What's Happening?

I just like to shake things up.

 

Aahhh, ok.

 

That's my dog, Emma.

I'll probably put up a friendlier picture of her.

 

I figured it was a pic of your dog. How old is she?

 

She's 10 years old. This pic is from 2013, though.

 

Y'all...I figured something out this morning.

I've been pouting since about August.

No wonder I feel like shit.

I've got to fix this.

 

That musta been one fucked up brownie

 

Hi hi!
So omg, it turns out the anxiety med I was taking was conflicting with other health issues. I'd rather not complicate that. So, I'm kinda giddy anxious psycho whathaveyou me again. I'm anxious and super gungho (sp??) about getting this writing stuff. writing writing writing. omg is that all she talks about??
*sigh* *breath* *chill*
I'm not looking to push myself too hard because I want to maintaim my health and not literally get that psycho crazy, especially since it's Spring and the days are shorter and I'm already at that disadvantage of being hyper and sleepless. Phew! Anyway,...

dude, I'm chill enough, I just was trying to make a point. Sorry if I scared anyone. Supposing that's how the inside of my head is though, but i'm chill! I'm chill!

p.s. go check out my colors. I can zone out to those nature pics for hours!
edit: I meant to say, I uploaded, check out if you want to.

 

I need some of your energy!

 

She is smiling ! cant get any Friendlier than that

 

ha! people have told me that my whole life. Believe me, the anxiety kinda makes it not as fun as you'd imagine, but I guess it's ok sometimes. (I ultimately took something today to alleviate this a bit. It got really "itchy". Not pleasant. But now I'm just 'woo hoo!" ha! a little bit. It's also hard to focus on difficult tasks, so I'm working on art and writing until I get bored or feel I've wasted enough time. I've gotta get to work though! Ugh.

haha! omg. Ok, i'll admit someone else shared this once before when they had to go to work, but it's all so right on, so I'm passing it forward (I really like this band on its own though). This is how my mind feels right now. lol and then I try to calm myself down so i can do the work. hehe

 

Yes! That's the new friendlier pic.

 

This is the song I often give to people that sums up how I feel with the bipolar and all that energy. It's all in the tempo! Just a whirl wind of emotion. One of my fav. Songs when I'm headed for the lows.

Whyyyy can't I settle dowwwn PICK IT UP PICK IT UP PICK IT UP!

 

meep..

 

Yep pretty much, like the road runner. 24/7. Hehe. On the move on the go, like a trampling elephant or a 100 mile wolf hunt. Non stop. Can't stop. Tried the drugs they don't work!

 

Stress worry stress worry stress worry worry worry

 

Anxiety anxiety, crook guts.

 

So what have you got left on your "to do" list for the wedding?

 

Nothing. just gotta get on a plane on Friday and get there. That's it. We have everything all is packed all is made all is well and good. Just waiting waiting now. no stress or anxiety in terms of the wedding. The biggest question surrounding the wedding is my time after it. I'm honestly considering giving up the social media type stuff and this forum. Dunno, just some things been off lately that's put me off and tbh I feel like it could be time to get on with life. But I probably won't lol. Who'm I kidding!

I just look at my life now and nothing wrong with it, but I feel marriage is meant to grow me into something more than who I am and what I've got now. I can't really explain it. All I know is if I'm not enjoying something as much then I'm wasting away my time and life doing it.

Its been on my mind for a couple of weeks now. I just don't know what to do. I guess I feel like, well tbh, nobody gives a fuck about me on here anymore I feel like I'm talking to myself 2/3 of the time, I don't really get enjoyment coming here at the moment. Feels like this place is just such a negative vibe for me. I'm meant to be fun and outrageous as always and now I just censor myself for others benefits and that's not who I am, so if I can't feel comfortable being who I am, then why do I?