when you part ways with your lover...

...do you prefer to stay away from them completely? Or stay friends and see each other regularly as acquaintances?

I tend to prefer to make a clean break, at least for a while until things have been ironed out and each person has moved on to a new relationship. That's not to say that I dislike the person or am holding a grudge against them.

.

 

I Prefer To Go The Route Of The Three S's.

SHOOT.....

SHOVEL....

And

SHUT UP...

Solves Even The Most Nasty Of Break Ups, Then I Move On...



Cheers Glen.

 

Works even better than a gentleman's agreement to stay away from each other.

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It all depends on how the relationship ended for me. If they were a complete git, then I will probably cut them out, but if it was mutual then being friends/ friendly around each other is okay.

I seem to like people similar to me in that way as well, I can't be doing with people who are too attached, or after any sort of breakup need to never see me again.

 

I have only had two relationships that ended that were serious.

The first it was just time to end and there were no hard feelings. A high school thing and it just did not grow into anything more. We still talk once in a while and still have mutual friends.

The second was my ex and the father of my children. We both agreed when separating that it was not to become an issue and it has not. We talk daily and still are involved in family things on both sides. All decisions are still joint and he is still someone who I admire and truly like as a person. I would trust him with my life, in fact I do as he holds all medical proxy and power of attorney. More importantly there is no one I trust more with the kids lives. No anger or dislike.

Works for us.

My current partner is still breathing.

 

Similar. Even the bad breakups are old news after a few years and you have mutual friends. It makes me more comfortable if they have moved on to a new relationship.
There is one I would never want to see again, but he was a jealous alcoholic and he may try something.

And for some reason, I've had 2 ex boyfriends come looking for me after going through divorces...I guess it's like a comfort zone thing? One got pretty weird, and I was so glad when he met someone else and got remarried.

 

I've only been in one relationship besides the one I am in now and when I broke up with him it was a clean break and I have never once talked to him since. It's a small town so I have seen him, but we haven't ever spoken to each other.

I had been over the relationship for like a year before I broke up with him though, so I was really really done.

 

I tried to remain friends with them all, but in the end everything girlfriend I have ever had has point blank hated me. One said it should be treated as a compliment, that I was impressionable enough to be able to bring that sort of reaction out of people, whether it's a good one or a bad one

but went on to say I was still a git.

 

as long as kids aren't involved, she should probably be deported.

 

A complete break is the only way for me. I've never understood the desire to be friends with someone after breaking up with them. For me when the relationship is over, any sort of relationship with that person is over.

 

I'm the opposite......But if they don't wish to be my friend I respect that.

 

I remain friends with all my exes. My relationships are built around friendship so it seems kind of pointless to end the friendship once the romance is over. the only exception being the first guy I fell madly, head over heels in love with. That was the first time i had my heart broken and I couldn't even bear to look at his face after we broke up. But we ended up being friends a couple of years after the break up, and immediately fell into a comfortable friendship because of our shared history.

i've been on and off with the same guy for going on 5 years now, and remaining friends has probably been our downfall. we're bad for each other but because we're such good friends its easy to fall back into a pattern of getting back together and breaking up when we're not dating other people. but i cant imagine him not being in my life. i'm horrible at cutting people completely out of my life.

 

I've cut people out of my life before, but now I regret doing it.

 

This problem has been addressed by Paul Symon. Mr. Symon lays out 50 common sense ways to leave your lover. Slip out the back Jack - Make a new plan Stan - Drop off the key, Lee - Hop on the bus Gus, etc. etc.

 

you don't need to discuss much!

 

I'm in the process of trying to figure this out as well. I guess it all depends on what kind of relationship you were in with other person. In my case, I suppose the best way is to just move on completely, disconnect yourself.

 

Yeah, I think I am too. I don't like losing good people from my life, so will try and keep in touch with them. Even with the one who really hurt me, I don't think I'd like it if he wasn't in my life any more. It isn't the same as it was, but he's part of my history, so I don't want to cut him out.

 

just because he's part of your history doesn't necessarily mean he should be part of your future...

i was never molested as a child, but i can bet that if i was i would not want to remain friends with whoever did it, even though it would certainly be part of my history.

 

Yeah, but that is different.

He's not a good friend, nor do I see him regularly, but we stay in contact every now and again, and through friends. Just because we aren't in a relationship any more doesn't mean that he can't be in my life.

But, everyone is different. Some prefer a clean break, but that isn't always the case for me.

 

I never cared enough about having certain people in my life to keep them around just for the sake of not losing anyone.