ok...so I'm in a serious monogamous relationship and I'm very happy, but there is one problem. I know that my boyfriend and I will eventually get married and have a family, but we have to wait until he's out of school and that is a few years away. And so right now we use birth control. But here's my problem...even though I know we should wait...I am obsessed with wanting to have a baby. Its starting to cause problems with our sex life because I feel kinda depressed when we have sex because I know I won't get pregnant. So I don't get as turned on as I used to. In my mind I know we should wait, but my body is screaming out to get pregnant. Its like this uncontrollable urge. And Its really bothering me. I don't like feeling this way because I know why we should wait and I want to just enjoy my relationship, but I can't help but want to have a baby. I wish I could just not think about it, but I just keep thinking about it. I don't want to ruin my relationship by being obsessed about this. I haven't talked to my boyfriend about this because I don't want to upset him. I think he'd understand, but it might make things awkward. Has anyone else had this problem? Does anyone have any advice for me?
First thing is... You want to get married and have a family with him, but you dont even talk to him about things as big as this?
I guess I should have clarified this...I will talk to him about it...we do talk about everything. I just wanted some advice. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I want to think about it a lot and figure out how to best talk to him about it. And see how other people have dealt with these kinds of feelings. And besides that...think about it this way...what if your girlfriend came to you and told you she was feeling that way. How would you respond? How would you handle that?
Now that is a tough one. I do understand how you feel. I think that it is normal to have those urges. Judging by what you said about your boyfriend being in school I'm guessing you're pretty young. A few hundred years ago us young women would already be married with children. So it is perfectly natural to have those urges. So don't get down on yourself about it. The advice I can give is this...you say you know you should wait...well try writing down all the reasons for that. Think about that possible baby and what would be best for it. And when you start feeling that way refer back to that list. As for talking to your boyfriend about it...that will definitly test your relationship. If he can understand how you're feeling and not get freaked out by it then I would think he's a pretty good guy. And if the two of you can work through it together then that shows the strength of your relationship. And remember that other people have the same feelings. I've been struggling with those urges myself in the past few years. But for me its been more of a general thing, not with one person. And I just try to remember the reasons why I should wait until I'm older. Use your inner strength. You can do it! And before you know it you'll be like 40 and wondering where the time went. lol!
