What's the drunkest thing you've said?

What's the dumbest thing you've ever said while being drunk?

I've had a couple of not so bright moments.

Okay one time me my girlfriend and another friend were waiting outside of a store at like 1 in the morning and were all drunk. We were trying to remember the phone number for the taxi company but none of us could remmeber because we were too drunk. My friend finally said "Oh my god, were so dumb the numbers 777-7777". I know it's hillarious and the number really is all 7's. So I call the company and say "Hey can I get a cab to (my house number)". Then 20 minutes later we were standing there all drunk and cold and I thought "Oh shit....". I accidedentally told them to go to the place were we needed to get to instead of the place we were.

It took like another 20 minutes for the cab to get there, that night was fucked.

 

"hey guys, this phonebook has a shitload of numbers in it..."

thanks for reminding me... lol

 

i have a habit of telling girls i love them when im drunk.

ive pissed of a few dudes to say the least. lol

 

haha there are alot.

 

I haven't had too many, but my girlfriend actually said "I'm not as think as you drunk I am" once. I got her a shirt that said that a few weeks later, haha.

 

"I love you."

 

Cabs wont even come if i phone them on my cell for some reason... My numbers redlisted or some shit

Gota use a payphone or someone elses cell or they just wont show up

 

haha There's no way I can remember the dumbest thing I've said when I was drunk.

 

I remember something I said when I was semi-drunk one time though.

I had just finished drinking a 40oz Colt 45 when me and my friends got pulled over by the cops for suspicious activity and they searched us and our car. All they found was a glass spoon(bowl) in the door of the car and I immediately said "That's mine" so my friends wouldn't get into trouble, but if wasn't even mine. That wasn't the dumb part though...the cops asked me why I had the bowl and I responded with "I smoke tobacco out of it...I'm a nicotine-head". hahaha I don't know why, but "nicotine-head" made all of us start laughing; even the cops. Then they made me break the bowl on the concrete....the bastards.

 

"Of course I will be able to wake up for work"

"Drunk? I only had two drinks!"

 

i dont get too drunk that much, but my friend was trying to eifeltower(gangbang) some girl with another guy and when the girl told him no he was like"you look good(to the girl), you look good(to te other guy) i need my car cristened so go for it." lol. they didnt though
and he talks in a wierd accent when he is drunk and high

 

hahaha Your friend sounds kinda twacked out.

 

lol @ this thread.

I've said I love you, and lets have sex and shit when I'm really wasted, ahaha.

 

Oh yeah this is pretty funny I guess.

2 St. Patricks days ago me and my friends all got really bombed. One of my buddies says "you know, the alcohol companies get us all so horny with their beer. They should have to give us a girl too fuck while were drunk as well."

So for some reason I think it would be a good idea to say this to my girlfriend "brit, you should let me feel your boobs whenever I'm drunk , if you were me and i was you I'd letcha ya do it. One of my friends was like "Ian your retarded, who the hell would say something like that".

Then she looked at me like I was retarded or something and said "sure". Then I laughed and went to grab another beer and she said "well come on."

I said "what you'd actually let me do it?" She says "ya go right ahead". I know she was only saying that because she knew I wouldn't do it... I should have molested her like a 40 year od man on a pre teen boy in a cowboy outfit.

Okay so at this point it's just us (4 guys and 1 girl) sitting there in silence. And I was still trying to think of something to say because I didn't wanna start feeling her up in front of my friends because that would be sort of weird. My fuckin' idiot friend says "Ya aren't boob nervous are ya man?" I told him to fuck right off.

Then he says "well if you aren't gonna feel her mellons I am!"

Okay this is were it gets funny. When he said that I immediatley jumped off the couch but I didn't realize my legs were underneath the table so the table got knocked upsidedown. To make it even funnier I yelled "Ahhhh!!!" after the table fell so it must have looked like I got up and flipped the table over while screaming my head off when in reality I just accidentally knocked it over and yelled because I was pissed that I knocked it over.

They all started howling at me and I was pissed because there was spilt beer and pale water everywhere. My friend says "I'm not gonna be pissed as long as you clean up the mess.... Or if you let me feel her mellons"

I ended up paying my friend $5.01 to clean it up. He said he wouldn't clean it up for me unless I gave him more than $5 so I threw a penny at him.

God that was so funny. If it weren't for that table flipping over I was gonna run over there and kill him.

 

That made me lol.

 

Astrofabrical: Hey Nate, are you going to drive me home in a little while.

Me, drunk off 2 40z and a little tequila: "Yea no problem", as i shove my key into a beer and shotgun it. 10 minutes later I walk into a my friend Ben's bedroom, and fall from the doorway to his bed, demolishing it. lol I was then dragged to the bathtub. After chilling in the tub for a bit, I pull myself out, and puke into the tub. I ran water to wash the tub, but I was later told that I never opened the drain....

 

Awww, haha that's awful.

 

Yea, it is not really about what I said, more of what I did.

 

Another time I was arguing with one of my friends over something stupid...... I just realized liquor causes lots of arguments... But anyway.

My friend who I was arguing with is VERY dumb. I know I call people stupid or an idiot a lot but this guy is actually dumb. Whenever he says something stupid I'll say "way to go Mr.Stupid" Or "Nice job ya idiot" but I'll say it like Conky.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvtXhDvrlcg&feature=related listen to that to hear what Conky sounds like because if you don't know what he sonds like it isn't funny.

Okay, so were arguing and I say "way to go Jake, ya fuckin' idiot" but I didn't realize that I was pretending to have a conky on my hand. So there I was calling him an idiot meanwhile I'm standing there opening and closing my hand as if I actually had the doll on my hand.

 

Hahahaha. That even funnier without the doll actually.