What to do when I want sex but don't want a relationship?

Discussion in 'Love and Sex' started by Bella Désordre, Jan 30, 2007.

  1. Bella Désordre

    Bella Désordre Charmed

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    This is sooo frustrating. I want to get laid, but I don't want a relationship and I don't believe in having sex outside of a serious relationship...It's been 3 months...this is the longest I've gone without sex and I'm going nuts.
    What do ya'll do when you want it but don't want anybody?
     
  2. rachaelc

    rachaelc Member

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    Masturbation is a wonderful thing
     
  3. TheMadcapSyd

    TheMadcapSyd Titanic's captain, yo!

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    See if any of your male friends that aren't taken are up for one night stands.
     
  4. Bella Désordre

    Bella Désordre Charmed

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    I've done that before...always turns into a relationship because you have the friendship already and then once you find out there's a physical attraction too it makes it seem like a good idea at the time.



     
  5. Bella Désordre

    Bella Désordre Charmed

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    I suck at it
     
  6. ihmurria

    ihmurria fini

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    word

    What to do? eh, hit up an ex for a booty call? Er, not that I've been contemplating that or anything o_O
     
  7. seamonster66

    seamonster66 discount dracula

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    how about becoming a whore?
     
  8. Bella Désordre

    Bella Désordre Charmed

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    hahaaaaaaa i've done that in the past...that leads to reconnecting and to a relationship too and a relationship that is always doomed to fail. Why can't exes just be okay with getting the goodies and not the whole package...fuckers (not literally...because as specified in this thread I am not getting laid). The two exes out here who are availible aren't that good in bed either...in fact I would rather load the dishwasher than have sex with them.
     
  9. fexurbis

    fexurbis Member

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    So...You're saying you want sex only within the context of a relationship but you don't want a relationship?



    Do you realize what that implies? It's like saying you want to eat only if you don't have to put food in your mouth.
     
  10. Bella Désordre

    Bella Désordre Charmed

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    I understand, but there's always a loophole. Like with food, you can eat through IV. I just need to find this loop hole.

    I know what hasn't worked in the past and that's me being a relationship when I am not ready, fucking my friends, using exes for sex and masturbating. I don't think I could do the one night stand thing. Almost did last month but couldn't go through with it...though everyone is telling me at least one is a nessecity just for the experience. I don't think I could do it man.

     
  11. Zanarkand

    Zanarkand Member

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    The loophole that you mentioned could be the porn industry.
     
  12. dutch

    dutch Member

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    Need to find a fuck buddy...someone who you are a friend to and who only wants sex as well. Not the easiest person to find.
     
  13. hippychickmommy

    hippychickmommy Sugar and Spice

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    Invest in a good vibrator with all the fixings! [​IMG]
     
  14. Minibyte

    Minibyte Member

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    best to get a vibrator and learn to use that,at least there is no arguements with one
     
  15. fexurbis

    fexurbis Member

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    You're taking the metaphor too far, if want to consider IV "eating"...Anyway, you know what I was trying to say: your attitude toward sex has gotten you in a corner. If you want neither commited nor uncommited sex, by definition you're not going to be having much sex at all because those are the only two kinds of sexual experiences to be had.

    I'd say, review your assumptions with an open mind. Make adjustments. That you can do.
     
  16. AndyTampa

    AndyTampa Member

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    There's always the least accepted option of having sex with someone who's already in a relationship. That way he won't become attached to you.
     
  17. Bella Désordre

    Bella Désordre Charmed

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    Nope...I don't do taken men. That's a bit desperate.

    I wouldn't be able to even look at a vibrator without cracking up either. I know I have a stuffy attitude towards sex. I just need to learn how to accept it and get a lot of chocolate to replace sex until i am ready. CHocolate I think is the answer for now :D hahaaaaa

     
  18. fexurbis

    fexurbis Member

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    Where do your hang ups come from? What were you told growing up?
     
  19. Bella Désordre

    Bella Désordre Charmed

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    my mom's really liberal she actually told me if I ever need birth control to please ask and she won't ask any questions. I had always wanted to save it until I got married, was with the same guy for 5 years and when he and I ended things I just went crazy and slept with 3 more people in one year. Now I'm kind of just getting back to the way I used to be. I love making out and do it every chance I get so I don't have hang-ups on anything except for intercourse.

    But where do morals stop and hang-ups begin?

     
  20. fexurbis

    fexurbis Member

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    That is a good question. You say your mom is really liberal... But you aren't simply born wanting to "save it until" marriage. It tells me there were other influences in your life concerning sex. And more conservative ones at that. Where is your father in all this?

    What was your experience with schoolmates? Were popular or not? Etc, etc.

    I don't wish to be a pain in the ass and psychoanalyze you, but I know questioning the sources that influenced my thinking has helped me a lot. It appears it would help you right this moment because your ideas concerning sex aren't allowing you the freedom to derive pleasure from it.

    I have to admit to being extremely skeptical of anything relating to "saving it" until whenever. That virginity is a thing to be "lost" is a silly Christian prejudice IMHO. And that is the attitude I have toward most "moral" dogmas.

    Long live free thought! Cheers.
     
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