What to do about this control issue?

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by Doctor Dave, Jul 23, 2014.

  1. Doctor Dave

    Doctor Dave Member

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    I have a control issue, where for some reason I need to be the one in charge.

    I would like to know.. how can I cure this.. because I am 27 years old and if I'm going to get over this and maintain a lasting relationship, I would probably need to change....

    What can I do?
     
  2. angelica peaches

    angelica peaches Member

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    You need to find a close friend and have them hold you accountable. It is really hard to het it under control- haha, but you are right you can not have a successful relationship when you are so controlling. ;( Good Luck!
     
  3. KingWilly

    KingWilly Member

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    The need to be or feel in control is probably that stems from your childhood or upbringing. It's more or less engrained in you and not an easy thing to "turn off." It's most definitely a conscious effort on your part to have faith in the abilities of others even know they may fall short of your expectations. That and remembering that you aren't perfect either...

    Either that or you can try to find someone who is very submissive and needs or desires to be controlled. Such cases aren't the norm but there may be someone out there who needs that.
     
  4. monkjr

    monkjr Senior Member

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    A psychologist might be worth seeking out.

    And good self effort to dissociate from yourself and kinda see yourself in the 3rd person is also a good skill to have but I acknowledge not everyone can do this.
     
  5. Moonglow181

    Moonglow181 Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

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    The right one for you just might come together and fit, so it may not be an issue....:)
    Maybe you control part of it, and she controls other things....like the kitchen ...or whatever she is good at....and you take control in what you do better than her, and it becomes a team.
     
  6. Doctor Dave

    Doctor Dave Member

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    No I can cook for myself, and I don't want some weird submissive girl....

    I would like to just let someone be who they are....

    women aren't meant to be controlled or subordinate.... I like them for who they are.
     
  7. Moonglow181

    Moonglow181 Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

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    You obviously misunderstood what i was saying. Who said anything about weird and submissive....? yuck
    I said....a team is where two people come together and both have different strengths and can help the friendship, union or whatever.......and it works out, where no one has to try to control everythig. You are the one who said you had a control issue......
     
  8. Moonglow181

    Moonglow181 Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

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    and one does not have to be a bitch or bastard all of the time either to prove they are strong and independant. Kindness does show strength....believe it or not.
     
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