Whats Your Family Like?

I grew up in a dyfunctional family.Dad was violent and a control freak.Mum never protected us.Both my older brothers turned to drugs,and none of us are close.Ever since I can remember,I wished I came from a different family.I can remember when I was young wishing for different parents.Later,different siblings.I'd love to of been born into a loving,caring close family.You know the kind?The kind that have big family Xmas's,celebrate birthdays together,whatever!Whats your family like?Are you closeknit?Distanced?

 

We wanted for nothing, but love, which we kind of got from my dad.
Mum was violent! She would hit you with anything close to her!
I married too young, but it was a way out, but I married a violent man, some say it was inevitable! My sisters too..
When my children were born, I gave them love, friendship, everything I possibly could. Then it became apparent, my Mum was mentally ill. I forgave her. She became my best friend...my sisters never did.
I'm now divorced, my Mum is dead, as is my dad. I'm not so close to my sisters, but I love them, and understand them, they don't understand how I forgave her, but I did. Took myself from her clutches, and now! I have three children that are successful, one is like his dad unfortunately, but, I'm happy, have no regrets, and MY family, are close.
The important thing, is to stop the cycle... Life can still be good.
If you don't take yourself out of the cycle.. It won't end.
It's your own life you have control of.
Be happy.

 

Yes I was the only one out of 5 kids that forgave our parents.And no its not something I particularly worry about either.Just sharing thoughts,the good bad and ugly!

 

You can still celebrate birthdays and holidays and be a messed up family. Holidays sometimes are the times families are the most screwed up.

 

My Dad was a Bit of a **** !! so was my mum for letting Him Get away with it ! But It was a long time ago and in those days people Didn't Know any Better , I started My life By Being Probably the same **** Myself but I managed to see what was going on and change (everything about myself )
I love MY family and try to be the best I can For them
This Is the First Time I have ever Admitted any of this and it looks weird Written Down in Front of Me Now
I think It was Morrows Post that moved Me to say these Things

 

Definitely getting out of the cycle of a toxic family was the best thing I could have done. I will say though that I still have trouble (with loneliness) having no family at all but my kid doesn't need to be around that.

 

I was the same for a long time. But now, I'm finally OK. It's just me..I get lonely, but, I get up, I go out, I have hobbies, I don't mope about, its removing yourself from the situation, just like you did..let nothing, or no one put, or get you down..learn to love you, respect yourself, you will be fine. And well done!

 

A bunch of lazy whiny morons

 

aww, vanilla thinks of us as his family.

 

Speak For Yourself Sunshine.......



Cheers Glen.

 

your so funny sometimes!

 

Id laugh with you if it wasnt true. Sigh.

 

Yes I can relate to the lonliness side of "Family".We emigrated when I was 9,so lost touch with extended family.I might try and re connect with a few cousins which might ease the lonely side of my life.

 

My family is judgmental. Very opinionated The best thing is to not care about it and live life the way you want and not let it change you.

 

My immediate family is quite colorful in nature consisting of Mother and Daddy who, in the minority of the people's parents Ive known through life, have remained partnered for 22 years as well as siblings one of each gender that are 8 years and 3 days exactly younger than i.
My parents dysfunction between each other has always bled over onto us children, and I've spent most of my higher cognizance capable years as a volley between them to vent about each other. They have always given me (vastly more than my siblings because of difference in capability which I'll explain shortly) the curteousy of speaking to me similarly to an adult and expecting me to conduct myself in accordance with appropriate consideration for situationally acceptable behavior. For example even as a small child i was fully aware of my family's financial standings, our household has maintained an open educational stance on drugs sex and alcohol, and cursing functionally in conversation was completely acceptable enacting an early understanding of when the appropriate time was and wasnt to do so. Neither of my parents subscribe to a conventional religion so church and religious rituals were never a part of my rearing, but have also never been unpleasant about we kids exploring religion for ourselves. The same approach applies to our sexualities, gender identities, and any manner preferences. Overall they are very earnest as well as successful in preaching a live and let live, and have general common respect for people philosophy teaching by example that dogmaticism isnt necessary to be a good person.
Mother is a certified mental patient with terrible hypochondria, and a victim complex. She tends toward hypocrisy in that she'll exert the same behaviors she complains about in others both within, and outside the family. However she is good at the whole maternally comforting, and considering the happiness of others.
Daddy is a conversationalist despite being the WAY more antisocial of the two. He has a very analytical mind, and has always been the one to come back to explain/talk through an issue resolutionally after an argument or punishment has occurred. He isn't much for hands on parenting unless the activity through which is of his own personal interest, but doesnt fail to show appreciation for things we kids bring to his attention.
The kids, as my parents and i have always referred to my siblings, are stunted in their own ways from years lacking in structural consistency and routine. They are twins, and not the unwaveringly unified type. Quite the opposite as for their whole lives they've been each other's favorite targets for harassment, and to fight with though they do have each other's backs when facing an outside threat right down to being lectured by the parents or myself to any degree they deem too extreme-my brother moreso than my sister in this regard.
My brother, who was diagnosed with slight brain damage caused by his prematurity, is a glutton in every possible sense of the word. His mannerisms, and way of interacting with those around him familial oe otherwise seem designed to irritate. He steals from anyone who has what he wants, right down to pilfering prohibited snacks and electronic implements from my parents dresser drawrs. He is however very creative with a love of music, and has initiative for competition in a surprisingly healthy way given his general selfish impunity. Unobservant to a fault, his priority is almost always on his own instant gratification with little understanding of the appropriate time to ask for the tenth time that day "whens dinner?" He also has an intense laziness with regard to hygiene and general cleanliness regards, often not showering or doing laundry until forced as well as leaving packaging/objects to anything lying right where he was when he finished with them without regard.
My sister is the more self-sufficient, and critically comprehensive of them. This is because since birth with all the focus my brother's deficiencies required she had to find her own way, entertain herself, and learn to go about her way without causing much of a scene. However this has also led her to be very emotionally immature, and codependent while adept at observing and responding in accordance to the mental state of those around her she becomes very easily hurt and offended often leading to greatly preemptive or unnecessary outbursts. She is generally sensitive, shy, and artistic with talent and passion for singing as well as clothing design and art. She is also very lazy to an almost unhygenic level at times, and slovenly in her personal organization and the space she occupies.
As one can imagine, the prominence of this slovenliness in both kids leads to many a fight between them and we household authorities about chores.

My extended family on Mother's side is essentially irrelevant with only her second youngest sister semi regularly calling to attain drugs. On Daddy's side my grand parents are well to do, relatively stuffy, slightly prejudicial, and generally disinterested if not entirely disapproving though they too arent religious. They are the type who worship only each other with Daddy-an only child-spending his whole life on the back burner or as free labor when applicable to their priorities of work and catering to my grandfather's preferences, and the all mighty dollar because both are self made. The measure of their devotion is completely material as theyd go any financial measure for us children-six cars, over $10,000 flat cash invested over the 20 years I've lived, and they own the house we moved into when Mother was pregnant which weve stayed in for the entirety of the kids' lives.

 

Reading some of these posts makes me feel sad and thankful at the same time.

Both my parents, sadly dead now, were very loving and protective and I've tried to be the same to my kids.

 

I guess the only saving grace I had,was that I was a better parent myself when I had my kids.

 

Everyone is so different in my family. I think they cannot really get along and be open. It's not a very bonded family and never really was. Everyone likes doing their own thing. I think they are all a little nuts to be honest about it. Then again I don't know any sane people. Everyone thinks they are sane but anyone can lose their shit.

 

Down to earth, humorous, religious.

 

My parents divorced when I was two. My dad remarried and I have three half-siblings and a stepmom. I'm still close to my stepmom and my sister and youngest brother. But my dad disowned me when I came out to him. It happens. And it warped my oldest brother's opinion of me, and we don't talk much anymore.

My mom's side of the family has more drama than I want to deal with: drugs, sexual abuse, gang involvement. But my mom and I are close. She makes me nuts though. She's always critiquing how I live my life, lecturing me on things I'm well aware of.

Meh...there it is in a nutshell.