Which is harder? Ladies..

Discussion in 'Love and Sex' started by Ladylocks, Jan 22, 2005.

  1. Ladylocks

    Ladylocks Banned

    Which is harder? Abortion or giving up for adoption?
     
  2. AutumnAuburn

    AutumnAuburn Senior Member

    I've never done either... But, I would think that adoption would be... Because I would be constantly worrying about the child, if it is being treated well, doing well, etc.
     
  3. loveflower

    loveflower Senior Member

    do you mean giving up for adoption?
     
  4. drumminmama

    drumminmama Super Moderator Lifetime Supporter

    I was a pre-Roe adoptee. I have taken many friends to clinics, because we DO have the right to make that choice. (against abortion? Don't have one)
    I have friends who have given their babies up for adoption. I have friends who are raising those babies they didn't plan for.
    All said, the raisers and aborters seem less disconnected. The adopters are sidetracked and weepy on mother's day, and birthdays. They express more regret than the others.
    THey are less likely to go seek some professional advice, too, and seem more likely to have another quickly.
     
  5. HippyFreek2004

    HippyFreek2004 changed screen name

    I struggled with this question when I was pregnant last year. Thank the lord above I had a miscarriage because I couldn't make the decision.

    Abortion seemed like an easyout. But I would have been able to go ahead with my life, with only myself and the doctor knowing what I had done. I would have been able to continue with my college plans and everything (which I am doing right now).

    If I had given it up for adoption, I would have carried that life in me for nine months, nine months of coexisting with this thing that was made of both me and my friend, whom I love so dearly. I would have gotten attached. It would have been hard to give up that little creature that was part me and part my best friend...

    I don't think I could ever give a child up for adoption...I just couldn't do it.

    Hollyq
     
  6. Evil_eyez

    Evil_eyez Member

    I think adoption is far more harder than abortion....for the reason that when you abort it's usually in the early stage of pregnancy and there's not much a connection there....but when you give up your baby for adoption you already created a bond with you and the baby....you carried it for nine months, you felt it's first move and it is you who felt it's first kick and you finally realize that there's a baby in you, that you have become attached to the baby....so adoption in my opinion is far harder
    Also when you give your baby up for adoption you can never tell where it will end up...whether it will end up in a good home r not!!!!
     
  7. FallenFairy

    FallenFairy Senior Member

    I think that abortion would be harder to deal with because not only will you be carrying the guilt of killing an innocent life but also your taking a chance of not being able to have kids again. you would be going through alot of withdrawl and having breakdowns everytime you see a baby. At least when you give you baby up for adoption you can choose the parents and you get to decide if you want to receive updates and pics of your child. With abortion you are terminating a life and for the rest of your life you will be wondering what could have been.....
     
  8. Personally I feel that abortion should not be used as birth control. A girl I was dating had one and told me she had a miscarraige and didnt tell me the truth until 2 years later. Since then I have had a child die during labor and have a healthy 3 year old that is the light of my world. As I have no womb I would never dream of telling a woman what to do with her own body. But there's my take on it.
     
  9. FallenFairy

    FallenFairy Senior Member

    I agree with you. If abortions were a form of BC there would be so many young girls having sex getting pregnant and then getting an abortion and not really worrying or caring about it. but I also know a few women whom have severe heart problems or severe MS and they both have had abortions because if they went through with the pregnancy they would have died. Also I think that If a women was raped and got pregnant and doesnt want to go through with the pregnancy they should get an abortion. Other wise If a women is just plain old stupid and gets pregnant then she shouldn't have the option of abortion.
     
  10. I know im not a lady or anything but you said you would be worried about you child once they were adopted. We'll I was adopted and if you decide your going to give it up before you give birth then you can meet all the families that are interested in having the child, you cant have there address or anything but every year my mom writes a letter to the adoption agency and gives a picture, which then is given to the women whom i have no clue who is.
     
  11. I really hate this topic, but feel the need to post. when i was about 16 me and my boyfriend started having sex, became careless and eventually stopped using condoms. 6 weeks before my 17th birthday i found out i was pregnet, i did not know whether i wanted to keep my baby or give her up. i fought myself over this for a long time and decided that i wanted my baby. how could i give this thing I CREATED away, or murder it. it is not your decision when someones life is over. what im trying to say is i cant understand how women can live with knowing that it was their choice whether there baby lived or died, because everyone knows it is not your choice when someones life is over. really whats the difference between murdering your 12 year old kid that you decide you cant handle and wont be able to take care of anymore. i know people will put up an arguement that is just a "fetus" and blah blah blah. but really thats just BS. and then ill get all the womens rights shit and stuff like that. what about babys rights they might not have a voice but noone should have power over anothers life
     
  12. FallenFairy

    FallenFairy Senior Member

    I totally agree with you. ITS JUST NOT A FETUS its a human being that you had created and it is able to breathe and all in the first few weeks.
     
  13. Kiz

    Kiz Member

    Uh... they aren't able to breathe in the first few weeks honey. If you want to argue against abortion, fine, just get your facts straight first. And it is a fetus, like it or not. You can argue that a fetus has the same rights as any other human being, but you can't argue it's not a fetus. Or did you mean "not just a fetus" when you wrote "just not a fetus"?
     
  14. Hmm... very difficult. But I would say, abortion depending on certain circumstances, but abortion mostly.
     
  15. FallenFairy

    FallenFairy Senior Member

    thats what i meant "not just a fetus" ( god i need to get my glasses on) and well technically in the early weeks (8weeks or so) they can "breathe" using "gills" unless of course my doctor is wrong
     
  16. Kiz

    Kiz Member

    No, they can't breathe during the early weeks. They need a ventilator when they are born prematurely. At 8 weeks they are still getting oxygen via the umbilical cord.
     
  17. Kiz

    Kiz Member

    They can feel pain at 8 weeks though.
     
  18. FallenFairy

    FallenFairy Senior Member

    ok well thatnk you for correcting me I appreciate it a bunch
     
  19. enigma_rising

    enigma_rising Member

    i agree that an unborn baby is a fetus, because thats the technical name for it, but why should it be thought of as anything other than a stage of human existance? simply because it cannot survive without its mother before 22 weeks(thats the earliest a fetus has survived outside the womb, with special care of course) does not invalidate its right to life, a newborn will soon die if no one feeds it or cares for it whatever its age. Adoption may be harder, because it is tough carrying a child inside you whatever the circumstances, i know, ive done it, i had a terrible pregnacy, but at the end of the day the woman put herself in a position where conception was possible (excluding rape victims of course) and so by doing that accepts the responsibility. i believe that it is better to give the child to loving parents who can give it what it needs than to kill it, because that is what it is, killing, i see human existance as one long cycle, and that begins at conception, not at birth. as has been said before, no-one has the right to extinguish life, i know there are many circumstances that may make abortion the best option for a woman in her eyes, but i just cant accept it anymore, please dont be offended, these are only my views and i respect those of others. ive supported my friend through an abortion and it was awful, i did it because she was my friend and she needed me but it just convinced me that i didnt believe it was right.
     
  20. DEFINITELY adoption. I dont think I could live knowing I gave up a living breathing moving eating smiling loving bubble blowing little toed creature. But to have an abortion, it's like eating eggs if you ask me! (sorry if that sounds sick, just listen) An egg is an unborn fetus, so is the baby inside of you. if you thought about it, how wrong does it seem to eat an unborn baby chicken. (I'm a, animal rights activist, this just seemed like a good analogy) Might less killing your own child! I know it's a bit different, eating an egg is for nourishment, yes. But not all abortions are bad either! However, in adoption, you know that child will always think of it's parents, it's "other life". I dont know, I'm rambling. I'm just going to say that adoption would be harder for me!
     

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