Why 30+ Year Age Differences?

Out of my five gay friends and coworkers that I am close enough to know this sort of thing, two of them are dating men that are 30 to 35 years older than they are. My neighbor is a 53 year old man and his boyfriend is 20. I know these sorts of relationships happen among straight folks, but why is this seemingly a lot more common in the gay community? Or is it that most of the gay people I happen to know just happen to like this sort of thing? 30 years just seems like a massive age gap in a relationship to me. Any help with understanding this phenomenon? I don't mean to offend anyone, I just want to understand better. Thanks! Peace. :daisy:

 

I would not go on claiming that intergenerational relationships with massive age gaps are more common among the gay men than among the straight couples simply because I have no reliable data at hand.

But I can clearly see your point here.

So far, I have noticed that most intergenerational relationships happen between usually highly successful men in their senior age, and much younger female or male partners in need of all kinds of support. Putting it very bluntly, having a much younger partner is usually the privilege of wealth.

Families have been getting increasingly dysfunctional over the last few decades. Besides the financial aspect, a few young people of both sexes are actively seeking a father figure they have been missing in their childhood. (There is a reason for an increased demand in male kindergarten teachers...)

Last but not least, I have come to believe that each and every one of us has a talent or natural gift of some kind. Some people are gifted in a way that they enjoy intergenerational relationships, and are rationally happy to reap many of its tangible benefits.

KD

 

You're only going by what you see. 20 yr old girl dating a 50 something guy, at 21 you are not really going to see it. The only guys you know that age are ones you work with, that you wont mix with anyway, or family members. The girls your age that have the 50+ guy on the side are going to hide it from you, and pretty much everyone else you age.

Happens way more with straight girls, just you never see it

 

Thanks for the responses. Both of you made points that I think make a lot of sense. It probably is true that women my age would hide such relationships but there is no such pressure in the gay community. I have to admire folks that can make inter-generational relationships work, though. Seems like it would require more work and understanding from both people.

Peace. :daisy: