what should i do? girlfriend troubles...

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by extreme4x4rules, Feb 2, 2009.

  1. ok so iv been dating this girl a little older than me for a couple months now. its been great, we get along great, shes laid back, awesome in bed, and i really like her a lot. i had a couple people over for a party the other night, everythings going well, getting drunk, having a good time, etc... as the night quiets down and people are going home, shes out smoking a but with a friend of mine. hes my age, kind of a wanderer, i basically took him in, paid for his booze because he didnt have any money, gave him a place to stay, took him under my wing.

    so after a half hour or so after everyone had left i decided i was going to bed, they were still outside smoking a butt. i became a little worried so i went outside, they were sitting in her car talking so i just said i was going to bed. they came in with me and the kid goes "dude dont worry, nothing happen out there" so... clearly something happened. i asked my girlfriend and she said he kissed her, so i basically told him to leave (politely even) and i decided i was going to bed because i was too drunk and tired to deal with this.

    after some arguing and me being pissed we (girlfriend and i) went to bed. in the morning we began discussing again and i found out it wasnt just him who kissed her, it was mutual (there for she lied). she said she wished it never happend, it was just a two second kiss. but she partially wanted to do it because she wanted to prove to herself she didnt love me???? wtf??? (she thinks she shouldnt have feelings for someone younger than herself) i dont know what to make of this, im really pissed at both of them and dont know what to do, i really do love her and she says she loves me and is really sorry.. i want to forgive her but all i can think of is his lips on hers and that disgusts me, i dont even want to kiss her right now. iv been nothing but nice to her through this entire relationship, we havnt fought once, i cook her dinner all the time, do whatever she wants to do, and i get this..

    so basically if anyone took the time to read that, what do you think i should do??? am i over reacting? should i be this mad? should i forgive and forget? i dont know...
     
  2. mmg

    mmg fish out of water

    chop 'em up into little pieces and drop them in drum of acid.
     
  3. Jehovah7

    Jehovah7 Member

    Sounds like your a good dude and they are both very wrong for being unfaithful and taking advantage of you. Trust me you don't want to be with people like that anymore. Don't hesitate to kick her to the curb and find a better girl or better yet remain single and give all your love to the Lord instead of a girl who does not even seem worthy.
     
  4. audiovisions

    audiovisions Member

    My suggestion, stop being a doormat. Sounds like both of them are taking advantage of your 'niceness'. You can forgive for now, but recognize this as a sign that you need to be the man and take control of this relationship.

    Not saying be an asshole or anything like that, but when I read 'i cook her dinner all the time' and 'do whatever she wants to do' makes me think she is in total control of you.

    Attraction is a funny thing when it comes to women. When they feel like they got you right where they want you they start to lose it, and then stuff like this happens. Its important to be nice, but not a doormatt or a wussbag. She appearantly was attracted to your friend, probably because of the fact that he is not like you, at all. This is all a game, and a test. All women do it to one extent or another, but you gotta realize its a test to see if you will be a man or just put up with her b.s.

    Sounds like your friend is pretty much the polar opposite of you, sorry to say it but people gotta pull their own and not expect free rides, hell he is moved into your house and now moving in your girl, not a good thing. Be a man, tell them both to shape up or get out.
     
  5. Slothguy

    Slothguy Member

    stick it in her butt
     
  6. RandomOne

    RandomOne Member

    You were doing great up till:

    If you go along with everything she wants to do, she thinks you will let her get away with anything. It was a good thing that you confronted her about it.

    I dunno, that whole relationship sounds backwards to me.. anyway if she is gonna keep doing that despite your wishes, move on imo.. or get another girl on the side as well
     
  7. she is in no way in control of me, iam the man in the relationship haha. when i said "i cook dinner for her all the time" and "i do whatever she wants" i dont mean like im a wuss or a b*tch, excuse my french. its pretty mutual, shes in nursing school so she dosnt have time to cook a good meal and i have to make dinner anyways so i cook for her all the time. she pulls her weight. by "i do whatever she wants" i mean that im laid back, she wants me to make more decisions but i just say "i dont really care, pick what ya want", if its stuff like chick flicks and girly tv shows, i wont have it, but where we go out to eat, not a big deal, unless it really sucks or wicked expensive (tough times). what iam trying to say is im a good boyfriend, atleast i think so, and i could understand if i was an asshole then i should have no reason to get mad.

    also, a little more background about this kid: i met him at school (community college), he lives kind of near by, got kicked out of his house for a little so i let him crash at my place for a couple days, not a big deal. he found a place and now we jam once in a while (he plays guitar, i play drums). so since i was having people over, i said he could stay, he didnt have any money to pay for beers i thought i would be a good guy (too good) and let him drink for free. and thats how the night began.

    so i talked to her more about it today, i guess they were just sitting in her car because it was really cold out (it was snowing), they were listening to music, he said he wanted to kiss her, and went for it. she said "she wanted to see if she loved me" because she wanted to rationalize to herself how she had gotten into the situation? and iv heard both " after he kissed me i kicked him out of the car" and "i forgot what happened after he kissed me" she was really drunk but i dk.

    i really like this chick, i not associating with that kid anymore and i guess im just disappointed overall, i ignored her yesterday and told her if she ever cheated on me its over, she was pretty upset so i guess thats a good sign she cares.

    audiovisions: i really hope its not that test, it was one of my suspicions as well. thats what i was trying to test over the last day or two, i believe i was successful.

    slothguy: i have
     
  8. audiovisions

    audiovisions Member

    Just don't give into her, you have the power now that she f'ed up. Use it wisely, women don't screw around on guys that have power over them, out of fear that they will lose them. If they think they can get away with it, they will. Sucks, but its true.
     

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