What the hell is wrong with me?

Hmm..This post isn't really for anyone inparticular. It's just for me to gather my thoughts. I doubt anyone could follow it anyways because, honestly, I don't even know how I feel and i'm very confused. Here's the thing:

My boyfriend and I had been dating for 8 months. I broke up with him because I didnt think the relationship was going anywhere. We then got back together in hopes that things would work out. Well, after about a month, there weren't any sparks and I was busy so we didnt get to hang out that much. He broke up with me a few days ago, and I was thinking about breaking up with him, so I was fine with it.

He told me that he's been thinking about this other girl lately...>ouch< We had a disagreement and now he's trying to avoid me. I'm trying to get over this, but I can't. It's just so odd to know someone for that long, then just totally dismiss them out of your life like that. Why am I having so much trouble with this? It's not like I'm breaking down and crying. Actually, I try to cry as little as possible because I want to be strong and not break down at every little thing.

I should be relieved that he broke up with me, but I'm not. I just wan't to talk to him. Maybe I just miss the relationship and not him, or maybe I just miss having a relationship in general. He seems to be over it...why can't I. I don't understand..and I don't understand how I feel. I suppose only time can heal this. I try to go out and do fun things to keep my mind off of this, but it stays hidden in the back of my mind. Ahh..I hate this...what's my problem.

 

wll first of all you post was very understandable (to me anyway)

when reading it i noticed that you seem'd upset after you mentioned this 'other girl' so there is a distinct possibility that jealousy is at least part of the problem.

considering you were thinking of braking up with him again there probably wasn't any "sparks" left BUT this doesn't mean you dont miss his friendship and companionship. on the other hand maybe the relationship simply got stale because you got bored being in the same relationship for so long.

and finally maybe you dont miss him that much you just miss having a relationship and the fact he has already moved on makes this even harder, in any case so long as he is happy you have your health, friends and enough money to get by then should try and focus on being happy and the rest will work out.

im not sure if this has helped but i guess you can take comfort in fact that i (some stranger who will [most likely] never see you) is hoping you feel better.

P.S. do you think you two could become friends or is he not open to that idea?
oh and cry if you need to no one will judge you (particuly because you are a girl!!!)

 

Lol, i'm feeling better today. It's almost like it disappeared overnight. I think it was because I gathered up all my thoughts, waded them into a giant ball, and threw them in the trashcan >on this matter anyway.< The girl isn't really the issue. I mean, it upsets me that he found someone so quickly, but not really. What upsets me is the fact that he acts as if our relationship never happened. Him trying to avoid me, him not talking to me...it's just weird. I can't exclude someone out of my life like that...but I suppose he has no problem with it >this leads me to believe he's rather heartless<

Oh and btw, thank you for your post, it was sweet of you. The last part made me laugh out loud . I'm not so emotionally hurt by it that I would break down into tears. I try not to make a habit out of crying because it does nothing for you; it only depresses you more and makes the issue harder to get over. But nehoo, I think i'm well on my way to recovery, I just stumbled a little.

 

There's nothing wrong with you. You're suposed to feel sad when a relationship ends. It's perfectly natural.

 

glad to hear you're feeling better.

your ex might not be as heartless as you think he could be stugling with his own emotional issues around you, perhaps things changed for him when you broke up with him (the first time around). on the other hand perhaps he is just heartless.

maybe give it time and you two could patch up a friendship, if not you sound like a well adjusted girl that has plenty of other friends and failing that there is always hipforums! once again glad ya feeling better