Who is the woman and who is the man?

lol....I have both characteristics of masculinity and femme, and don't really like it up the rear end. I see myself as a man, not a woman btw. And I see the term "woman" as offensive. Saying "hey girlfriend" in a joking tone is OK though. I do not wear dresses or women's clothing. Do I wear eyeliner? Yes, like 4 or 5 times a year when I go out on the town. Do I wear tight girl jeans? yes but so do a ton of modern rock musicians. I don't wear pink, or any girl colors. Just to explain. I've been to HARDCORE METAL concerts and have had NO problems. In fact I make new friends and get hit on by women (on rare occasion).

Anyways, I'd rather be on top, in other words. You could see me more as a metrosexual guy, considering how really vain I am. So, I would think gay guys wouldn't really care about who is woman and who is man since they are BOTH men, lol. Both could be top or bottom. But it seems like where I am at the gay culture is preoccupied with who is a woman and who is a man. Uh, honestly that doesn't really make sense....I just look at the personality and looks and who has a fun attitude, that is what counts for me. ALSO I rarely if ever have been harrassed or picked on by straight people for being effeminate. People tend to see me as more goofy and funny than gay. I've been harassed and slighted more by gay than straight people...which is very offensive and doesn't make sense. Even when I had a moustach and small beard people still had a negative attitude....hmmmm?

like I was treated like trash by a certain gay guy because I had femme qualities. He wasn't exactly super masculine himself...so I didn't understand where the heck he was coming from.

But can somebody explain this to me??? Is that like a HUGE deal with gay men?? Honestly it sounds lame. But I must face reality no matter how much it sucks. Tell me the reality.

P.S. I've been gay for a while but don't tell too many people, I have select gay friends and don't engage too much within the gay culture or gay community since it has been a nasty/dysfunctional experience for me right from the start when I attended the gay lesbian organization at the college about 4 years ago.......so much tension!! I've also been accused of "he just came out of the closet" by gays like as if hinting at how ignorant and stupid I am about the gay culture...NOPE I just choose not to engage with the gay culture too much because it comes across as being very dysfunctional. I've been called a "gay baby" or "baby gay"...WILL you explain that to me?? What is that??? AM I in the twilight zone or living in some freakish dimension?? ORRR Just dealing with very difficult and annoying people.

 

gay guys like guys, some gay guys like their guys as guys. I'm not super masculine but i still prefer the more masculine type.

 

just go with what feels right to you, although personally if I met a guy and his first question was are you passive or active, I would write him off as being a bit shallow.
BTW I don't think metrosexuality is an accurate term for a gay man, m understanding is that its a straight man with gay charateristics, but isn't gay, but having said that if it works for you, go for it
S