What's the benefit of being judgmental?

If you truly didnt care what people think you'd walk around without makeup in your pyjamas all the time

Everyone judges, and you care as much as anyone

 

This makes me want to ask:

What's the difference between a strongly held position (view, opinion, conviction) and a judgment?

I don't feel judgment in your post but I do feel the intensity of conviction.

My use of the word conviction (thank you, Bill Clinton heh)

Noun1.conviction - an unshakable belief in something without need for proof or evidence


Not this conviction, which *is* judgment

2.conviction - (criminal law) a final judgment of guilty in a criminal case and the punishment that is imposed; "the conviction came as no surprise"

 

I'm not a very judgmental person, but I do find myself being judgmental if I think someone is doing something just for attention. I can't stand attention whores. Other than that, I'm usually more comfortable around people who dress weird or have weird mannerisms. I don't like to be judged at all so I would rather hang out with someone who is more likely to be judged by society at large; this type of person is less likely to judge others and that's cool with me.

 

Why do we feel the need to separate one form of judgement from another? Is it so we can safely discuss one form of judgement without having to feel guilty or hypocritical about having ever judged others in other ways?

 

Wow! After looking through this thread, among many, I'm surprised how many people use semantics to try to make themselves appear to be correct, and even more times, make someone else seem incorrect.

The everyday use of the phrase "being judgemental" means to look at something or someone as being bad, or beneath one's self, or not up to one's standards. That should be obvious to most everone. I'm sure there are going to be many to pull out a dictionary definition of "judge", "judgement", "judgemental", etc..., and try to seem intelligent in trying to make this post appear to be full of inconsistencies and incorrect statements, or appear to be wrong, or contradictory, or whatever just like some did with the original poster. If anyone posting on here doesn't understand the intent of the OP, I suggest that you spend more time in the real world, and see how people converse without picking apart each statement that is made in front of you, in order to make someone appear in error.

This is the most diverse discussion forum that I have ever been to, however it is also the one with the most members that apparently don't have much contact with other humans outside of the web, where such behavior would surely have to change if one wanted to continue to interact and not seem like a fucking weird son of a bitch.

No judgement here. Just pointing out my observations.

 

I dress for myself. I don't give
a single shit about what anyone's opinion is about it. If it's for a special occasion, I might ask how everything looks, but it's not that I'm seeking attention or approval. Just a second opinion.

THANK YOU. You totally got the point of this thread.

 

Wow, lots of posts here, not gonna read em all but I read a few.

Judgmental and why are we.

We are judgmental because we all have different values.

If I didn't want to be judged by someone I wouldn't tell them about myself. If I want to be I would tell, now here's the trick. As was said by Lunaverse, judgmental is both positive and negative and if we only want the positive and get mad at the negative we only want one thing. For everyone to agree which puts us in a state of Yes! I'm doing great when in fact we might not be totally or there could be one small thing wrong with it but it's what we want to hear.
If I bought something and put it on and my friends all said I looked great and later I heard someone say "not really but we wanted you to feel happy about it and proud to wear it so we let you wear it without telling you it was not so good in the back" I would be angry. Yes a negative sets us back one but better that then realizing later someone should have said something. So why did I ask them if it looked great and they lied? Is it because they know I hate negatives and were bowing to that? Are my friends that good to me that they actually don't care about me or do I make a fuss they don't want to deal with so "yes" is better?
So you put yourself on a web with many walks of life,,, do you expect no one to say I couldnt do that? Really? Because if you do you are wrong, unless you think no one here gives a shit about you or anyone on that site. We could all just say it's great what you do and everyone get along, or we could be real and say we just couldn't, now if we stepped in to slam you and say "You are bad, you are shit for doing that" ya we'd be slamming you but for us to disagree with what someone does and say so is us being as honest as you yourself for saying you do it. I never saw anyone slam you but maybe I missed a thread where they did.
Let's put it this way, you have a right, as I do to say we do different things and another reader has that same right to agree or disagree. Am I wrong?
Now if you don't like both positives and negatives but you must say what you want to it's best you say it and don't come back to read the results. In my opinion people say their bit sometimes to test the waters, check if there are others who would,,, and that's ok but really, you wanna get hurt because someone disagrees with you?
You can have all the sweets you want and just get fat by skipping on the meats and veggies and that's ok. You can sit back and hear all the positives about yourself and be left in the dark of all other cultures and beliefs all you want and never see that there is another side,,, see how only the good doesn't do us any good? If we want only one thing, positives it's best we ask just our very close friends who know what we Want to enter a thread, or be in our lives.
The real world is ugly it has fields of beautiful flowers and wild animals that tromp on them but in the end they don't die, because it happened, you will see that field again still flourishing. Now I can't say it will be there should a developer come along and park a great big building there but will we find another field of beautiful flowers and realize life is still good positively and negatively? Yes. The positive of the developer is he made room for our ever growing populations, or, we could stop having kids. See it's positive now? The good comes with the bad and if people in religion are right we get everything good we want in heaven. I want people up there to never say the word no. I want lots of chocolate cake, every day and to not gain any weight, I want sunny days every day, I hear that's how it is up there.
Until then I have to see both sides and be happy someone disagreed and someone agreed and I get to judge the answers and decide for myself rather then let others walk on me by not sharing truthfully. Or,,, I say nothing and keep my positives in my head all to myself and be happy.
Seriously, if your friends don't give you some friction about anything at all they are not your friends. If they won't say they could or couldn't and why, they don't care about your values either, they keep secrets.
I don't care what you do but if you care to say it I care to say my bit too, it's a two way street in life and if you are not used to that then you are in for a big surprise some day, and it could be that your undies were hanging out of your clothing all night at a dance and no one cared to tell you in fear of you getting mad.
Sorry this was so long but I type fast and now I gotta go, hee hee.

 

Since I'm the one who provided definitions .. you must certainly be indirectly speaking about me.

But why not just address me directly?

I most absolutely did do it on purpose! And you nailed all of my motivations, perfectly. I really do want to make people seem incorrect. On purpose. And I really do want to make myself appear to be correct. Totally on purpose. And it's wicked obvious.

Except, those projections are not true. None of those things are *my* motive. Nobody asked, so to presume to know my motive is simply playing a guessing game.

I responded to the OP's focus of shallow, superficial judging. My response was on topic.

My second post in this thread .. well, I don't think anyone really gives a shit what I have to say anyway. And people are going to believe what they want, so even if I explained - in meticulous detail - why I responded the way I did .. it isn't going to matter.

 

Wow, I guess the topic of being judgmental brings out the judge in us. LOL:smash:

I agree with *MAMA*, mrmic and lunaverse, all have valid points, yet ultimately lunar is fundamentally correct.
Just by creating the thread, *MAMA*, you have considered others behavior and have come to some conclusion concerning them and created this thread based on that conclusion or judgement.

Like most things, it is a matter of perspective and if we are willing to include our own selves and our own behavior in that perspective or not.
In a sense *MAMA* has adopted a stance of not including herself in her perspective for the purposes of this thread. That is very normal and is how we most often handle this evaluation process. It's a basic survival instinct.

Lunar is pointing out the perspective the includes considering one's own actions according to the same criteria.

Being "judgmental" is as I mentioned at it's heart a survival instinct and EVERYONE does it constantly in order to navigate their world.
It boils down to the very rudimentary survival tactic "us vs them", it's that simple.
As humans progressed and developed more and more complex systems of communication and refined group dynamics, judging of others outside of ones' own group had immediate survival advantages.
We are simply still doing the same thing.


We all "judge" others constantly regardless if we admit it to ourselves or not.
By the same token, we all are concerned about being judged, regardless if we admit it to ourselves or not.
I catch myself all the time making erroneous judgement calls and say to myself, "Nox, you ass .".

Hip Forums membership attests to that very basic and human need to belong to a group and to judge others to be either worthy of admittance to the group or not.

Every single one of you when you joined went through a period of "judging" the site and other members, as did they to you, both trying to ascertain if the other was "worthy" of inclusion in the group.

If you have thumbed up or down any posts, you are passing judgement, if you use the rep system, you are passing judgement, etc., etc., :bobby:

Of course I "get" *MAMA*'s intention of creating this thread, but I'm totally with lunar in the overall "judgement" concerning the topic.


But I do have a question for some of you who posted that you don't care about what others think, I little puzzling considering some of you are the most prolific "selfie" pic posters here.

not making any judgement calls concerning it, just an observation.

 

The every day meaning of words is often contrived and long removed (by being overused in an "every day" context) from it's original meaning. The word faggot for example has numerous meanings. All benign. Yet it's over used in an every day context that's made it mean something else. There is a difference between every day meaning and literal meaning. If you wish to communicate in the every day sense of the word, that's your business. But there's nothing wrong with examining the literal sense and how it's used.

God forbid we think outside of the every day.

One can simply agree with their peers to avoid discomfort which is often more socially favorable by those afraid to ruffle feathers or desperate to fit in. This is being dishonest with oneself though. Why have ideas if we're afraid to speak or share them because it will be socially unfavorable?

As for being a weird son of a bitch. I don't see it as a negative thing. Weird people are often the most interesting. Uninhibited by the burden of every day uses and meaning. That's why Hipforums is an interesting place.

 

That's the kind of thing I was trying to illustrate as an example of the kind of judgement that was being deliberately left out of the discussion to further people's points. Unfortunately I'm nowhere near as eloquent with words. I write more in the every day kind of way..

The rep system and friends list of this site alone displays our willingness to judge and be judged. We deem these people worthy of friendship. We judge them to be funny, smart, interesting, etc.

 

Imagine if we could never judge people? We would all probably be dead or seriously injured. If you meet someone who seems evil--well, that is a judgement. If you couldn't judge them as evil right away, who knows what they could do to you!

Judgement probably serves an evolutionary basis. We need the ability to quickly understand people and situations that should be approached or avoided. A lot of this isn't relevant to the common issues we face today, but it still benefits us sometimes.

 

Yeah, I think that's what I said


So there is your answer *MAMA*, the benefit of being judgmental is survival of the species.

 

Sorry, Noxious, I had feeling it had already been said, but your post was tldr. . Forgive me!

 

really?
Man, I go to great lengths to break my posts up into sensible paragraphs and readable sections.....

 

My thoughts too Luna and Nox,,, thanks for those.

I was on a site a few years ago where one woman stood out above the rest because everyone spent more time buttering her up. I wondered why then it happened, someone disagreed with her and she took to telling us she cried. She came back with a bunch of slams back at what turned out to be several and more of, "You made me cry" then I looked back and sure enough. It was a major personal attack for anyone to disagree with her. Sad she got along so well when all was a heaven for her but couldn't take her knocks. I miss her, she was kinda fun, in a weird way. It was a small fairly new site for bird watching, why all the personal care for this woman?

 

Usually, I would. You have good posts. I did a lot of reading this morning and I'm kind of burned out.

 

Further inquiry might reveal something beyond a simple disagreement. If people were buttering her up (built her up) then disagreed with something (tear her down), then .. well I think that makes it something very different from a disagreement.