Why do guys cheat?

Ok like not all guys cheat, I know this, but I also know a fair amount of guys, all around the same age (in their early 20's) who all have gf's and also have a couple of other girls on the side. (these guys all know eachother aswell, they all play in the same Rugby team etc). Is this like a sort of last minute fling before they have to settle down or something?
One of the guys I mentioned i've kinda been messing around with and it stuns me at how he really has no remorse for cheating on his gf of what I think is a couple of years what so ever, no guilt at all. I know I shouldnt be messing around with him, in fact its damn wrong and immoral, I know this, but their problems obviously have nothing to do with me. Anyway, why? they say that 60% of people cheat on the love of their life...

I mean if I was to cheat on my partner, it would be because my needs werent being met, but if I was with the love of my life I dont think i'd ever really cheat on them anyway, and besides, I would have talked about my needs to my partner anyway, and then if it still didnt work out, breakup with them. I dont think I could ever cheat on someone I loved. That why I dont get why these guys do it so free of guilt.

 

i cheated on my first love. I regret it every second of every day. I know the reason i did was because i was horny in a place wit a slutty chick. God man i fucking hate myself for it and im still really really good friends with her but it wont be the same again i fucking hate it. The reason ( i think ) that guys cheat is because either they dont think ahead, and they dont follow there heart and head, they follow their cock.
This happened 2 years ago and i think about it everyday and what things could have been if i hadnt of done that. sorry if it seems like im rambling on but im just depressed about it.

 

The answer to the question "why do guys cheat?" is the same answer to the question "why do girls cheat?".

The problem is, people are just uncaring, immoral assholes. And there really isn't much you can do to change that.

Believe me, I've tried. Just finding someone that isn't an asshole is a job that's taller than Mount Everest.

 

yeahh the question definately is not why do guys cheat. I have never cheated on a girl, but i have been cheated on ymany times. The question is like Hikaru was saying, why does anyone cheat? I really am not trying to offend you when i say this, but why even ask the question when you are contributing to the problem?...again, i am not trying to be mean to you, because i am sure you are an awesome person. I just think that maybe you should think about that.

 

RE:
I mean if I was to cheat on my partner, it would be because my needs werent being met,

So if you or any other woman cheats, it's his fault (for not meeting your "needs"). Whereas if a man cheats, it's also his fault. Right?

 

whoever came up with the word "cheat" to describe the back-up men (may) need from time to time ..

let's see ..how many days pms'in ? the before and after effects ? the mood swings, headaches, shoppin days, girls night out and the days when its just not a good day - maybe not enough compliments about how you've not put on weight et al ?

yea alright ..men could be called horny bastards if that helps you understand us better, but the fact of the matter is - we don't have any of those days and it generally does not take us hours to get turned on - no candles or bubbly baths n shit ..ever-ready and could do between breaks too

how do you address the imbalance ..?

 

write your congressman to keep glory holes legal

 

hahaah omfg i about died when i got to your comment...

 

i think it was the smartest statement of the whole thread.

anway, since the OP would cheat if her needs weren't being met, perhaps that's at least one answer to her own question.

 

lol. you're a winner...lol.

 

Wow

Hey, I've NEVER cheated, not even a kiss, but I think that occationally there are some urges that come over our bodies that our brains can't contain.

I hope you don't expect me to believe that all cheaters are just uncaring, immoral assholes.

 

i think it's a matter of poor planning for even the best of people. no one is perfect. i know that in the right (or worst) circumstances, i would probably be weak. therefore i work very hard not to end up in those circumstances and thus far have done very well. but there are those who just really don't give a flying fuck. those are the uncaring immoral assholes.

 

now now, why would anyone call them poor souls things like uncarin immorals assholes. its just, very,

insensitive

 

I think there are many reasons why one cheats. For men who have been in long term relationships, it appears to me that usually they are looking for an ego fix. Their long term wife or gf has made them feel insecure, due to they know his best and worse, successes and failures, and probably bitchs about it, so they go looking for confirmation that they are still desirable. The thing is, these women they hook up with don't know the man like his wife/gf, so it's not really accomplishing anything other than a quick fix. It's a fantasy! I saw a talk show that was about this topic and all the men said that it's not the wife's/gf's fault, that these women who they have affairs with make them feel good about themselves. The problem is, anytime someone turns outside of the relationship in order to feel good about themselves instead of turning to their loved one to try to fix their problems, the relationship will, more than likely, fail.

I also think some people just do not have respect for others. Their morals are nonexistant. Others like the excitement of secrecy. Some do it to get back at their loved one for something they did to hurt them. Others think the grass is greener on the other side.

I don't like to play games with my love. We have been together over 9 years and I just about lost him to someone he met online. I know it was both of our faults. It has been a trying time for us, but we are ok now. Thank God! I have felt like I couldn't breath for the last several months. I started have panic attacks from all this turmoil we have been thru. We have made a lot of progress and I am finally starting to feel like we have a future again. Much of our problem has been finances, the number 1 reason couples fight. Going thru this has made me a better person. I've had to rely on prayer and faith, which is the lesson I've gotten from this mess. It's still hard tho, because it still hurts. I hope in time that pain will go away.

I really am too old to have anything to say regarding young people who are just getting out in the world and why they cheat. I have never dated alot in my life. I did cheat on my first boyfriend when I was 19. Looking back, I guess I cheated on him because the grass looked greener. Boy, was I wrong. Only good thing to come from that was my son. 14 years of misery and abuse.

I think some people cheat to find a replacement for the wife/gf because it's easier and more exciting to start a new relationship than work on the one they already have. To start fresh may sound good to some.

All of this is just my lil' ole' opinion and hope I didn't bore you to death.

PEACE!

 

I dont know exactly what to tell you. Some guys are just assholes. In my opinion if you are tired of being with someone, or you just are gettin what you need out of the relationship than you should break up with that person instead of cheating and causing more hard feelings. I can tell you from experience, things will get better. I have been cheated on and I know how bad it hurts. I suspected my last boyfriend of cheating...thought I never really found out what truly happened...still...

Just find someone that makes you happy and go with it. Things will get better and life moves on...

 

I know a lot of men around that age (early 20s) and almost every one, even the ones with girlfriends, are sleeping with a different girl every few weeks...I think men that age are, in general, still building on their egos, and a lot feel need to have many girls just to feel like a man. I also heard something about how the very basest male instinct is to impregnate as many attractive women as possible, and it takes some time to learn to control this urge. Whether or not that was just scientist bullcrap i dont know. What i do know is, youre right-finding a man that age who is willing to settle with just one partner is bloody difficult...

Im sure theyre out there, but i havent met many of them. I think the problem is rarer among older men. As for women who cheat-i really dont understand them. I either want one stable partner or nothing at all. And im only 17!

Love-Maxi.Xx

 

the concept of "safety net" was a brainchild of your species ..

 

Both men and women cheat.

 

Some people just have odd mindsets. I was involved with a guy who was cheating on his girlfriend on and off for 2 years and I admit completely that I was just as wrong as he was (once he let me know that I was not the only one, that is), and I've been terribly angry at him on and off, but I've realized he does it because he feels it's okay. It's not, but he's made it okay in his mind. He loves her, but he's just not in love with her, and he's made up for that fact by seeing girls behind her back. He somehow thinks that it would hurt her more to break up with her than to have her find out. I definitely don't agree with his actions or his frame of mind, but I also know that just because he's a "cheater" doesn't make him a horrible person. He's just got a warped way of thinking.

I, myself, have been cheated on twice. The first one did it because he thought I was cheating on him. So, I suppose lack of trust could be one reason. The second one fell in love with my best friend and decided to begin a relationship with her while cutting of his relationship with me. I didn't find out about either until years afterwards, but it still hurts. I think ultimately, the biggest reason people cheat, is because they don't take into consideration how their partner would feel. It's a very selfish act and it usually ends up hurting everyone involved.

 

I don't think cheating is the end of the world. It's bad, but realistically, I've been cheated on at least twice, and most likely several more times. People who were, and still are, very close to me. I've never cheated on one of my gfs, but that's only cause I'm too nice to hurt them. I did, however, sleep with one of my good friends gfs....she really wanted it.....i was drunk.....and i was a 19 year-old frustrated virgin. I regret it all the time, but mostly becuase he never found out and I never told him. I feel bad about that. But he's too childish to be able to handle something like that, and they were only together for a week, and she broke up with him in the morning.

My girlfriend several years ago, I'm almost positive cheated on me with my best friend. Never knew for sure, but lines were definately crossed. I broke up with her, and she hooked up with him 10 minutes later. But, they've been together for 5 years now and are a great couple, and I wish them all the best. They're still my best friends, casue I'd never let something like a girl come between friends. But it just goes to show you have to be on your guard.

Anyway, I'd say out of 10 close friends that I have, maybe 2 have never cheated on anyone. It's just sex. Doesn't have anything to do with love until you actually find your love.