When do you think is appropriate vs. innapropriate to initiate sexual contact?

What if you ask a woman out for coffee and then indicate that you are interested in casual sex with her? Is that appropriate or inappropriate?

 

Not if you say it like that, it isn't!

 

I wander if it would be possible to get a second date after that if she said no to casual sex on the first date?

 

it's not inappropriate but it also probably won't lead to sex, casual or otherwise.

 

It depends, but probably not a big deal.

It depends again. Of course it would be possible, but I'd say highly unlikely.

Just out of curiosity, how exactly would you have indicated that you are interested in casual sex?

 

Uhh no... dude just take her to your house and start kissing like most normal people...then when your kissing try to touch her tummy and go on from there

 

No one on the internet is going to be able to answer that question. These things are on a case by case basis.

 

Well, that's your opinion. How do I know I'm not a case-by-case freak then?

 

Well yes, I sort of figure its like that. I mean so what then? Your intentions of why you are kissing her and trying to get into her pants are then established by what then? The subtext of all the prior interactions. No need to communicate?

 

Actually no, because in reality your true intentions are for some good ole lovin and also belive it or not but kissing is part of foreplay along with oral sex so kissing and romanticly exploring each others bodies while kissing WILL get her turned on and then she will want to make love!

 

The only reason to communicate intent would be to make sure she knew it was casual and didn't mean you were in a relationship. But that can be communicated way before you are at the "kissing-in-your-house" point.

Your intentions of getting in her pants are probably already communicated when you ask her to go for a cup of coffee, but if not, they will be by the time you are smooching.

 

I know this is a thread for casual sex but may i ask, why dont you want a relationship? Because when your in love it makes sex even better!

 

:rofl: Yeah, I agree - but I swear I'd love to try it just once.

 

See exactly! This is what I mean!

I do want a relationship. That's partially why this is in the relationship thread.

I am just a horny person. So how can I reconcile so those two things?

 

You can make love and be in a relationship at the same time! Me and my girl kim, i loved her with all my hear and spirit and she felt the same for me and we would make love every night! We would like some nag-champa inscents, dim or even turn off the lights and light some black candle, get under the covers and make sweet sweet love untill we would fall asleep in each others arms... saying that isnt good sex is like saying pot can kill you..

 

But in what sense is that "intention" already pre-established? Like people can want to have either long term/emotion or more casual physical relationships right?

So if you are then smooching after chatting over coffee....well how do people usually know what's going on in terms of what kind of relationship is being built?

 

I can't tell if your saying its wrong to be so upfront? And I mean in a subtle way. But maybe a less subtle approach isn't wrong either?

 

No, sorry bro you totally misunderstood me. I mean yes you can have sex and be in a loving relationship at the same time.

I mean I am so horny that I would be entirely okay with having sex before being in a relationship with somebody (and that if you think about it,if you really value a meaningful relationship you shouldn't just hop into one until its right for you-not that i am saying thats what you are doing or advising)
I am saying gosh geez I am horny but I don't like the idea of

1. Coming across inappropriate or offensive.
2. Foreclosing on the possibility of developing a relationship.

So I'm going to a speed dating thing soon. Assuming that I get anywhere with anyone. So say I ask to meet up again with a gal who I think is really cute and I would love to get into her pants. But I don't have deeper feelings for her yet but hey she seem cool and maybe I would like to know her like that......It's that situation where I am confused about how to do 1. and 2.....


Does anybody understand what I am saying?

 

See bro, the type of relationship that is being build wont be built untill everything is done with... kinda hard to explain but just by the way you treat her and act around her she will get a sense of what kind of relationship it is. Say, if you are cuddling up with her and holding her in your arms at the coffe shop then that sends out a sign saying you want love

 

I would assume that before you got to kissing you would exchange words, and that would be the perfect time to signal whether you wanted a relationship or something casual.

But there is nothing in the way of a casual encounter maturing into a relationship. I think usually people have no idea what's going on, and the chemistry is either right or it isn't, and so people will decide what they want as they go along.

As long as you're not saying you want a relationship and then bailing out once you've had sex, I wouldn't worry too much about communicating your intentions. If she wants a relationship, she will make that clear, just like you would if you wanted one. If she is happy to have a casual encounter, she's likely not going to worry about what your intentions are.