I like men and women and every person I have ever liked has been taken, whether they are with someone, engaged or married. Just wondering what anyone reading this thinks, particularly any men: There's a guy I like at work who also happens to be my boss whose recently got married. He's a couple of years older than me and he knows I like him as a female colleague close to him said something about 8 months ago. Unlike the other people I've liked, I've been receiving mixed messages from this guy. (even worse than when someone you like doesn't feel the same way). Just to give you the low down, when I joined the company this guy started flirting with me to the point of pursuing. Initially I wasn't interested whatsover and at times thought he was strange. (Well I suppose the strangeness hasn't changed!!) Then gradually I realised he was physically very attractive with a friendly personality, so I became attracted to him and began flirting too. As soon as I started to flirt though, he would back off. This has been constant on and off for the past year. He watches me and will say and do little things to wind me up, like he is almost picking on me, not to mention his ridiculing and patronizing remarks. However, if I instigate anything (flirtatious wise or simply joking around with him) sometimes he takes it in his stride but usually he backs off and is standoffish, even a little rude. He's like this particularly when other men are around. I've tried to treat him the same way but am now tiring of this game-playing so now I am just being nice to him and pretending that I don't fancy him anymore. I've been giving out the 'take it or leave it' attitude and have not flirted for over a month. Not surprisingly, he has started to pay me attention. If he sees me talking to another guy and having a laugh, I almost sense he gets jealous! Another thing I find rather odd is he rarely talks about his wife, whom what I've heard wears the trousers in their relationship, is very demanding, selfish and completely controls him. A male friend/colleague of mine asked him how his marriage was when they were talking about family and he just said "it's ok", like he wasn't particularly happy. Tell me, does this man like me or not?? For a while I thought my imagination was running wild, but then I'm not the type to imagine things, not for a whole year. I'm as much in the dark as I was a year ago. He is a total enigma and cannot work him out whatsover. I do think he is shy, as he's not the sort of guy to easily open up. His position may reflect that. I'm fed up with having the carrot dangled in my face. I was just wondering if there are any guys (in particular) who could give me a male perspective of this guy's behaviour and offer any advice. Thanks Sorry to have gone on so much.
I'm not a guy but to me it just sounds like he's stringing you along and playing games wiht you. YOu said he's recently got married and I doubt he would have done that if he had strong feelings for you- I say stay away! He may fancy you or be attracted to you and just enjoy the flirting game, but thats probably it I think.
Flirting can be fun. If it is returned, then it might lead to other things. Both as a boss and as a married man, he may be cautious about those "other things." It sounds like he enjoys flirting with you, but is scared that mutual flirting may lead to something he doesn't want.
Bottom line... he is married. Forget about it unless it is ok with her. If he is thinking of cheating on his wife what kind of partner do you think he will be? RUN!
ydim, Your right I think it's best to forget about it. I'm fed up with all these mixed signals i'm receiving. It aint been easy this last year. In a few months I'm leaving anyway, so I won't have to see this guy again. Maybe I'll stick to women in future.
