What should I do?

My friend's husband stopped goign to his marine reservist training days, because 'they don't pay him enough and what can they really do if he doesn't go?' He also got demoted at his full-time job and will most likely be demoted further to part-time, thus losign his benefits and they have a baby.
By not showing up to the reserves, he is most likely going to get a 'other than honerable' seperation and won't find a good job with that.
Should I let my friend know this is in fact a big deal, or should I stay out and let them find out the hard way?
I mentioned it gently, but she argued. She's very protective over her husband. IMO he doesn't do what needs to be done, you know?

 

That sounds serious enough he might do time for it. I don't know anything about how the military works in such situations, though.

 

here's another thing that is like 'WTF, you guys shouldn't be allowed to have kids'. They moved into a new place, never thought to ask if it came with a fridge or washer and dryer, they just assumed it would-even though there was no fridge or washer and dryer when they looked at the place.
When they found out, after they moved, there is no fridge or washer and dryer, my friend's Dad had to buy them all three and set them up. What kind of man lets his father-in-law do that?
They both trash my friend's dad too, because he' tells them how to handle their finances'.
Seriously-you guys should not be allowed to have a child.

 

I think he is right about quitting a job that requires him to die for his country.

 

he can be held on base for all the days he missed! Should I tell her? It could ruin a friendship forever.

 

He never should have signed up then! We don't draft people here. He signed up because he needed the bonus (I am guessing).

 

In that case I think he should take his responsibilities and face it like a real man. And I think it would almost be expected of you to tell them.

 

If your friend is dumb enough to let your concern ruin your friendship, she's not worth your time and energy. If she'd get upset over that, she'd probably be more offended if he does suffer consequences that you foresaw and you didn't warn her first.

 

If it were me I would stay out of it at this point and just be there for moral support if she comes to you.

 

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, Cna you guys talk amongst yourselves and come to a unanamous conclusion? It would make ti easer for me.

 

Here's the other thing, I flat out don't respect deserters. How can you be married to someone like that and think it's okay? It just makes me mad that my husband is goign on a boat for six months and hers can't even do his reservist day after he took the money and health benefits from it! He signed up!

 

How do you feel Marc, you're a vetran. Would you be able to hang with soemoen who signed up adn then backed out? I have no problem with deserters who were drafted and came back, but if you sign up, you're stuck imo.

 

I don't really see how it's any of your bnz.

 

Drafted is one thing. You had no choice. Enlisting is different. You made the choice, deal with it.

 

Call the MP's and have him taken to the brig..haha..I kid

I don't think he is considered a deserter just yet..probably just UA and would most probably get office hours once he shows back up..if it does go to deserter status, it is considered a felony and he can get a dishonorable dishcharge..during a time of war this is something under the UCMJ that can be punished by death..

 

He can miss 9 times, after that they are suppose to process him out immediately.

 

and then like you said before, he won't be able to get a good job that supports his family and has benefits. I just don't see how all four of us are goign to be able to hang out together. I don't see our friendship as a foursome happening. Any comment we make is going to sound back handed because you are the antithesis of him.

 

I'm goign to tell her. How should I start off the email? I need to do it by email, or else she won't be able to listen and process it because she'll be defensive. If it's through an email, at lest she can go and look back at it when she is calm and show it to her husband.
I am just worried that she is going to live in her fantasy world until she is homeless, or living with her parents, whom she hates.

 

it's none of your damn business

 

the man's an idiot and his wife's an idiot. if they want to be homeless, let them.