What to not tell the cops

"what about all those times I wasn't driving on the wrong side of the road? ever think about stopping me to say thanks?"

 

I swear the stop sign was green officer

 

"you'd look better in pink"

 

"thank god you're here officer! Look at all these idiots driving on the wrong side of the freeway!"

 

Are you a stripper?

 

*mumbles* "I knew I should have stolen a faster car".

 

Look, I needed a blowjob, and she needed money...where is the problem?

 

respond "why" to everything they say

 

"so just out of curiosity; what's the statuete of limitatians for running over a cop?"

 

so, think you could beat me in a quarter mile?

 

THATS NOT FAIR!!!!


i said pause

 

"Ya know, I wanted to be a cop when I was a kid. Of course someof us grow out of that phase".

 

**lick your fingers and pick his/her uniform somewhere**
"Say baby, why dont we get you outta those wet things?"

 

"Flunked the fire dept. exam huh?"

 

I thought you waitresses wore rollerskates

 

"speed's relative ya know".

 

"hey man.. got a lighter.. its been a long day and i need to get high"

 

those pants make you look fat and thats a stupid hat.

 

"Here we are on a planet thast spinning 1000mph as it orbits the sun at 73,000 miles an hour which is part of a solar system rocketing severel 100,000mph hour through space....
ask yourself; what's another 125mph really matter in the big scheme of things?"

 

nice dog. I bet mine can woop yours' ass.