Why does a woman waste her time,

^ self-confidence = opening strangers eh.

EVERY time? It gets annoying quick.

but okay. I'll lay it on me for not pulling the trigger, breaking the ice, being the better conversationalist and everything else.

Everyone wants to talk to anyone they find attractive and vice/versa. Doesn't really matter how. If more people were honest, they'd tell you they don't mind a "direct approach," too. A hello isn't really a direct approach imo. Specially at a party or drink place.

If you agree'd showing too much interest is bad then...why... force me to show all the interest. :sunny:

This is why it really should've never been a gender thing. When you make friends with someone, do you count who goes up to who first?


Telemarketing for love. Something women don't understand or won't admit is what they're leaving men with. :daisy:

 

If you have rigid expectations before you have even met a woman, you're going to be very unhappy. You're also grouping all women into one blob, blaming each new one for things the others did.

Women are all individual people. Just like men.

For the record, you sound like a serial killer. Chill out. Take a break. Why are you in such a hurry to meet women? If it's about sex, go rent one.

 

You actually do sound a bit like a serial killer or a rapist, like you think women owe you something.

 

"Why do women waste their time while they could spend it with me!? I know they want to because when I am peeping in the bar at them they also glimpse (very angry and subtile unfortunately) at me. Sometimes they even stand in front of me! It's clear what they want."

 

I prefer direct, but subtle is the way it's done mostly. For both genders, it's just a safer method because if there is rejection it is subtle as well, and not thrown in the face.

 

Sometimes I have seen women acting the way kokujin is talking about.
Its interesting to watch this chemistry working between the two people.

What I observe is- Women are more interested in their own reflections-- which they get from men. (just like watching into the mirror)

men usually misunderstand this as interest in them- as a person. (Or as an invitation)

And his question is - why not direct invitation? and the answer is- Its not an invitation at all.

Am I right?

 

LOL fuck you and oh please. I write a method/common place that I don't agree with and I'm labeled a serial killer. :2thumbsup:


Ya I'll be keeping the rest of it to myself. I believe I wrote 35% in my OP, so it's funny I'm getting ganganged for saying all women. I had one directly approach me that same night, so yes I realize it's not 100%


but she was definitely the exception.

"If you're interested in me, come up and just say 'hi,' don't prance around in "not so subtle ways" for me to open you" = women owe me something?

Go open your eyes and learn to take criticism, which wasn't even directed directly at you without calling people rapists and killers.

 

Yes, it counts for SOME women. And your interpretation seems plausible to me. I have observed similar behaviour. Also, men that check the ladies out in the bar fool themselves easily, but from my observations those guys are usually the player type. They like to kid themselves so they can boost their confidence so it seems. Yes all gender statements in this thread including mine are (at least partly) generalisations.

 

i am guessing this was a crowded bar//party and the poor girl had no where else to stand

 

What exactly are we talking about here?

I've never had a problem starting a conversation with anyone. It seems like you do.
Starting a conversation with someone isn't the same as flirting.
Making friends with someone isn't the same either.

When it comes to flirting there is a social norm. Whether you agree with it or not is irrelevant, because most man do. You don't have a sign on your forehead stating that you are different from them, so you get the same treatment as everybody else.
The girls that are 'wasting their time' as you say, are only conforming to that norm. Why? Because they go by their past experience.

Can you dispute that most man like to initiate the 'conversation' with a woman?

The other option is that women don't find you attractive enough to talk to you.

 

who even said women were subtly?

maybe once perhaps

but the laws of dating have changed.

women prowl bro..

 

anyways stop being so good looking

you're ruining the confidence of women everywhere.

 

maybe op cant tell between 'innocent' firting and 'wanna fuckme' flirting

huge difference there

 

There is a third option: kokujin and the women he's talking about BOTH think the same .. Or: they both have problems starting a friendly conversation because of expectations. I definately think expectations ruin a lot in general. Why make all these threads and convictions about women that have a problem with starting a conversation while you seem (I don't know you or your happenings well at all of course) to have the same problem?

 

Remember, it takes 2, two, toi, dous, to play a game. You don't like it, don't play it.

 

Probably mistake you for a regular human.

 

You've illustrated throughout various threads that you have the attitude of, if a girl so much as glances at me she needs to come hit on me or she's a bitchy **** with the personality of a wet dish rag.

Not saying you are a rapist but rapists probably share a similar mentality.

It just blows my mind that you've never once thought that maybe you're the reason you aren't getting laid. You seem to place all the blame on the opposite gender.

 

I could see myself doing something like that. Get into his line of sight and see if I catch him looking at me. Because if he doesn't even notice me he's definitely not interested. But I wouldn't avoid speaking to him.

So like maybe she was interested and being coy or shy or testing you or afraid of rejection. But why does it upset you? Human interaction is delicate and flawed and spoiled by ego and insecurity. This is just a part of life. There is no point in allowing it to upset you.

 

OP is getting a hard time in this thread but I understand with him and agree completely that this is a really annoying phenomenon.

A lot of you misunderstood what he's talking about. Let me try and clarify:

A girl is interested in a boy. Instead of getting the nerve to go up to him and start a conversation, she will spend TEN MILLION TIMES MORE ENERGY getting in his field of vision, or beside him, tossing her hair, sighing, looking at him cutely, showing butt/boobs, whatever. You can't tell me you guys have not ever experienced this. I experience this DAILY at college. The annoying aspect of this phenomenon is that it puts the burden of who has to go out on a limb on the guy, even though it's the GIRL who is the one who is interested!

The lengths that some women will go through to "get a guy to talk to them" is astounding! And no, them saying "hello" to the guy won't cut it, because really what they want is to be chased by the guy. They want the guy to hit on them, maybe their friends are nearby, they wanna look like hot shit being picked up by this dude they just innocently sat down beside and started tossing their hair in his face.

OP: When a girl does this hardcore, I do everything in my power to avoid meeting her. I spend all my energy on denying and rejecting her passive chase game. It means she has strong gender stereotypes, it means she's the kind of girl who cares about "game", it means a whole bunch of really bad things about her personality in my opinion, which means i'm not interested. go sit down next to that gelled up gym guido sweety, i'm sure he will sweet talk you and buy you a drink like you want, (just so you can maybe act like youre SO not interested).

This is really annoying for me in particular because I have social anxiety and these dynamics place a lot of pressure on ME to be the one to break through my natural introversion to start the conversation . . . but she's the one that wants it . . . just say "hey, how are you?" next time ladies

 

Damn, this sounds at least as frustrated as the OP. I guess (and hope) it was just a figure of speech and you mean spend all your energy having fun while ignoring her at the same time