I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and we love each other very much. As with all new relationships we were at it like rabbits for the first 18 months. The last 18 months have been very different and i dont know what changed..... I know he hasnt cheated but I'm finding it hard to understand as Iv never heard this issue before..... He says he loves me, he is horny around me all the time, we do everything in the bedroom but have no intercourse. He just says he gets more satisfaction out of everything else or just having a cuddle and isnt bothered about sex anymore. I dont know what to do anymore? I'm going crazy. He is a very well endowes man and I thought maybe it was the condoms....So I got XL condoms 6months ago and we have used 1!! he made it seem like a task and just wanted it over and done with so I would shut up (well thats how it felt) a actually wanted to cry afterwards! Help me, I really dont know what to do anymore!
if i was in your situation, i'd let the foreplay and such happen since he seems to be alright with that, but when he's done, i'd whip out a dildo and go to town on myself. have you asked him why this is happening?
Yes i've asked him, and he says he just feels closer to me having a cuddle or other stuff. I do have toys also, yes they get you off but they dont give you the passion your man should. Sex just isn't a big thing to him but i'm starting to realise it is to me. Thanks for your mature reply ubebe! And he is not gay I'minmyunderwear... You AS*
I'd honestly let him know that this is affecting you and see what he says? Maybe you should let him know your relationship is depending on whether you two have sex. That should really get him thinking about what he says next.
Don't be hookin' up with someone who has such different tastes. I know. I married a woman who I hardly knew. I met her in a "Christian" communal cult we both belonged to. We didn't even know each others' real names when we were married. 40 years of incompatibility and three kids later, it dawns upon me that we weren't right for each other (Actually, I've known it for quite some time, but I'm in denial to some extent, out of necessity). The kids have known this all along, and always encourage me to get a place of my own, to get away from her bitching and her craziness. I just stay and "tolerate" because of our financial situation, and I don't believe in simply abandoning people who depend on me. So, it continues. I have deep regrets that I did not actively seek to marry someone who matches my temperament, and am therefore a terrible example to my kids. I cover this up with self-medication, "Christian" ethics and happy-go-lucky philosophy. She and I are in different universes mentally and emotionally. Living with her is half-way between living in a war zone, and living alone, with infrequent managed pauses to find things we can do together, many of which lead to moments of hostility from the agonizing proximity factor. It sounds as if you are not well-matched either. If the level of desire for sexuality isn't the same with him, find someone else, before you settle for a mediocre existence. Either that, or you'll end up "settling" in many ways.
I know that after 18 months if still using condoms it gets to be a real buzz kill and hassle. They are not ideal in a committed relationship. I know that I personally would be frustrated if the mrs and I were still using them after that much time. Try switching to the pill or an iud and let your man fill you up to his hearts content! Mobile
Thanks for all great advice guys its not me that insists he year a condom...thats all him and i am also on the pill.i hate it that he wears condoms.I maybe should have mentioned that he is 23and i am his 1st proper girlfriend.I'm a year older and have had a few boyfriends b4.but i dont see this as a problem as why did he enjoy having sex with me for the 1st 18months and have no problem with it?I hear what your saying about compatibility....I'm really not sure what to do now.But he is amazing and we click in all other areas in our relationship.
I find it so perfectly natural to lose attraction for a woman after having sex with her exclusively for that long, that I am almost taken aback by your finding something wrong with it. But then again, I believe I have seen evidence that some couples go on and on having sex happily ever after; but I still find it mesmerizing. I used to think NO ONE could have a good sex life for that long. Now, I`m a bit more interested in speaking for myself, and saying that 3 years with only one partner would probably make me want to experiment with opening the relationship. Indeed, my only long-term committed relationship ended around then, and since, I`ve insisted on maintaining my independence right off the bat. :biggrin: Of course, only your boyfriend can say for himself what he`s feeling. Good luck to youse.
Well,,that's not uncommon,,to find someone that is good in several areas, except one. You either settle, or look for a change. When and if you make the change, if it's another partner, you may get the sex back, but lose in other areas. That's how it starts. Before you know it, you've had five husbands, and none of them were "perfect".
