whats the deal here

Discussion in 'Coming Out and Confused!' started by justaguy, May 26, 2004.

  1. justaguy

    justaguy Member

    Ok. I'll try to be brief. I'm not gay but for a while I've kind of had fantasies of giving and receiving (mostly giving) oral sex to other guys. I really think I'd love to try it but not to be known. I wouldn't want anyone to know. But I KNOW I am not gay. I am not in the least bit attracted to men. I love women. The male form does not even slightly attract me. For me the idea of having sex with a man or being intimate makes me feel physically sick. Honestly. So why do I sometimes get horny thinking about...don't want to sound too dirty here but to be blunt.... sucking cock. I hope I'm not being too crude here.
    It's just a penis thing, not the man. Like, it would be better if the thing itself was not attached to a man, lol.
    Any ideas why all this is? I'm really 100% sure I am not gay. Or even bi really. Its just the oral thing, nothing more. I dont think I'd want to do it a lot. Maybe just something I'd like to try. But I dont think I could. Only if it was like one of those masked underground things, lol.
    I am being serious here btw, I'm not messing around.

    I'd just like to know your opinions.
  2. meishka

    meishka Grease Munky

    oh heaven forbid you should be gay. that would be the end of the world now wouldn't it. it's normal. it appeals to you because it's taboo. even though millions of gays do it everyday. think of all those men being intimate with eachother. love in the world. i bet you'd wish they'd be pointing guns at eachother instead.
  3. justaguy

    justaguy Member

    Sorry I guess that could make me look a little bit anti-gay. I'm not at all. I meant that the idea of having sex with other guys myself makes me feel sick. It doesnt bother me that others do. I'm fine with it. I know this is an old line but I do know a great guy who is gay. He's the brother of a girlfriend of mine and we dont know each other a great deal, but whenever he sees me he always says hi and we'll have a quick chat. He's a really nice guy. Very friendly and comfortable with who he is.

    Honestly, didnt mean to sound anti - gay with that 1st post.
  4. Sunburst

    Sunburst Fairy

    Darling, sex is NOT being gay. In my opinion, you are only gay if you love the person of the same sex, and maybe if you want to have a sexual relationship as well.

    Basically, your sexuality is not based on sex alone, if you could be IN LOVE with the same gender, then you're basically prolly gay. It all depends...
  5. Taylor

    Taylor Repatriated

    this is what gloryholes are for.
  6. Mui

    Mui Senior Member

    i know so many guys that just like to give head...

    whats the deal here?
    i dunno i guess thats it man.
  7. plenty of people are straight but enjoy sex with the same gender. and plenty of people are gay and enjoy sex with the opposite gender.

    its no biggy. sex is sex. im gay, but i'd prolly have sex with a guy if i thought he was hot and i was drunk!

    chill out man.
  8. justaguy

    justaguy Member

    Thanks for replying. I think it could be right that its a kind of tabboo thing for me. And that may be partly why I'm attracted to the idea.
    Like I said I'm defintitely not gay becuase I know I couldn't love another man, just women.
    Wow, really? Plenty of straight guys like to give head?
    I'd really love the chance to do it but I doubt it will happen. Dont know any way I could. And I dont think there are any glory holes around here.
    Would be kinda cool if there was though.

    Thanks again maties.
  9. Bisexual is always an possibility. And a damn good one at that... for me anyway. ;) I like sex. Period. With men & women. But I prefer relationships with women for a variety of reasons.
    So I'm bi, and have a great and open relationship with my girlfriend. You've just gotta find what works for you.

    Breaking down all the tired old dichotomies of identity is so freeing... don't worry about being gay or straight... just do what feels natural and good and SAFE for you. Let the rest of the world catch up.
  10. i don't want to be mean and i'm not anti-gay, but this was one of the funniest posts i've read so far... LOL... you're not gay but you wanna give head? a lot of straight guys are like that?????????? where do you guys live? San Fransisco?
  11. justaguy

    justaguy Member

    Yeah i guess it does look a little funny but i meant I'm not gay because i'm not attracted to men, just the penis. I'm very much so into women.
  12. King Dante

    King Dante Member

    It's completely normal for even the straightest men/women to have same sex fantasys. Not that the straightest men/women will ever admit to it.
  13. BuffaloSoldier, you'd better believe it.

    i was watching Jerry Springer a whlie ago (i know, i know, i was bored. so sue me) anyway there was this guy who is straight but has sex with men for money. just sex, thats it, would not do it outside his work. i couldnt believe how irrational the audience (and even Jerry) were, in saying that he's gay and thats it. thats bullshit. its not always black and white. there are so many grey areas.
  14. Legend

    Legend Member

    Dude, If You Are A Guy And You Only Like The "Penis" On A Mans Body Bust Also Like Pussy, You Are Bi-Sexual! Your Problem Is That You Cant Accept It! You Sound Confused, You Dont Want To Be Intimate With A Guy, But You Like Their Penis, Like, What The Fuck Dude... Are You Just Gonna Admire The Penis Sittin Up Between Some Guys Legs Or Are You Gonna Suck The Damn Thing!?!? ....Ahhh, Some People!!!!
  15. monosphere

    monosphere Holly's Hubby

    Legend, I'm a little confused by your post. Are you assuming that sex and intimacy are the same thing? They're not. Also, are you basing one's sexuality by the sexual acts they perform? That's also not true. I feel that both have to do with feelings, emotions, all that fluffy stuff. I can be intimate with someone without having sex with them. I can also have sex with someone without that feeling of intimacy. There are straight people who occasionally have sex with someone of the same gender. Same goes for gay folks. No feelings, just fucking. Sex feels good, no matter who you're having it with. So, don't jump to conclusions about his sexuality. You don't know for sure, only he does.
  16. Jonny6

    Jonny6 Member


    I had one friend in high school who was curious and all so we had some oral explorations at his house after work on more than one occasion. I had another friend who fantasized about the same thing. We ended up completely getting it on. It was nice. Both of them questioned themselves, but neither of them ended up gay.
    In the interest of fairness, there was a third who ended up gay but he had to have known the whole time.

    So in summery,

    Go chat with a few friends and see who's interested.

    What? How? You can't just ask something like that!

    Take it a step at a time.

    The second friend knew I was gay so he had no problem asking, but the first friend, named Justin, didn't know about me. Let me tell you how it went with Justin. We talked a little after work I think and he proposed that he, me, and his girlfriend have a threesome. I said I was up for it, even though I was only interested in him. Many guys wouldn't mind accepting such an offer and it opens the door for the next comment... A few weeks later, we were riding around in his parent’s car one evening and he made a comment; something like, "I don't know what the big deal is about giving head. I don't think it would be that weird," and then he waited to see what kind of response I gave. It then clicked what he wanted. I agreed with him and let it go for a minute before saying, "Lets go back to your house and do that." We did. :) This worked because it minimized The Risk: The Risk is being different from someone else. That's it. He first showed that he was interested in getting together with me and another chick. That's not that different. After I showed that I was with him, he took another step and said that he didn't see what the big deal was about oral explorations, to which I agreed. You just need to be slick with your questions. Play it cool. There is no need to panic if they don't agree on something. Hold your ground. Play it off. You aren’t that different. Don't use projection; it isn't the right tool.

    I've corroborated with other gay peoples and we seem to agree that 4 out of 10 guys experiment. Only 1 out of ten ends up gay- the others never tell anyone. You have friends that are thinking the same thing you are. You aren't different at all.

  17. RxHEAD

    RxHEAD Member

    Man, some advice this great guy who is gay, and as you describe a really nicd guy. He must be the only gay person who you feel you come in contact. I should hope that your plans are not to do your little "oral experiment" on this "nice guy" because I have been that "nice guy" who guys like you want to have a little "oral experimentation" thing with. Helll before you know it your meeting in the bushes in tarot town just to mess around. Sounds like this guy is the typical unsuspecting gay victom that every bi curious guy thinks will simply drop his drawers because the fact he is gay. Get a grip. So you know one gay guy, and all of the sudden he is the one. get on the internet look up some gay oral shit and jack off. Or simply figure out what the fuch you want besides a dick in your mouth.
  18. Legend

    Legend Member

    Dude, Thats Just Life, Now Fuckin Deal With It!

  19. monosphere

    monosphere Holly's Hubby

    Once again, your post makes no sense to me. What's life? The fact that you generalize and assume what's going through other people's heads? That you have absolutely no idea what true intimacy is? Or just about how unnecessarily rude you are for no apparent reason? Tell me, are you gay or bi? How did YOU first come to that conclusion? Do you actually believe it's all about sex? I feel sorry for you, to have such a closed-minded attitude towards sexuality. I think it's YOU who will eventually have to deal with your misunderstandings. But like you said, that's just life.
  20. Jonny6

    Jonny6 Member


    Obviously there are a few people here who aren’t here to help. It will be like that no matter where you go. Don't worry.

    There seems to be some discussion (one sided argument) on what it means to be bi. Guy, I'm not thinking your bi. If you were bi, more than half the world would be bi- which isn't the case. I had relations with a guy my junior year of high school but I didn't label myself bisexual for another year- only after I developed a crush on someone. That was the first time I ever wanted to be intimate with another guy- to kiss him and hold him and all that gay stuff.

    Don't let people here and people out in life tell you that you are bisexual. There is a lot more to sexuality than just sex.


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