What To Do?

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by bukkakeguy, Jan 21, 2017.

  1. bukkakeguy

    bukkakeguy Member

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    I've been with my partner for 14years, no kids, engaged for the last 6years (we've always both felt no real need to set a wedding date & have been happy with the way things are).
    Up until 3years ago we've had a fantastic sex life but then she got breast cancer, it was the least aggressive and the doctors caught it super early so we were lucky & after the operation to remove the cancer she had to undergo 15 sessions of radiotherapy, the docs explained the sessions may make her extremely tired, fatigued n no energy and it affects patients differently as to how long this fatigue lasts.
    So understandably there's been minimal sexual shenanigans happening between since 2013 when she found out about the cancer and the radiotherapy sessions took place March, April n may 2014 and the tiredness from these radiotherapy sessions still affect her to present day.
    She's over 2years now in remission & has to stay on her medication until 5years and it's the medication and fatigue which she says is to account for her loss of sex drive.
    She has a 4day working week and her spare time is took up with dog minding.
    I think last year we made love maybe half a dozen times, last time was late September & I know she's gone through with it just to try and please me but I would rather not have it at all if that's all she's doing it for.

    I love her to bits but the last 2months I'm finding I'm becoming distant & even cold towards her n I'm hating myself for it.
    My trouble is I'm not a good communicator with things like this and if I was to tell her what I've wrote here she would be in bits and possibly feel the need to try n please me which i would hate myself more for.

    I guess most couples go through the scenario of one losing their sex drive & the other with plenty of mileage left in the tank, so I'd like to hear from anyone out there of how they've handled it.

    Thanks for reading.
     
  2. drumminmama

    drumminmama Super Moderator Super Moderator

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    You do know that chemotherapy, especially the ongoing firms, change hormone levels, right?
     
  3. bukkakeguy

    bukkakeguy Member

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    Yes, of course.
    As I explained in my post my partner underwent 15 sessions of radiotherapy.
    I was hoping to hear from partners who've been through something similar n how they handled it
     
  4. WOLF ANGEL

    WOLF ANGEL Senior Member - A Fool on the Hill Lifetime Supporter

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    Maybe you should share your post - sent to many - with the person to whom you cannot seem to talk to = Communication has various forms of delivery
    If she was to read it, she may indeed be upset, but 'something,' is that which can be dealt with, whereas 'nothing', see Nothing, change
     

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