When did the Curiosity end and the reality began?

After think about it, As an alternate solution to NO SEX at home, Bi Curiosity took hold and built until it seemed like a logical choice. The reality was that sucking cock didn't seem so bad, with a like minded partner. I watched enough videos and read enough threads . My wife suggesting it, took me to the point of no resistance to the urge and started a New Era in sexual enjoyment. Sorry I was so uptight for so long. When did you decide to Go For It?

 

A wife who is good with it is massive. Mine wouldn’t be. I have to be on the “down low” which adds a level of stress

 

curiosity began in my teens when I wanted more out of masturbation. Started playing with me ass. Reality began around 24/25 ish. WONDERFUL reality! I LOVED IT!!!!

 

Now that I'm a little older, I appreciate the experience women with more experience provide in sexual satisfaction. In my younger days, I had the opportunity to be the ladies first three times that I know of, and each was pretty bad sex. Women who've been around the block a few times are generally excellent partners, who have an appreciation for the event and the man they're with. I'll take experience over youth ANY day.

 

I will take experience, over youth ANY-DAY! as the coach said....

 

I was about 30. Apart from a bit of mutual masturbation with a friend as a young teenager I had always been completely straight and had never thought about, let alone fantasized, about sex with other guys.
I met a guy through a personal advert with a view to forming a syndicate of men who would lease an apartment that we could use as a base for illicit affairs, sex parties, etc. We met and drove in his car to a quiet spot to discuss the idea. It was clear fairly quickly that the apartment plan was out of my league so we started chatting. Turns out this guy was an experienced player, Lots of experience. He had a pile of Polaroid pics with him, souvenirs of his adventures. He showed them to me and I got an erection whilst looking through these. I tried to discreetly make myself a little more comfortable and he noticed and said he didn't mind if I got my cock out and pulled myself off. So I did. after a very short while he did the same and he asked he could touch me. I said OK without even thinking about it and as he reached for my cock I reached for his and we masturbated each other to orgasm. I never met with him again but from that point on I never looked back and became a confirmed bisexual.

 

This one has been a long evolution. In my 30’s and 40’s I was getting plenty of sex with my wife, but I had the curiosity and desire to be with or at least try out sex with a man. All of my upbringing and influences told me sex with men was wrong. So I did my best to bury it. Finally in my late 40’s I let a guy blow me and I felt so guilty for doing it. So I ignored the urges for another decade. By then menopause was becoming a thing and slowly my wife started to loose interest in sex. The desire for men only grew stronger as my sexual activity at home diminished. I had a few more encounters with men exchanging blowjobs and each time the guilt would return and I would beat myself up for giving into them.
At this point my wife who I love very much had made it clear sex isn’t on the menu at all, and has on occasion made reference to not wanting to know how I solve this for myself. My impression is that she thinks I will have a sexual affair with a woman. But it’s a very touchy subject so we don’t talk about it.

By now I’ve had several encounters with several men and it’s just that, I have come to terms with the fact that sexuality is a continuum and evolves over time and I’m bisexual. So for me it wasn’t a single event but more of a gradual change.

 

Great feedback and sounds very familiar to my situation, but she hasn’t mentioned going elsewhere. Early in menopause she mentioned it and I thought she was teasing. My journey (when I first took action) was last April. The guilt thing still gets me and stresses me out. I never thought about sex outside of marriage and I love my wife, so another woman is out. It gets confusing and stressful

 

For me the place to start is that I too love my wife. That hasn’t changed with her not wanting sex. Over time and having several encounters with men what I have found is that if I’m getting my sexual need met with men I don’t resent my wife for not taking care of that with me. there are two realities here. One, she no longer desires sex, even though she loves me. She just has no sex drive. And it’s common enough with women who have gone through menopause that I know it’s biological and not that she doesn’t love me anymore.
the second reality here is that I still have a very strong sex drive. So there is now an incompatibility in that part of our marriage. I honestly don’t know how else to satisfy both of us at this point and both be happy in our marriage outside of what I’m doing having sex with men. if I were to find a woman it would no doubt get messy and have drama. My solution isn’t perfect, but I don't know this a perfect solution exists at this point.

 

Well said. Thanks

 

That's why old guys have boats.

 

Thank you! This thread is extremely helpful. Between you and Windman, I think it has all been covered. The 2 of you have spelled out what so many guys are going through.

 

We've known for hundreds if not thousands of years that men confined to prison and deprived of sex sometimes turn to sex with other men, often involuntarily. But the discussion of men trapped in sexless marriage are faced with similar options. Women's lack of desire for sex is far less impacting to women. For the most part, their sex drive simply isn't strong enough to do real damage when it's withdrawn. I'm not there with this problem the way so many men are, and I have no desire to have sex with other men, but that's not to say I don't understand how this can happen.

 

I was 38 when I had my first same sex encounter
Now 55 and probably have now been with more men than woman sexually.

 

Curiosity didn't hit until my early 40s but it didn't take long (maybe a month or two) to discover craigslist personals and make it a reality

 

I wasn't curious, I had the situation present itself when my girlfriend suggested a threesome with another guy. I didn't want to lose her so I agreed to the threesome, not thinking that anything was going to happen between him and I.

About an hour into the evening she holds his erect cock in her hand and with a sly smile on her face she asked if I wanted to play with it.

"You know how much fun I have with cocks, you think its not fun?" She said. I gave in and opened a new chapter

 

I'm 61 yo us mature aged people are well lived ... In my lived eyes there is no handbook to relationships parenting , sexual beginnings , how sexual tastes in mainstream men and women evolve together ... How I see it without prejudice or chauvinistic intention , historically men and women are not on the same page based on hormone and testosterone variations ... From our upbringings the perceptions of "happily ever after's" in reality grow apart within a lot of partnerships .... At the start a man needs to provide for a woman and women seek a good man and stable provider in the old school value sense !

However that was mainly back in the day when women were suppose to keep house raise kids and the man works and provides ...

In these current decades the landscape has changed and roles have a different dynamic within marriages as we know.

To me it seems all has been provided on both sides , all the material and raising family obligations are complete , but all of a sudden there is a void.

The loving towards each other as individuals implodes , communication is alien , sexual contact is less or becomes zero , blame excuses kicks in , so it's all to hard , both man and woman just keep living under one roof with life regrets and resentment.

It may not apply to all , "but it's same shit pattern when it does apply"

"To live materially unhappy ever after"

Which ever other half turns off the body fluid tap , don't feel guilty creating another flow !!! ....Lmao

Have fun take care !

 

Reality hit me first. Then the curiosity took over in my situation. When an out of the blue experience happens it’s an eye opener.