When do you guy's feel the most whole? I would have to say when I am with my close friends or when I am outside in the woods.
It generally comes when I'm awake. Though, that is only because I don't remember what I'm like when I'm asleep.
I think I feel closest to who I would like to be when I am outside, on a mountain, in the woods, in big surf, under a waterfall. But the reality is, I probably am closer to who I really am when I am drunk with friends. At least, that's who others think I really am.
Cate, I would like you to get close to your inner self. Maybe we could make love under the stars, in the great outdoors. I'd be doing it just for you though, you understand?
When I'm with Brad(#1), with my mom or dad(#2), playing piano(#3), back home(#4), and in a forest/park(#5).
At my grandmother's house, when I take a walk to the river, through the corn, past the beans, around the bee hives, and near the rhubarb patch that my great great grandmother would have picked. Definitely at that spot. Or at the maple tree that my grandfather crashed his truck into. The tree has a scar that is in the shape of a pregnant woman with a child sitting at her feet. It's the interesting tree. But I also feel whole inside myself quite a bit. There is this poem I read as a kid by Canadian poet Dennis Lee called "The Secret Place" that describes the feeling: There's a place I go, inside myself, Where nobody else can be, And none of my friends can tell it's there— Nobody knows but me. It's hard to explain the way it feels, Or even where I go. It isn't a place in time or space, But once I'm there, I know. It's tiny, it's shiny, it can't be seen, But it's big as the sky at night . . . I try to explain and it hurts my brain, But once I'm there, it's right. There's a place I know inside myself, And it's neither big nor small, And whenever I go, it feels as though I never left at all.
when i'm alone and when i'm asleep. also sometimes when i'm with complete straingers who share one or more of my intrests, which is something that hasn't happened in a while (i mean other then online like here). most of all though, when i'm alone out in the woods somewhere, sitting on a nice flat rock meditating, especially if its some place kind of hidden away that has a bit of a magical feel to it. i mean like if its completely surrounded by thorney vines like blackberries and dense brush like manzanita and you have to kind of crawl under all this to get in there, so you KNOW nobody's gonna come along and interupt your meditating. you know, plus being where they'd have to have walked at least five or six miles to get there too, with no place they could drive to any closer then that. =^^= .../\...
I don't feel as though I change...this is who I am and there isn't too much that makes me feel whole. When I write, I feel as though that is the REAL me. I'm seeing myself on paper and it makes me feel great knowing I created it; I created me. I also see the true me through crafts and what I make. When I debate something. I feel my true self when I'm expressing my views and backing them up. I feel very close to who I am when I'm having an indepth, meaningful conversation with someone dear to me. The only time I'm really not myself is around my family. I can't be myself because they don't accept that.
When I am hiking in the mountains, fishing in the mountains, making love in the mountains, roasting marshmallows by the fire in the mountains, gazing at the stars in the mountains... short answer: in the mountains