Hey everyone, I'm a male, freshman in college and so far I've been unsucesfull with girls all year. It's not that I don't know how to talk to girls and stuff, I always seem to get to a certain point throughout the night at a party or whatever with a girl, and I just can't take it to the next level sexually. Friday there was a beautiful girl that I was talking to and seemingly hitting it off with, she was complimenting me a bunch and seemed to like me. I just don't know what to do to take it to the next level ie.) how/when/where to start making out and possibly take it further. So Friday this girl left the party and I left with blue balls like always. Saturday was even more pathetic, I was hitting it off with another girl at a party and eventually even got her to come back to my dorm. Even though we were both pretty drunk I failed yet again and got no action. We talked for a long time in my room, watched a movie and then she left. I think I just need to be more assertive, I get it stuck in my head that I don't want to come off as creepy or whatever so I psych myself out of making the first move. Some advice for how to stop being a pussy and just make my move would be real appreciated
come off as creepy. worst case scenario: she'll leave and you won't have sex, and you'll be exactly where you are now.
You guys are being mean. @OP, I think you've identified your own problem, you're scared and over analyzing the situation because the "sexual harassment talks you got in high school" have made you paranoid, and it's creating a mixed signal to the girl of what exactly you want from her. (In some cases she may be mentally pissed you wound her up and aren't getting physical with her, aka: the equivalent of guys getting blue balls) If a girl likes you, I've found that body language wise she's just more open to you and willing to continue the conversation your having and she'll give you lots of eye contact. The only things you should worry about are the following: 1. A girl's age (make sure she's legal, unless you wanna risk jailbait) 2. If she says stop or no during a sexual activity, stop and ask what's wrong. 3. If you can get her to say "yes" to a sex act, do so in a smooth way that flows with the whole mood your trying to put her in. 4. Protection from STD's and pregnancies.
if you had the girl back to your dorm room, you already took care of the hard part. An easy way to initiate sexual contact i've found, which works especially well if you are already watching a movie, is a kiss on the back of the neck. This also works really well if you're giving her a back rub, and who doesn't like a back rub? The thing i really dig about the kiss on the back of the neck, is she can easily reject it by just doing nothing, she doesn't have to push you away or back out. as far as being concerned about coming off as a creep, don't worry about it. I'm a senior in college and i've definitely creeped on my fair share, but a suprising majority dug the over assertiveness. And the ones that didn't were either too drunk to care the next day, or i haven't seen her again. . . both of which negate any long term consequences of trying to have a good time
You sound like a sweety But honestly who goes back to your room just to watch a movie or talk?? if i agreed to go with a guy who i just met to his room, i will expect sex...be a bit more assertive. Coming across creepy? hehehehe for all the creeps i have met i secretly wish i could fuck
Thanks for the replies. So what do you guys do when you're talking to a girl at a party or whatever, and want to start making out? Do you straight up ask something like "do you want to go upstairs"? or just go for it while you're around a bunch of people?
Hmmm it can vary, you kinda have to read what the girl in question is comfortable with in terms of public displays of affection. Personally the safest bet is to ask them if they wanna go somewhere private, you've already done this by getting a couple girls in your room. From there it's less of what you say and more non-verbal communication, watch a movie put your arm around her, basically lead her and give her a sense of what direction you want out of your time together. I personally really like eye contact, but it can be to intense for some girls and can freak them out. It also doesn't hurt to ask "Can I kiss you?"
