When Everyone Is Getting Engaged But You: Who Can Relate?

I found this video on YouTube and I feel like it perfectly captures my feelings about where I am in my life. I'm quite content being single, and right now my career is my priority. But as I'm about to turn 30, I kind of feel like everyone around me is getting engaged, and sometimes I feel like I'm in some kind of Zombie Horror Movie. I usually am fine about it all, but sometimes it feel like too much and I feel like this crazy failure for not having a partner in life. Thoughts? Anybody feel like this way too?

 

Says your Male on your profile?.... do you know who you are? Could be your problem..

Single is better for the mind body and soul...

 

I was in that boat. And really, it seems like a lot of people get married out of college. Well, 20 years ago when I went to college. I was super picky and chose a different path. And then my friends started having babies, and I didn't even have a steady girlfriend. I let my career be the measuring stick of success because long term relationships were not an area where I was having success. I fell in love with a girl who told me she never wanted kids, so I broke up with her. Not because I didn't love her, but because I wanted something different in life. It was the right thing to do at the time. I never fell in love again.

30 is young. Trust me. And it doesn't matter if you are male/female. At least mentally. As a guy, I would be able to have a family forever. As long as I could attract a female of child-bearing age. Being with the "right" person was what mattered. And in reality, that's probably all that really matters for anyone. I am dealing with that particular reality now.

You see, I am now married to that girl I talked about. After 20 years and a failed marriage on both of our parts, we are together. And she has a child...the main reason I discarded our relationship 20 years prior. We've tried desperately to have a child, and it hasn't worked. IVF, surgery, you name it.

My path has caused me complications in our marriage. I've wanted to be a father since I was 17. Not right then, but at some point. She never did. But she did. So I resent that to a degree. We decided to stop this month. In the next 2 weeks, I'll know if I have a chance to be a father.

However, the chance to be with my soulmate forever might be what's really important. I don't know. I was the super-religious guy who never would divorce, but I did. And now I don't have those inclinations, so I am lost in a sea of what-ifs. I have a lot to figure out, and soon, but here's what I am guessing. I KNOW that being with the wrong person is not fair. Find someone you want to be with. I THINK that being with the right person is the most important thing. I have some serious reality to deal with in the next few weeks, and likely beyond.

We only get one chance at this. I was a manager at one point in my career for 8 years. I discarded it because I believe that being HONEST is more important than being PC.

Anyhow, don't settle. That's a path that leads to heartbreak, and even then, in my situation, can lead to issues. But the issues are important. I am better facing them now then chancing her stance then of "no kids" at the time.

If you have doubt, just PM me. I'll help. I understand.

 

That kinda bothers me. Like Easter my family talked about 2 people left to have kids. Completely ignoring me in that equation. I have no issue being single. If I could find someone just to fuck me on a regular basis I’d be ok. My issue is the relationship games. It seems like it’s a repetitive cycle. I see some girl break up with her boyfriend or whatever. I wait a little and while she’s still single I start talking to her. I’m not playing the I’m so sorry, he sucks bullshit she’s heard 1000times. I’m talking just in general. I ask her out and it’s the usual oh your just a friend. Yet I get the why are you acting like this when I turn into an asshole? It just seems their usually single 4 days to a week then their back together. It repeated several times with the same story every time. I just have better luck with women who are already taken or married.

 

I've been single for about 3 years now and haven't been with anyone since my ex left me. Found out he was cheating on me. Since than, I've been focusing on myself and I don't plan to settle down for anything less until I find what I'm looking for. I'm in no rush to get engaged or try looking for love. That one thing I don't like about the whole dating scene is how people tend to play mind games and are very wishy washy, they seem to change their mind very quickly or run away. Rather with someone who knows what they want and goes for it. I'm a patient person, but I like someone who's upfront and honest with me, instead of me having to guess what their thinking or what they want. If someone wants me or wants to be with me, I will know it. So I'm sort of doing my own thing right now. Everyone should love themselves first before enter a new relationship and not bring past emotional baggage to your next one.