What Religion should you follow?

I love Hummus,eat it every day,so I suppose I should be Muslim,although I don't really follow the logic of this...Oh I get it - it's humour.

 

Yes, it makes me giggle :biggrinjester:

 

Yeah I'm getting a little giggle too.

 

well oddly enough i was a baha'i for many years. i just never could buy the idea of anything needing to be infallible though. i wasn't much into bacon either however. don't think i ever was.

but i know what religion i should fallow. there isn't any name for it. maybe it isn't a religion at all. religions seem to imply that either something wants to be worshiped, or that some magic formula can be substituted for how reality works and all will be fine as long as we do.

that's not my religion either. my religion is to love all things visible and invisible. which doesn't mean to trust them. how can anyone trust anything that would want to be worshiped? and how likely is it that anything worthy of worship would want to be?

but rather what that love means, is to take into consideration what every that experiences that experiences. and to conduct oneself accordingly, in such a way, that were everyone to do so, the kind of world in which everyone might find real easy and probable opportunities for the gratification of their individual true natures, and in ways that are harmless to each other.

i believe in the religion of not lying to myself. not even the lie that not lying to myself means harshness either. nor the lie that reality is any one thing.

 

Maybe we shouldn't worry to much about reality.

 

Universal? Global? National? Local. Immediate! haha

 

Way to ignore the pantheons of European gods.
What a rubbish chart.

 

I am fairly certain that is covered in the the answer A ton of 'em.

 

That was kinda funny

 

Here is the missing part:

Following No on the Black Cat:

Are you good with a broadsword-----yes----Would you be willing to cross dangerous seas to pillage, plunder, and rape, rather than simply traveling over land.----------yes--------Viking Germanic beliefs
---------no--------Inland Germanic Beliefs

 

what you mean Jerry Garcia isnt God..??..

 

I lean (and learn) to the Left - so, as one who follows a Pagan path - I can go for that

 

Religions are basically theories. Generally speaking, there are three widely accepted theories concerning eternity (aka infinity, immortality, etc.). First, there is the Heaven theory, which holds that immortality is granted by virtue of an agreement made with one's Creator. Based on appearances, this agreement boils down to gaining immortality in the next life by accepting the terms of obedient surrender in this life. A potential downside for those who go this route is that their eternity will be played out in a landscape of their Creator's choosing; and considering the Creator's legendary appreciation of the acknowledgement, praise, and worship of lesser beings than itself, it is likely that His idea of an eternal good time and your idea of an eternal good time are going to be two different things altogether. So, just a heads-up on that.

Second, there is the Reincarnation theory. Reincarnation is the old, tried and true limitless succession of 80-90-year lifecycle-units (actually occurring simultaneously), with each new cycle offering a new and unique perspective from which to explore the possibilities of soul-growth previously missed in other incarnations (timeline existsences). It's like watching reruns of your favorite show; you spot something new each time which helps you to complete the picture. The purpose, as it turns out, is not to gain knowledge or wisdom, but rather, awareness. And even then, you don't gain awareness; you simply lose the lie. Beyond that, the idea is to become aware enough within a lifecycle unit to understand that it's all about relationship, and that All is related! As such, there is no "becoming One with All," since you can't connect to that which you were never in a state of disconnect with in the first place. And no matter what illusions of disconnection you have come to believe in, it is nothing that a thousand lifetimes cannot cure. After that, who's to say what is or isn't?

Third, there is Vampirism. Vampirism is the alternative to Heaven and Reincarnation theory. It allows one to bypass the endless re-birth and re-death processes, thereby allowing one to experience no interruptive break in the continuity of existence. On the surface, this sounds good. In fact, the list of advantages of being a vampire are more than just a little compelling. Think of it--mastering multiple musical instruments; mastering the greatest works of the greatest piano masters; quoting the entire works of Shakespeare by heart; able to kick the asses of ten Bruce Lees simultaneously while blindfolded and with both hads tied behind your back; never aging; able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. I could go on.

But, like Heaven theory, Vampirism, too, has its downside. For instance, a recent poll suggests that ninety-nine percent of all vampires were not at all artistically inclined before their transition/infection. Yet, a full one hundred percent of that ninety-nine percent are certified masters of at least twelve artistic disciplines, covering the works of all the masters. What this means is that the lack of a break in the continuity of existence has driven them to develop mastery over even mundane and previously undesirable pursuits. Indeed, a popular misconception about vampires is that they are creative geniuses, what with their knowledge of Shakespeare and the piano playing and all that. However, the truth is that vampires do not become more creative with the passing of time. Heard of any vampires composing their own stuff lately? Didn't think so.

The sad truth is that vampires soon learn that 3-dimensional reality allows for only so many possibilities; only so many objects to observe, and only so many ways to observe those objects, and only so many ways in which to arrange those objects. Eventually, the frame of reality is seen in both its entirety and its smallness both at the same time, and reality becomes just another coffin of sorts (devastating). Unable to press forward in any meaningful way, the vampire is thus forced to retrace its steps in its hunt for past meaning missed on side roads dismissed as not worth traveling three hundred years earlier. Small wonder, then, that, according to the same poll mentioned earlier, a full one hundred percent of all vampires claim they were told very little about very much concerning the benefits of vampirism by their recruiters.

Of course, when you think about it, the reincarnation experience is really nothing more than the vampire experience broken up into segments. Don't think so? Consider the vampire experience. You stop breathing, you die, you're buried, and the next thing you know, you're up and running again in a new body. Now, consider the reincarnator experience. You stop breathing, you die, you're buried, and the next thing you know, you're up and running agian in a new body. Sound familiar? Oh, and you're hungry! Always the hunger; always the feeding. Both the vampire and the reincarnator will be involved in endless feeding. We're all going to be feeding 'til the cows come home. But the cows won't be coming home because they can't walk, because they have no legs, because you ate them! Trust me, you have more in common with vampires than we know. So, the next time you find yourself judging vampires, just cut it out.

Of course, most reincarnators will claim that the only thing they have in common with vampires is immortality. They believe that the real litmus test for determining one's vamp-status is, and always has been, the drinking of the blood of one's victims. But are reincarnators being honest when they draw such a distinction between themselves and vampires? Is it really fair to distinguish oneself as a non-vampire simply because one cooks their blood before consuming it? Oh, I'm sorry . . . what's that? You say you dump the blood of your victim down the drain and restrict yourself to the flesh of the animal--and then only after it's been cooked. Ah yes, the power of fire. I almost forgot about the mythical cleansing power of fire--how it can purify even the bloodiest aspects of any harvest. Vampires, unholy creatures that they are, will not take the time to do a purification ceremony as we reincarnators do, even though it requires no more that a fire and tea/blood kettle. Is such laziness the product of evil, or is such evil the product of laziness? Like, which came first, the chicken or the egg? Another topic for another dimension.

Still not convinced that you're no better than a vampire? No? Ever wonder why the scene of an animal being "harvested" looks eerily similar to the scene of a vampire attack? I say, "similar," because the scene of an animal being harvested is twenty-three times more horrifyingly gory than the scene of a vampire attack. A vampire attack consists of two small pinholes in the neck, and symptoms of late-stage anemia. By contrast, the back room of a butcher shop looks like the scene of an especially terrible vampire attack--one that has gone oh so very, very wrong. The point is, whether you or your butcher prepares the harvest for your consumption, there is no denying that the Christian's, the reincarnator's and the vampire's meal is one and the same. So, for all intents and purposes, we're all vampires. If you still doubt your vampire nature, ask a friend to drive a wood stake through your heart and see what happens!

 

Tl;dr for a humor thread...

 

Looks like a copy and paste anyway.

 

thats all I got from that..

 

You're right. I forget that brain-strain is a very real problem for some, and I could stand to be more sympathetic.

 

You should follow the best religion of all. Raelianism. Www.rael.org