What would you do?

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by josh989, Mar 6, 2012.

  1. josh989

    josh989 Member

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    So basically my ex dumped me for this guy we used to hang out with together about a month ago. I'm over it, going after a different girl, and clearly see she isn't for me. Thing is my ex and her friends are always at the parties I go to, it's basically impossible to avoid them if I want to continue going to these things, and I do. They want to keep hang out with me regularly but I think it would be awkward being around her and her new BF, but if I just ignore them then it'll be just as awkward when I see them at parties, probably even more so. What would you do in this situation? I don't want to come off as a dick, and it's not that I don't like any of them, it's just I think it's going to be weird if I'm around them considering what happened.
     
  2. LoveBuzz

    LoveBuzz Member

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    How long was you with your ex girl?
     
  3. josh989

    josh989 Member

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    Only a few months.
     
  4. I'minmyunderwear

    I'minmyunderwear Newbie

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    i would just go and hang out with other people.

    and try to avoid getting excessively drunk and saying something stupid to her.
     
  5. Cherea

    Cherea Senior Member

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    If it came to it, I would tell her that I`d like to limit contact in order to protect my feelings. Then, I could go to these parties, keep it at howsing, and there`d be no big elephant in the room.

    Otherwise, I would just say "Hi!" and go on to socialize with others, as has been suggested.
     
  6. LoveBuzz

    LoveBuzz Member

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    I know its hard but when at partys and stuff I would just say Hi and go on. It will get easier and you will find another girl. Like you said you dont wanna seem like a dick and if ya said anything it would be weird. You wasn't with her for a very long time so I would just try and deal as best you can and try and move on , ya know? I know things like this are always easier said than done though.
     
  7. josh989

    josh989 Member

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    It's not just parties, they also want me to come chill at their house!
     
  8. Heat

    Heat Smile, it's contagious! :) Lifetime Supporter

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    I would respectfully decline the house get together.

    Parties and other social venues at least allow walk away room, stick to those.
     
  9. Cherea

    Cherea Senior Member

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    Definitely.

    She seems real ditzy and insensitive to your feelings that she would even invite you to those, considering she dumped you for this guy.

    Gee!!!

    Edit: The other thing is, if she`s inviting you to things, that means you`re communicating with her. I would cut off communication other than accidentally meeting them, and saying a respectful but curt "Hi."

    If she doesn`t understand why, then let her be a retard on her own.
     
  10. lively_girl

    lively_girl Member

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    If you feel awkward when seeing them together you obviously still have some unresolved feelings. Normal, since it's only been a month. Give it time, tell them you need some space and don't pay them too much attention at those parties. Some distance usually helps. Later, when you stop caring about the break up, you'll be able to decide if you still want to spend time with them or not.

    It won't be awkward when everybody involved is over this ex relationship. I bet your ex has some unresolved issues about it as well. Probably feels bad that she dumped you and this "wanting to hang out" is her way of dealing with bad conscience. Because if you can all be friends than all is well and she didn't mess up with your feelings too much, right? I'm not saying that she doesn't want to be your friend, just that a break-up effects everybody involved. At least that's my experience.
     
  11. josh989

    josh989 Member

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    I'm not really communicating with her other than hello when I see her. It's her friends who I talk to and it's them who invite me to come hang out, not her. I just don't want to lose 3-4 friends because of it.
     
  12. josh989

    josh989 Member

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    No I don't think I have much feelings left for her. I think the break up worked out for both of us. She seems a lot happier with the new guy, and the girl I'm after has 10x more in common with me than she did. I guess I just think it would be awkward for either me, her, or her new BF (he went after her while he knew I was dating her). Maybe I'm overthinking it a bit.
     
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