What should I do?

Discussion in 'Coming Out and Confused!' started by Lembicca, Apr 27, 2007.

  1. Lembicca

    Lembicca Member

    I came out to my dad yesterday. I told him that me and my best friend were more than just friends. He did not take it well. At first he thought it was a joke, but when I told him this was for real he got crazy.

    He never hit me before. Not even a spanking when I was a little kid. Last night he balled his fist up and punched me in the stomach. The pain was bad but what was most shocking was that he could do something like that to me. I mean, this man is my dad. I loved him and I thought he loved me. He punched me and I fell down and curled into a ball and he got down and kept punching me. He started screaming that no son of his was a faggot.

    I guess his fist started to hurt because then he grabbed me by the neck and started dragging me across the floor. There wasn't much I could do. I'm 17 and kind of small. He's a big guy. Does hard work, so he has muscles. Anyway he dragged me all the way to my room down the hall, threw open the door, and pulled me inside. Then he cussed at me some more and gave me a real vicious punch to the stomach. Even though the earlier hits hurt I realized he had been holding back. His fist hit me like a bullet train. He left me there like that gasping for air and slammed the door shut. In fact he hit me so hard I started vomitting. Honestly I don't know if it was the punch or just the terror.

    Oh my god. I didn't go to school today and I haven't left my room at all. I can hear my dad in the living room watching TV and I'm terrified. I can't believe this happened. I loved my dad and i thought maybe it would upset him but he'd understand. Oh god. What should I do? I thought about calling the police but I'm worried. What if they just come over and have a talk with my dad and then they leave? I really truly think he might kill me. I can't believe I just said that about my own father but the anger and the hate was like nothing I ever saw before. I'm terrified.
  2. CrazybutLazy

    CrazybutLazy Banned

    If I were you I wouldn't even have to think about it. I would lock my door, and barricade it with something. Then I'd call the police with the phone and have my father arrested. I would feel no guilt and I wouldn't ever regret it.

    But if this affects your decision, remember that those punches may have just been the manifestation of his shock. But if I were you I would call the police.
  3. Lembicca

    Lembicca Member

    Well my dad came in. He did not apolgize but on the bright side he did not hit me either.

    He told me he wants me out of the house. He said I have until sunday night and then he's ripping all my stuff out of my room and throwing it away.

    I'm really worried. I don't know where to go or what to do. My mom died when I was 3 and i dont really have any close relatives. The few I do have live halfway across the country.

    I have no clue where to go or what I'm going to do with myself if he's serious about this.
  4. yarapario

    yarapario Village Elder

    Call Children and Family services or what ever service agency you have for kids. Ask them for help. Get out of there now. Don't wait for him to come back and throw you out. Check in the yellow pages for any type of gay hotline in your area. There has got to be some kind of advocacy or protection you can get. Right now don't worry about loving your dad...get the hell away from him before he loses it comlpetely and really does permanent damage. In the future he may come to his senses...right now he is a danger to your well being and maybe your life. Don't jack around, get out and get safe.
  5. amp7325

    amp7325 Visitor


    No one should ever be treated like that. I'd probably call the police if I were in your situation.

    Do you have a friend whose house you could stay at for a little while?
  6. yarapario

    yarapario Village Elder

    Get out of there with whatever you need before the Sunday deadline and try to leave when hes not around. If what you described is true your life may be in danger. Try the cops if nothing else.
  7. SlickyPants

    SlickyPants Member

    Wow... I'm at a loss of words. Reading that was really heartwrenching.

    I'm not sure where you live but like others have said, look in the phonebook and give Child and Family Services a call... Hell, I would leave the house right away and find a payphone and get the operator to put you through to CFS. I'm sure if you tell them it is an emergency they will connect you with no charge.

    If you have any close friends, preferably one who already knows you're gay -- maybe you could stay at their place for a bit. I'd still give CFS a call though and soon.

    I'm still shocked. I always wish there was something I could do to help but that people over the internet generally don't live near me. I guess the advice sort of helps.

    Take care of yourself bud. There are people out there that will love you for you. Your dad may even come around, even if it takes several years.

  8. CrazybutLazy

    CrazybutLazy Banned

    Get out of the house and use a pay phone to call child services like SlickyPants suggested. Don't hesitate. You really need to do this RIGHT NOW.
  9. pianoperson60

    pianoperson60 Senior Member

    Im so sorry man, reading that was really shocking...
    I always have a hard time understanding reactions like this, because Ive never had problesm from anyone, physical or emotional, in reaction to my coming out....Im so sorry man...
    You need to get out tho, right now ya gotta reach out to your friends. Call a child help hotline, unfortunately I dont know any off hand.

    good luck man, stay strong.
    Remember- theres nothing wrong with you, and there IS love in the world, dont let your fahter try to convince you otherwise.
  10. *Andy*

    *Andy* Senior Member

    Oh God...This was really upsetting to read. Try to go live with your (boy)friend. I hate to say it, but you really should not have come out to your dad unless you had a backup plan in case he did freak out like this. I guess there's not point in saying what you should've done either. Talk to him.

    I don't think you should call the cops. They're probably full of homophobes too. Call Child Services like StickyPants said.

    Good luck - I really do hope you work things out. Tell us how things go okay?

    :grouphug: From us all.
  11. yarapario

    yarapario Village Elder

    Your father has committed the crime of Domestic Violence and maybe a hate crime as well. The cops have to respond to this., Get in the yellow pages and find hot line numbers for help through some agency as well as calling the cops.. Don't let him a get a hold of you again.
  12. Seriousely, call the Child Abuse Hotline. And, here are a few other numbers to call, assuming you are in the US:
    Boy's Town- 1-800-448-3000
    Hope Line- 1-800-656-4673
    National Youth Crisis Hot Line- 1-800-448-4663
  13. Lembicca

    Lembicca Member

    Hi everyone. I wanted to say thank you for the concnern. I am sorry this is so late but my dad took away my computer and my phone so I was not able to get in touch for a while.

    After what happened I called my 'friend' to see if i could stay with him. He told me he didn't want his parents to know about us. So basically he said F you to me. Not only did my dad turn against me but so did the first guy I ever loved.

    I've been livng with my dad still and he's calmed down. He just now let me have my computer back. He hasn't spoken at all about what happened. It's like it never did happen. I guess I'm just going to avoid love for right now. Maybe when I am older and I live on my own I will find someone. Right now I am too scared to take any chances with my dad again.
  14. yarapario

    yarapario Village Elder

    Glad you're OK. Lay low and take care of yourself.

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