when does spanking get out of hand

Discussion in 'Spanking' started by bostonbeans, Aug 29, 2007.

  1. bostonbeans

    bostonbeans Member

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    I usually have no problem with the whole spanking thing, my issue though is when does it go too far? i mean ok, a slap on the ass is fine, but a slap on the face for me is too much. isnt the a bit too S&M?
     
  2. Bella Désordre

    Bella Désordre Charmed

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    I wouldn't feel comftrable going there and I would feel outright abused if it was done to me.
     
  3. nesta

    nesta Banned

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    too s&m? it can't be "too" something unless its beyond what YOU want.

    for me...all the slapping in the world (in the right locations, of course) wouldnt be enough. i love being slapped in the face. i love slapping a girl in the face. i love bending her over and spanking till she can't take it anymore. i like the same to be done to me. in fact, i even LIKE the line to be crossed to where one CANT take it anymore...but it happens anyway ;)

    but then again, this is just open handed slaps...nothing more. maybe a riding crop or different type of whip would be ok, too. but no paddles, no punching, no burning, no knives, no slapping the balls or tits, no leaving bruises (redden eachother up a bit though!) and EVERYTHING must ALWAYS be entirely consentual!

    but thats just what does it for me. i like what i like, i dont like what i dont like. when it "gets out of hand" is only when its something i or my partner would be uncomfortable with.

    as much as i love slapping a girl around, and as much as i like to get it right back (though i usually prefer to maintain roles throughout a session) if a girl i'm with doesnt like it at ALL, then thats that and there is no pushing for it. but i couldnt see myself in a long term relationship with a girl who wasnt kinky at all...i'd at LEAST have to be able to get SOMETHING i like....either deepthroat, or i get to be slapped around, or i get to give her a damn good spanking, or i get to tie her up or vice versa....i need something more than just plain boring old run of the mill in-out.

    is slapping in the face too sm? when does spanking get out of hand? thats answered strictly on a personal level. there is no general answer.

    its up to an individual to know their own limits and the limits of their lover, and to respect the established boundaries. otherwise there is no respect, no safety, and in essence no real love
     
  4. Hippievixen

    Hippievixen Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

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    This was the fucking hottest shit I ever read.

    You can slap me around any time, Nesta.

    *gigggles*
     
  5. hippie_chick666

    hippie_chick666 Senior Member

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    Yep, I agree that it's a personal thing. I enjoy my fiance spanking me sexually, but one time I was washing my hair in a bathtub, on my hands and knees and naked when he grabbed one of those wooden body brushes and started spanking me. The first time, it hurt and I told him to stop but he thought I was joking about the pain, so he kept doing it until I got REALLY pissed and grabbed the damn brush and threatened to spank him as hard as I could with him bare-assed. That's when he realized that he crossed the line... and when the marks didn't go away till the next day. That's the only time it's gotten out of hand, mainly b/c I didn't find it sexual in any way. It just hurt like a bitch!

    Spanking during sex is a different story, although a wooden body brush has never been involved!

    Peace and love
     
  6. Bella Désordre

    Bella Désordre Charmed

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    hmmm...when it's not consensual...whther you are submitting to him helping you become a better or person or if it's playful. Forcefully spanking someone is not loving discipline because you obviously don't respect the person enough to submit nor is it sexual at all.
    and before you jump on me and judge the fact that my fiance punishes me let me inform you we have the best relationship of anyone I know, he treats me like a princess, spoils the crap outta me and we never fight.
     
  7. Lady of the Freaks

    Lady of the Freaks Senior Member

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    it's your choice to be submissive in your relationship if that is what you want.
     
  8. Bella Désordre

    Bella Désordre Charmed

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    I agree. I had a bellini high when I wrote that heh ):

    What I meant was exactly what you said. Whether it is playful and kinky, or real or both your partner has to submit to it or else it is abuse.

     
  9. Stubb0rnSt0n3r

    Stubb0rnSt0n3r Banned

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    Shit man, when it's been replaced by a paddle, duh?

    Fuckin' shock prod!
     
  10. stacy lulu

    stacy lulu yeeeaah buddy

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    when your ass starts to burn >_<
     
  11. rj45

    rj45 Member

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    when there is blood, you have definitely crossed the line (although some pain sluts - mostly male - want that). Any type of skin penetration or cut is also a no-no. You have to be careful to use equipment not used on others or cleaned antiseptically. You never know if blood from others will get into your bloodstream and you end up with some fatal condition.

    I think though that women like to be spanked more than they like to spank their male partner, since women tend to be more submissive.
     
  12. potsmokingnome

    potsmokingnome Member

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    When I get spank happy I get spank happy! Once with my former wife (going through a divorce) I slapped her on the ass really hard, a few times. Boy did I get a lecture afterwards LOL
     
  13. jia

    jia Member

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    Regardless of if you don't think you're performing S&M exactly I'd recommend you agree on a 'safe word' phrase or action before hand. This just makes things nicer -- for example if I know if I say 'apple' everything will stop I'm much more likely to just let go. I can beg you to stop but since I didn't actually say the word you'll know that I don't REALLY want it to stop and its just part of the game.
     
  14. MollyBoston

    MollyBoston Fluffer

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    Jeez, Keigan...it would've been okay with me.

    That reminds me, though...something I haven't heard people talking about. I like being submissive with my bf, and we get into all kinds of stuff...sometimes when I'm tied up and being spanked or something, I like to cry. It's kindof a letting go thing. It makes me feel even more like I don't have any control, which is what I like. We've talked about it so he knows not to stop when I cry - I have other ways to let him know if I'm not having fun anymore.

    Are there any other girls like this, like crying is part of it and that turns you on too?

    I should probably post this somewhere other than in a random thread, but wth.
     
  15. groovecookie

    groovecookie Member

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    I like to get spanked. It's very exciting. But here's my problem: i'm also a wus. I like to get spanked till i'm wincing out a tear or two ...maybe if i'm really into it i can even go till i cry... but everyone i've tried it with has been either so non sadist that they couldn't bear to give me any more than a little tap or they are so sadist that they only really start getting aroused when i start to cry. Where are the just right sadists? I don't think there are any. The real ones like real tears and that's usually more than what i want. Maybe that's just been my run of luck though. Donno
     
  16. ESRUOS ENO

    ESRUOS ENO Senior Member

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    /when you tear a rotor cuff
     
  17. MollyBoston

    MollyBoston Fluffer

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    Heh..."Where are the just right sadists?" That's funny, Groove.
     
  18. groovecookie

    groovecookie Member

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    By the way, just on the off chance any of those aforementioned SMBD partners happen to read this and recognize me, ..let me know if you think i've been unfair in saying what i did...but please, ...I didn't name names, so please don't hunt me down, tie me up and whip me to death! lol
     
  19. _K2_

    _K2_ Member

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    I once had to take my gal to merg right away because I hit her ass real hard with a belt and it was the buckle that broke her open from her anus to her vag. ,,nasty stuff man, but we got throught it and i just use my hand now. Won't do that shit ever again.
     
  20. groovecookie

    groovecookie Member

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    Jeeeeezzz!!!..One more example of why BDSM and alcohol are a bad combo! :cheers::whip:
     

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