Why am I feeling this already?

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by Masoumeh, May 31, 2007.

  1. Masoumeh

    Masoumeh Member

    I am in a new relationship and the person I am with is not as romantic as I am used to, but he is very nice and I do really like him. I just wish he would open up a ttle more, get over his fear of saying I love you, send me after sex flowers all those things I am used to and feel unloved about if they don't happen.
    The above never bothered me because I know he's a nice guy and I have liked him for a long time and never told him. But today that changed when I found his ex girlfriend stalking him on the itnernet and I suddenly became insecure. I was looking at her profile because she has really interesting pictures of her clothes. While I was looking I noticed she was on one of his threads so I stayed on her profile out of curiousity and noticed she was looking at threads he made years ago!!! Now I feel apathetic and blah and like I wanna go drinking with my girlfriends and forget that I am in love and in a relationship because it's way easier than this feeling I have now, but I know that's not the right thing to do. I just don't know what to do. Well I know I should forget about it and continue being pleasant to him because he is the way he is (which is wonderful in most ways) and it's not his fault he has a psychotic ex, but the immature side of me is saying I don't need heartache again in my life and he is not doing enough to reassure me it's not going to happen and that he's crazy about me. But then rationally speaking I am really high matience and I know this and know that it will cause problems if I let this out. arghhhh I am just frustrated and need advice ):
     
  2. rasprophecy

    rasprophecy Member

    maybe you should take things a little slower, why fall in love so quickly? If the love is there then its there, no rush it aint goin no where... how long have you known dude?
     
  3. Masoumeh

    Masoumeh Member

    You're right I really need to chill out. He is a very nice guy and I am subconciously sabotaging (I am an awful speller!) things because I am afraid. I hate that I test people in the begining. I absolutley hate it and promised myself I wouldn't do it in my next relationship...and here i am doing it already. I'm going to go get a drink with my girlfriend come home and try to go to bed early. My dogs have been kicking me at night so I haven't been sleeping too well and think that is why I am acting like this too.

    I am really being irrational and feel awful. he doesn't deserve this and I don't deserve to make myself feel this way and trip over nothing.
    I'm going to step back and let him decide how this is going to work. He is a great guy and there is no reason i need to fight for control in the relationship. I don't even want control. I have no idea why I am this difficult.
     
  4. Allonym

    Allonym cheesecake slut

    .... after sex flowers? if youre going to demand/expect material things for sex, wouldnt you want somethign with resale value?
    anyway
    why are you letting his ex define youre relationship with him? hell, why are you letting the ex affect you at all when you havent interacted with her face to face? when he hasnt introduced you to her? why not just ignore her existence as much as humanly possible?
     
  5. mlee27

    mlee27 Member

    high maintaneance meaning in a monetary way or an emotional way????love begins in the heart not the wallet first off and second you have al theses feelings and questions why not try talking to your boyfriend about it
     
  6. Kaid

    Kaid Member

    What did you get him as an after sex present? Wow, anyway it sounds like you are creating the drama by spying on his ex. Get over the insecurities at least until something bad happens for real.
     
  7. Masoumeh

    Masoumeh Member

    completley emotional. I have a pretty decent job for my age, especially in my field and really don't need anything material from guys. Of course I don't think I would ever pick up the check at dinner, because I just wasn't raised like that, but I think I give in a relationship more than most women.
     
  8. Masoumeh

    Masoumeh Member

    Head :D

    How did this turn into I said I expect after sex presents? That is just freaking absurd. All I said is that in most of my relationships guys always sent me flowers after our first time together. Sex is really important to me. The guy I was with is only my 3rd...well 4th if you want to get technical. I'm letting someone inside of my body...he should make it clear afterwards that he knows how speacial that was for me and that it was special to him too.

     
  9. mlee27

    mlee27 Member

    BOY , if everyone lived by how they were raised there would be so many more problems in this world. my mother was raissed being beaten and molested thank god she didn't live her life by how she was raised.lucky for me
     
  10. crummyrummy

    crummyrummy Brew Your Own Beer Lifetime Supporter

  11. SILVERWOLF_87

    SILVERWOLF_87 Member

    High maintenance indeed...
     

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