Why is PUSSY used as a bargaining chip?

It seems that in television, film, and everyday life in almost all parts of the world, some women use sex as a bargaining chip to accomplish their goals from within their relationships. Whether it's to have their man take out the trash, buy them a nice gift, clean the storm gutters, or do whatever it is they need taken care of, men are on the short side of the stick, and practically held hostage (sexually).

It seems that society is already more accomdating towards women when it comes to laws, the work place, advertising, and nearly everything else that keeps our economy and society going. So why is there a personal need for some women to influence the one person they share their life with by bribing, taunting, or threatening them with the one thing that's a big part of their relationship? ...I don't get it. And women wonder why some men cheat.

My wife does NOT do this with me. I was just curious to know why some women exhibit this behavior towards men, and why society is so accepting of this - as if it's a joke, but in reality, it breaks up relationships and marriages.

 

If sex is the one thing that's a big part of your relationship, then I think you've already failed.

 

Let me reitterate what I said, this is NOT going on in my life.

But to facilitate your rhetotic, let's just say that most men base their commitment on a variety of things about a women. Sex and attraction being the first thing on their list with everything else falling thereafter - versus women, and the mental stimulation they look for first.

From a man's standpoint, yes, the relationship is sexually driven, but not soley. And for you to think that a man would willingly commit to a relationship knowing that it will be sexless is foolish. Why else would women cut off sex from men if they knew that it didn't work for them effectively? The fact that they do it to men just validates my point.

 

Maybe women aren't as sexually driven in their relationships?
In Psych 101 (my class at least), it's taught that the highest mating prospect for a woman is wealth/power, whereas for men it's sexual attractiveness. A man begging for sex is like a dog doing the same for a treat; the can be used as a positive reinforcement for a certain action, and in this case, it appears that action is servitude to your wife/partner. A wife with a husband that serves her has nearly guaranteed the safety of her young, as the odds of her mate leaving her are cut remarkably (but only if she gives sex regularly; she can still do this as a 'reward' for certain actions of the male that benefit her).

 

Personally, I feel sex is only a bonus of relationships and does not make up a relationship. If you truly are in love with someone, you're not going to leave them for just lack of sex--male or female. That said, I don't know why women use this as a bargaining chip, outside of a messed up society that tells them they need to in order to get what they want. If sex is the only thing keeping a relationship together, it's doomed to collapse anyway. Compromises should be able to be made without playing stupid games, especially if in a real, serious relationship, I think.

 

Lunar, I agree with you on most all, except one point. We are, are our core, all sexual beings, and to deny the importance of that in a relationship is to deny part of our own humanity. So I respectfully disagree that it's a 'bonus' and instead insist that it is a part of the relationship. Not the whole of it, mind, just as communication isn't. When the relationship 'consists of discussing its existence' then that's just as unhealthy as a nonsexual relationship, or a relationship without nonsexual touch, or communication, or compassion.

But, and this is the but...different people have different needs for their relationship health, and people aren't being honest about the type of relationship that they want, need, and that makes them happy.

That being said, if pussy's going to be used as a bargaining chip in a relationship, especially to behavior train me, (which is the most often use I've seen it put towards) Then use it for positive reinforcement, ladies. Seriously. Taking it away only makes men feel useless and devalued, as we're basically taught from the time that we draw first breath that we 'need' to be desired, wanted, and sexually ....useful, I suppose you could say, or else we're an utter failure as a man. I think it's stupid, and I'm aware of the programming, and it still sneaks up on me, even. It sucks horribly to feel that you're not wanted anymore, or not desired anymore, because you feel...puny. Diminished. Worthless, and worth less.

What I mean by positive reinforcement is just that, when he does something good, make him feel good. Do it right, and he'll be looking for things to paint, spackle and wash. And not to mention, if guys are happy, aren't they a hell of a lot easier to deal with?

Guys, honestly, if you knew that it got your girl hot to take out the trash and scrub down the counters, or that your socks went into the hamper, I can bet you'd look around to make sure there wasn't a sock on the floor, the beer cans'd be sitting in the recycler, and the counters would be clean enough to do surgery off of, wouldn't they?

But honestly, don't 'take it away' to punish us. Punishment doesn't work for anyone with an IQ higher than that of a housecat, it only breeds resentment.

If you want us to do things...let us know what particular action to take. We're very action oriented. Even expressing emotions are ok for us, if we can make them into an action. It's how we think, and how we understand. If you tell us, 'thanks for taking out the trash' that doesn't 'register', but if we take out the trash and you kiss us like you haven't seen us for a year or two, we get the hint. It might take a couple of times, but we eventually make the connection of 'she appreciates this, and she shows it. I like this. Ok, trash goes out.'

The down side is, if we dont' feel that we're being appreciated (yeah, we can feel it too, ladies) we get lazy. We figure 'why bother, she doesn't care anyway'. If any guys want to say something different, They're entitled, but this is me and the guys I know. We need to see the action of appreciation, while you girls seem to get yours from the thought of being thought about, or being appreciated that way. When we wash your car, or cook you dinner, or 'do' something nice for you, it's not because we're trying to buy you off. It's us speaking a differnt language, and it's our way of saying 'we like you, and we appreciate you'. Even staying put during an argument for as long as we can stand it, or walking away when we can't is an action that says we care. Staying put, because we want you to know we care that your'e upset, even if we have no clue why, and walking away, because we're upset, and we don't want to turn into bastards on you.

I've rambled a bit, sorry for that. I think, though, that maybe we, as enlightened men and women, should discuss our own methods of communication. What we focus on, etc. And if anyone here thinks I'm full of it, you're welcome to say, just don't be nasty about it.

 

This is not a new concept and the ancient Greeks had a play Lysistrata.

From Wikipedia:
Led by the title character, Lysistrata, the story's female characters barricade the public funds building and withhold sex from their husbands to end the Peloponnesian War and secure peace. In doing so, Lysistrata engages the support of women from Sparta, Boeotia, and Corinth. All of the other women are first against Lysistrata's suggestion to withhold sex. Finally, they agree to swearing an oath of allegiance ...

I think a lot of it is perpetuated by media and entertainment. I get tired of the clichéd images of sex-role assignment that our mainstream culture takes for granted, and I'm sure Lysistrata would be as novel a concept today as it was millennia past.

As for me, I have never had to beg for sex. Sometimes my wife was not in the mood, and I respected that (OK, just a little begging to see if she was serious ) but she never did it to extract anything out of me. There were even a few times she would be all over me and I was not in the mood. After years of marriage you can't always be synchronous.

I like to think that ours was a normal relationship in this way and that the stuff you see on TV is the over-the-top parody.

 

agreed, Shale. Things don't always hit on the same schedule, but any 'headache' that lasts 6 months is a problem that needs a trip to the doctor.

 

Its foolish to think that men would be in a relationship if he wasnt getting any from the girl? If my relationship with my husband was sexually driven, it wouldnt be much of a relationship - same goes for any other couple.
Fucker ideas like that are the ones that give the rest of guys such a bad name.

And, from another point of view:

If a woman is having actual problems with her partner, she most likely doesnt want to fuck him until things are sorted out. NOT so she can get jewelry, or have him take the fucking trash out. Think about it. In other cases, perhaps your right, but dont jump to the conclusion that any time a guy isnt getting fucked its because his woman is being unfair to him or something.

 

You're right. But that is why married couples have a high rate of infidelity (and later divorce). The simple fact is that if a man isn't enjoying the sex he has a high chance of fucking some other girl on the side. Women are no exception either.

Despite how people like to romanticize relationships, sex is a large role in relationships for most people. Research has shown countless times that people who have more sex (read: good sex) translates into happier relationships.

That said, pussy has always been used as a bargaining tool. Thankfully no girl pulls that shit on me to do favors for them because I have plenty of places to go, so to speak

 

I agree with you completely!

I understand sex is a major part of life (it is the reason for our existance, after all), and I do realize men are usually more sexually driven than women. I was just commenting that relationships should be based on more than that, and a man shouldn't leave a woman for just lack of sex, while a woman shouldn't use that as a tool (doing so makes her seem really cheap and unable to make compromises maturely). Men do leave woman for that reason, and I am not denying that. I just think those who do really did not have much of a relationship in the first place because they could not find any other reason to stay outside of the sex. Also, if there is lack of sex in a relationship, there must be a problem that the two partners aren't discussing and working through. A lot of men (not just men either, but women also) just up and leave without trying to figure out what went wrong.

 

I'd like to think of myself as a complete sociopath, and for me to leave someone because they consider themselves the end-all-be-all answer to my sexual needs is foolish to believe, or any man for that matter. As long as men know that there are many options out there, there are very few to no women out there that can control us sexually.

The beauty about the male psyche is that there are so many things that turn us on sexually. And as long as we have that variety, a woman with the sweetest pussy can never persuade us to think otherwise.

I encourage talking things over between couples, but if things remain the same after so many attempts to compromise (which is a who different topic), then both parties should go their own way.

As for compromising, no two people should "compromise" in a relationship... The word "compromise" is essentially telling that individual to change themselves for someone else. And if two people are right for each other, then that word shouldn't even be in the relationship.

 

There are situations as equal w/ sexual contact ,sex is the greatest reinforcement stimi known to exist, cocain #2. A female who could see into the heart & soul of all that i am, then relate to me how to see HER, could be Helen of Troy. Like a dog in heat....... i would stray if our copulation left me hungry.
As it is, i havent had a date in 27 / 28 years....Thou hast made him more deep damed than Lucifer....and branded twice the fiend of hell.... pussy, twat , snatch-****, etc, is The GOLD standard.Maybe someday i ll try again.
Any females spook n this out, the terms applyed to your priceless treasure, are terms of endearment....if memory serves me correct. Lunarflowermadien , everyone has a price, that baby cakes is a fact. Relationships that are not sexually filling ,change n-smooth to grind n ,are either short lived or its an open door thang.

 

..... :/ whores! anyone who uses pussy to get what they want are floozies

 

use what you got!

obviously using pussy applies (mostly) to hot chicks because plumpers couldn't use their pussy to their advantage....

 

If "Paris is well worth a mass," as Henry of Navarre said, a piece of ass is worth carrying out the trash. I can't wait to show your comment to my "floozy."

 

If they were squirters, then they could...At least with me that is.

 

ha! you crack me up profezzor

 

Pussy and Penis...

Like peanut butter and chocolate... Both taste good separately or together.

 

What do you mean by that, exactly?

As long as men know that they can get fucked somewhere else other than their partner? If thats in fact what you mean, your a pig. If i withheld sex from my husband because we were having an arguement and i didnt feel like doing it, that wouldnt be 'controlling him sexually'. Its called keeping it in your pants for a day. And as for other options, nothing justifies finding some other gals pussy in a monogamous relationship.

And that second bolded area is pure idiocy. No two people are exactly alike, that doenst mean they arent right for eachother. One person wants one thing while his or her partner wants another, one person may draw the line at a different area than the other. If that isnt respected by your parnter, then you have a problem. If people never compromised, the world would be more selfish than it already is - and thats saying alot.