

I got neg repped for opinion too. I always thought the rep was supposed to reward good usage of the forum and discourage bad, not be used as a tool to fight those who don't agree with you.

 

for what post?